Dealing With Narcissists – Let God Defend You Through His Goodness

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Psalm 119:41-42

41 May Your lovingkindnesses also come to me, O Lord,
Your salvation according to Your word;
42 So I will have an answer for him who reproaches me,
For I trust in Your word.

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For those of us who have tried to defend ourselves in the face of a narcissist’s* attack, we have typically seen that it does not work.  Any defense we make usually just gives the N additional ammunition. 

Rather than defending ourselves, we can ask God to show His goodness to us in a way that shows His stamp of approval – His public vindication of us which sends a message to the N that HE is on our side.

This is the best way of the handling the “defense dilemma”, where in the process of defending ourself the N finds a way to make it appear that we’re the guilty party.

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Our job in this is to focus on doing what is right and to leave our defense in God’s hands

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1 Peter 4:19

19 Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.

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God’s job is to work strongly on our behalf, and in this way bring glory to Himself by demonstrating to the world just a little more who He is.

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2 Chronicles 16:9

For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. 

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When those with insolent pride see our vindication through God’s blessing, they may respond in jealousy, but they will have to answer to God for that.

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In the process, we need to maintain the same attitude as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abnego in their response to Nebuchadnezzar – even though they had complete faith that God was able to deliver them, they ultimately left it to God to handle it as He saw fit.

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Daniel 3:17-18

17 If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. 18 But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”