There are degrees of pride, from the simple “I’m pretty good, and I did it myself” to the insolent pride spoken of in Proverbs 21:24.
Proverbs 21:24 – “Proud,” “Haughty,” “Scoffer,” are his names, Who acts with insolent pride.
This insolent pride is the biblical term for what secular literature refers to as malignant, or toxic, narcissism. While God hates all pride, it is the “insolent” part which is the most evil, destructive, and “damaging” to us.
For people who are not aware that these type of people even exist, and who kind-heartedly tend to think the best of everyone and want to minister to others, winding up in some type of relationship (see here) with them can turn out to be a wrenching experience.
Based on my own experience and observation, there seems to be a progression in how you internally process this. These steps of progression may proceed something like:
- Being hurt at the hands of a narcissist, feeling bad, and not knowing why
- Being hurt and reacting against the narcissist who is causing the hurt – but not knowing that you are dealing with a narcissist/someone with insolent pride
- Beginning to understand narcissism/insolent pride, and the traits and tactics of narcissists – but still angry
- Understanding narcissism traits and tactics to a degree that you no longer “react” against them – since you now know their “game”, but instead responding much more calmly and with much more understanding of what’s really happening
- Learning tactics and approaches for avoiding narcissists
- Learning tactics and approaches for dealing with narcissists that you cannot avoid
- Forgiving the narcissist who hurt you
- Learning to overcome evil with good
Romans 12:21 – Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
One purpose of this blog (see here for the entire list) is to help myself and others like you to make it through this progression.