Narcissistic* Traits and Tactics – They Add Fuel To Fires

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Proverbs 26:21

Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, So is a contentious man to kindle strife.

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Here are the stepping stones to how we know that Narcissists add fuel to fires

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  1. Narcissists are those with insolent pride (see here)
  2. Those with Insolent Pride are (=) Scoffers (Proverbs 21:24)
  3. Scoffers are (=) Contentious (Proverbs 22:10)
  4. Contentious people throw charcoal on hot embers or wood on a fire (Proverbs 26:21)

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How does this play out?   One example may be someone already criticizing someone else, and the narcissist “piles on” and tries to top the story already being told, with a statement like a “that’s nothing, you should have seen what he did to me last week”.  But sometimes the narcissist will whisper a criticism that stirs up a negative spark deep in someone else’s heart.

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Proverbs 26:20 – For lack of wood the fire goes out, And where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.

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The reason the tactic of whispering works to stir up contention and strife is because most people love to hear dirt on someone else.

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Proverbs 18:8 – The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, And they go down into the innermost parts of the body.

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Whenever the Bible repeats something, God is underlining the point He is making.  Proverbs 18:8 is repeated in Proverbs 26:22.

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Proverbs 26:22 – The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, And they go down into the innermost parts of the body.

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The narcissist takes advantage of people’s natural desire to hear dirt (dainty morsels) on others in order to create the doubts / controversy / conflict that ultimately puts them in the lead / prime / controlling position.  Its a typical move on the narcissists’ part to stir up strife in a way that is not visible to others.

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* Narcissist is the modern colloquial term for the Bible calls “insolent pride”.  See here.

 

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