The Opposite Of Narcissism Is Love – Intro

February 6, 2016 By Searching4Wisdom in 2 Consequences For Narcissists, 2 Narcissist Traits, 3 Why God Allows Narcissists To Wreak Havoc, 4 Beyond Healing

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1 Corinthians 13:4-8

⁴Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, ⁵does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, ⁶does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; ⁷bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

⁸Love never fails…….

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We would normally think that the opposite of narcissism / insolent pride is humility – which is true. But, insolent pride is also the opposite of genuine love. According to the verses above, love

Is kind
Is not jealous
Does not brag
Is not arrogant
Does not seek its own
Is not provoked
Does not take into account a wrong suffered

These are the polar opposites of the traits shown by narcissists. As we will discuss going forward, the contrast between narcissism and genuine love is fundamental to helping us understand:

the real (eternal) consequences which narcissists have chosen for themselves
why God allows them to wreak havoc
how God wants us to respond and deal with them
why it is important that we look at our own hearts even while we are struggling with the N in our lives

Narcissism is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls insolent pride – see here

Narcissist* Consequences – Don’t Gloat

October 4, 2015 By Searching4Wisdom in 2 Consequences For Narcissists

Proverbs 24:17-18

¹⁷Do not rejoice when your enemy falls,
And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles;
¹⁸Or the Lord will see it and be displeased,
And turn His anger away from him.

As we said previously, one key to having peace in the midst of dealing with a difficult narcissist is the understanding that God is a Just Judge, and will, in the end, give to the narcissist everything that they deserve. This trust that God will deal out the proper consequences can give us the freedom to focus on our own inner peace and happiness (which ultimately comes from Him), as well as “doing what is right” in our situation. If we are a genuinely loving person, we will not take delight in what God does to the the narcissist – but we will be at peace with it.

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Proverbs 17:5

⁵……He who rejoices at calamity will not go unpunished.

* Narcissism is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” – see here

Consequences For Narcissists*, Continued

October 4, 2015 By Searching4Wisdom in 2 Consequences For Narcissists

Psalm 31:23

²³……. The Lord preserves the faithful
And fully recompenses the proud doer.

Galatians 6:7

⁷Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.

Jeremiah 17:10 – “I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds.

While narcissists* (those with insolent pride) often do seem to “get away with” their actions, God says that ultimately they will receive everything they deserve. While we discussed here and here the timeless consequences which they will receive, narcissists will also consistently and repeatedly receive consequences in their current lives as well. These consequences are partly the natural consequences of straying from God’s perfect design for successful living, but also are God’s way to get the narcissists’ attention in order to avoid the much more serious timeless consequences. (Of course, narcissists tend not to listen.)

Some of the consequences include:

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Timeless Consequences for Narcissists* – Part 2

October 1, 2015 By Searching4Wisdom in 2 Consequences For Narcissists Tags: Psalms

Revelation 20:12-13

¹²And I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne, and books were opened; and another book was opened, which is the book of life; and the dead were judged from the things which were written in the books, according to their deeds. ¹³And the sea gave up the dead which were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead which were in them; and they were judged, every one of them according to their deeds.

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We may intuitively understand that enemies of God will ultimately be judged. But, it is very clear that everyone, even His friends will be judged. Paul wrote to the Christians in Corinth:

2 Corinthians 5:10 – For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.

So, whether the narcissist we are dealing with is a total enemy of God, or claims to be a Christian, he will ultimately receive his full consequences from God for his actions toward us. However, while there is a 1 to 1 relationship between actions and consequences, there will be a difference in consequences based on his “standing” when he faces judgment. This watershed is found in Psalm 32:

Psalm 32:1-2

32 How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven,
Whose sin is covered!
²How blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity,
And in whose spirit there is no deceit!

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Timeless Consequences For Narcissists* – Part 1

September 27, 2015 By Searching4Wisdom in 2 Consequences For Narcissists

As we briefly mentioned here, a key to peace and confidence in our dealings with narcissists is the understanding that even though they try to hide it, God sees what the narcissist is doing, and calls them to account for the purpose of giving them fair and proper consequences for their actions. In the end they are not really getting away with anything.

Three questions related to this are:

Does God give 100 percent of the consequences “deserved” by the narcissist? Or said another way, even though God says that a narcissist will get consequences, does he get “full consequences” or only partial consequences (and as a result, partially “gets away with it”)
Is there a 1 to 1 relationship between the narcissist’s specific actions and the resulting consequence given by God? In other words, does God precisely give a full and complete matching consequence for every single act of evil committed by the narcissist?
What in fact are the consequences given to the narcissist for his actions?

These questions need to be answered in light of both short term (ie – what a narcissist receives in this life) and long term (ie – what a narcissist receives in the next life) consequences. Though a narcissist may appear to get away with something in this life, he is not really getting away with it after eternal consequences are included in the equation.

Because the eternal consequences are in fact the more important consequences, we will start there. To lay a foundation, in this Part I, John Piper discusses rather clearly a final judgment by God that has eternal consequences. In Part 2 we will explore the 1 to 1 relationship between a person’s actions in this life and the judgment that they will receive.

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Dealing With Narcissists* – Understand That They (And We) Will Give An Account To God

July 17, 2015 By Searching4Wisdom in 2 Consequences For Narcissists, 3 Consequences, 3 Letting God Act, 5 Dealing with Narcissists

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Romans 14:12 – So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.

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1 Peter 4:5 – but they will give account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.

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Galatians 6:7 – Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.

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Hebrews 10:30 – For we know Him who said, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge His people.”

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One of our biggest struggles in dealing with narcissists (those with insolent pride, see here) is when we see them “getting away with it” – “successfully” dodging responsibility, blaming others, sliding by without receiving any consequences for their destructive actions and the pain they are inflicting on us and others.

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