Dealing With Narcissists* – Crying Out, Seeking God

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Psalm 34:4-7

I sought the Lord, and He answered me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces will never be ashamed.
This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him
And saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him,
And rescues them.
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Often, we will not have any idea what to do with the difficult Narcissist-caused circumstance in which we find ourselves.  After struggling and searching about on our own for answers, we may ultimately reach the end of our rope – where the only thing we are able to do is to cry out to the Lord to help us, to save us, to deliver us.  We may not know what to ask for, but simply to ask God for a miracle.  While we may not see any immediate answers, this crying out to God and asking for help can be the first step of a process where He will bring us to much firmer ground.  We may not even see that this crying out is the first step – until we look backwards months or years in the future.
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We probably needed to get to our wit’s end, to be exhausted of all our answers, in order to motivate us to finally look up to Him for help.  And even though we made God our last resort instead of our first resort, He will graciously and lovingly respond in helping us – although it may be a process instead of a bolt-of-lightning miracle.  God has been there waiting to help us all along.

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Psalm 116:1-6

116 I love the Lord, because He hears
My voice and my supplications.
Because He has inclined His ear to me,
Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live.
The cords of death encompassed me
And the terrors of Sheol came upon me;
I found distress and sorrow.
Then I called upon the name of the Lord:
“O Lord, I beseech You, save my life!”

Gracious is the Lord, and righteous;
Yes, our God is compassionate.
The Lord preserves the simple;
I was brought low, and He saved me.

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Psalm 18:4-6

The cords of death encompassed me,
And the torrents of ungodliness terrified me.
The cords of Sheol surrounded me;
The snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called upon the Lord,
And cried to my God for help;
He heard my voice out of His temple,
And my cry for help before Him came into His ears.

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  • Narcissism is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” – see here

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  • For the first gateway step in seeking God, see here

4 responses

  1. I could not believe what l was reading as l did what the world calles NPD .It seem hopeless only because to get help you have to realize you need help and that is something a Narcissed does not Identify with ever needing .My husband divorced me he was in ministry had to step down and now has founded another on his own with the pastor who backed him knowing all .l am trying to stand for my marriage but l also know what l am up against buy reading all of this .I do not want to be double minded in doubting that this person could ever change if they are not seeing themselves the evil spirit that consumes them .l need help in knowing how to fight this spirit especially for my kids l see the damage it is causing the control and lack ok emotion and apathy and empathy and at the same time in the public eye holding up such a mask while trying to destroy me

    • Thanks so much for your comments, Yolanda. My heart goes out to you. There is always hope in God, even in the midst of the most difficult situations. Actually, HE just used your comments to give me some guidance on what to do next on this blog – I was struggling a little, and asked Him yesterday for guidance – and He used your note about your struggle to show me a couple of next steps. Thank you!

  2. Wow, I am so incredibly thankful I found this site. I have been devastated by a narcissist scoffer in my life. I have reached the bottom and I can relate to all of this. He was publicly shaming me before I even knew, while he was cheating on me, and meanwhile I was still telling people we working on our relationship. I’m also searching for scriptures and biblical guidance so that I may protect our 11 month old son and raise him the way God wants me to raise him so that his narcissistic father’s reach will not affect him negatively.

  3. Pingback: The Contentious Woman Changes « Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism

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