Dealing With Narcissists – Fact Check Everything

.

As a narcissist is notoriously unreliable, it is important to fact check (at least to yourself) what comes out of their mouth rather than accept they say at face value.

.

Proverbs 14.15 – “The naive believes everything, But the sensible man considers his steps.”

.

Proverbs 18.17 – “The first to plead his case seems right, Until another comes and examines him.”

.

Matthew 18.16 – “so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed.”

.

2 Corinthians 13.1 – “This is the third time I am coming to you. Every fact is to be confirmed by the testimony of two or three witnesses.”

.

1 Timothy 5.19 – “Do not receive an accusation against an elder except on the basis of two or three witnesses.”

.

Narcissists / those with insolent pride tend to exaggerate their skills, accomplishments, track record, commitment to the cause, etc.   They also will stretch the truth or outright lie in order to get what they want.   And they do not hesitate to trash the reputation of those who get in their way.  So while this basic biblical principle of confirming things instead of believing every thing you are told is always appropriate – it is especially applicable when dealing with narcissists.

.

.

Please see Putting “Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism” Into Perspective for an overview and frame of reference on what this blog is about.

 

Narcissism and The Progression of Fools – Continued

.

In part 1 of “Narcissism and the Progression of Fools” we discussed the basic sequence of how a person can progressively harden their hearts as they wander away from God’s path.   A scoffer (one of the Biblical terms for a narcissist), is one stop along that path.

.

For your further study, following is a list of all the verses which include the Hebrew words which were used in the previous post.  I have made a rough attempt at grouping them by subject matter in order to make it easier to digest the large number of verses, but the groupings and their headings are simply a guide.  I encourage you to study them for yourselves.

 .

Continue reading

Dealing with Narcissists – Do Not Turn To Them For Help

.

Psalm 40:4

How blessed is the man who has made the Lord his trust, And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood.

.

[See here for the full context]

.

In our zeal to get something done, or out of desperation to resolve a situation we sometimes look for help in the wrong places.  And the result may be that we find ourselves worse off than before.  This can be especially true of reaching out to narcissists (insolent pride / proud / haughty / scoffers) for help.    There are practical reasons why God warns us not to reach out to narcissists:

.

  1. The narcissist will many times “get it wrong” (see here and here)
  2. God is fundamentally opposed to a narcissist’s pride, so HE is not likely to bless the work of their hands (James 4 and here)
  3. Narcissists are unreliable (Psalm 5)
  4. Narcissists have a self-centered agenda, so they will turn things around from helping you to somehow helping or glorifying themselves – while making a big show about helping (Proverbs 25:14 and here and here)
  5. Narcissists will likely try to take over – but only to the extent that they can command you what to do, not to the extent of actually helping (see here)
  6. The Narcissist will likely create much more conflict than any actual help they provide (see here)
  7. Narcissists will make sure to tell you that they themselves would never have gotten into the situation that you’re in (see here)

.

But there are also other reasons “why” God wants to turn to Him in our time of need, rather than to an arrogant human.  More about this when we more fully address the “why” question.

.

  • Narcissism is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” – see here

 

 

 

Be Loved, To Love

We Love Because He First Loved Us

Boundlessly Good

God's Motive For All That He Does