Dealing With Narcissists – Let God Defend You Through His Goodness


Psalm 119:41-42

41 May Your lovingkindnesses also come to me, O Lord,
Your salvation according to Your word;
42 So I will have an answer for him who reproaches me,
For I trust in Your word.


For those of us who have tried to defend ourselves in the face of a narcissist’s* attack, we have typically seen that it does not work.  Any defense we make usually just gives the N additional ammunition. 

Rather than defending ourselves, we can ask God to show His goodness to us in a way that shows His stamp of approval – His public vindication of us which sends a message to the N that HE is on our side.

This is the best way of the handling the “defense dilemma”, where in the process of defending ourself the N finds a way to make it appear that we’re the guilty party.


Our job in this is to focus on doing what is right and to leave our defense in God’s hands


1 Peter 4:19

19 Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.


God’s job is to work strongly on our behalf, and in this way bring glory to Himself by demonstrating to the world just a little more who He is.


2 Chronicles 16:9

For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. 


When those with insolent pride see our vindication through God’s blessing, they may respond in jealousy, but they will have to answer to God for that.


In the process, we need to maintain the same attitude as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abnego in their response to Nebuchadnezzar – even though they had complete faith that God was able to deliver them, they ultimately left it to God to handle it as He saw fit.


Daniel 3:17-18

17 If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. 18 But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

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