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Satan is the original and most clear example of a Narcissist / One with insolent pride. (See here for an explanation on why Satan was the original narcissist). By understanding Satan’s insolent pride and his narcissistic traits, we can get another glimpse into the characteristics of narcissists. Here is a partial list of Satan’s narcissistic traits:
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The challenge for those dealing with a narcissist who is “close” is to deal with the situation in a practical way while also walking in faith. How do we allow God right into the middle of the situation? On top of this, we are frequently told some form of “God can’t or won’t help you” – urging us to take things into our hands to solve it on our own apart from God.
David was in the same situation. His son Absalom was a narcissist whom God raised up to chastise David for his sin with Bathsheba.
David was forced to flee for his life. In the process, many said that God would not deliver him from the adversaries that were coming at him. But David had a different view, which he declared in Psalm 3.
A Psalm of David, when he fled from Absalom his son.
3 O Lord, how my adversaries have increased!
Many are rising up against me.
2 Many are saying of my soul,
“There is no deliverance for him in God.” Selah.3 But You, O Lord, are a shield about me,
My glory, and the One who lifts my head.
4 I was crying to the Lord with my voice,
And He answered me from His holy mountain. Selah.
I lay down and slept;
I awoke, for the Lord sustains me.
6 I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people
Who have set themselves against me round about.
7 Arise, O Lord; save me, O my God!
For You have smitten all my enemies on the cheek;
You have shattered the teeth of the wicked.
8 Salvation belongs to the Lord;
Your blessing be upon Your people! Selah.Psalm 3
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David cried out to the Lord and then trusted God for help, allowing him to sleep peacefully even before the deliverance came. David did not succumb to other’s lack of faith, and in the end God executed judgment on Absalom and rescued David.
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See here for initial steps on how to know God personally
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“How you have fallen from heaven, O star of the morning, son of the dawn! You have been cut down to the earth, You who have weakened the nations! “But you said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God, And I will sit on the mount of assembly In the recesses of the north. ‘I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’
Isaiah 14:12-14
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The above passage is well-known as referring to satan, the devil, lucifer, beelzebub, or one of the other names used for one of God’s top angels who out of pride thought he could be be like God. To be in such close proximity to God, to see His power and glory, and to think that you could be like God — and then attempt to do it – was the height of arrogance. (See here for how according to the Bible, narcissism = insolent pride.)
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And the devil said to Him [Jesus], “I will give You all this domain and its glory; for it has been handed over to me, and I give it to whomever I wish. Therefore if You worship before me, it shall all be Yours.” Jesus answered him, “It is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God and serve Him only.’”
Luke 4:6-8
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Satan also showed his true nature when one of the 3 temptations he presented to Jesus was designed to force Jesus to worship him. Satan could have offered any other temptation, but was was so proud, arrogant, and haughty that he took the moment of Jesus’ physical weakness from fasting to take a shot at getting what he really wanted – to be the #1 being. He wanted somehow to be above God. Narcissists will NEVER stop trying to exalt themselves until they are #1 in “their world”, with some even attempting to be “king of the world”. They will use whatever opportunities they are presented with to continue working toward that goal.
Notice in the above passage that Satan claimed the earth was his to give. This was a deluded and arrogant lie, as the earth was definitely not his to give. Satan knew Psalm 24:1 – that the earth and world belonged to God, not him.
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The earth is the Lord’s, and all it contains, The world, and those who dwell in it..Psalm 24:1.
You (Pharisees) are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He (satan, the devil) was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
John 8:44
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* Narcissist is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” please see here for an explanation
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Click here for initial steps on how to know God personally
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In His teaching He was saying: “Beware of the scribes who like to walk around in long robes, and like respectful greetings in the market places, and chief seats in the synagogues and places of honor at banquets, who devour widows’ houses, and for appearance’s sake offer long prayers; these will receive greater condemnation.”
Mark 12:38-44
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“So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites (i.e. the Pharisees) do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.
Matthew 6:2
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[Note: We know Jesus was referring to the scribes and Pharisees when He mentioned “hypocrites” in Matthew 6 because of what it says in Matthew 23 – “But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites…… linking the “hypocrite” label to the scribes and Pharisees. The scribes and Pharisees were the narcissists of their day (see here and here and here and here) and are a good case study of narcissistic traits and tactics.]
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Jesus was seeking to protect those who were listening to Him through his cautionary “beware” about the hypocritical scribes (and Pharisees). These narcissists
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Jesus’ listeners needed to be wary of these narcissists not only because of the potential harm they could do through their greedy actions, but also (and even more importantly) because of the terrible example of “faith” which these narcissists were setting. Instead of humbling themselves before the God of the universe, and praying secretly, they were putting on a show for only the exaltation which they would receive from men. Following this supposed spiritual leadership of the scribes would be the opposite of a genuine life of the kind of faith pleasing to God, and spiritually dangerous to any who would follow. Hence Jesus’ warning to “beware”.
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While Jesus did not call out these scribes by name, He did something even better by providing a guideline by which His listeners could recognize these people and others like them – and to prudently be on guard against them and their destructively prideful and self-seeking ways.
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Click here for initial steps on how to know God personally
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Please see Putting “Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism” Into Perspective for an overview of this blog.
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Narcissists are notorious for engaging in self-focused drama, while attempting to suck every one else in. It’s one of their go-to moves to attract attention. It might look like this:
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Jesus was well aware of the danger of allowing His narcissists – the Pharisees – to throw Him off His mission. He engaged with them when they approached Him with a test, but did not make them the focus of His ministry. He expressed His overall view to His disciples,
.“Let them [the Pharisees] alone; they are blind guides of the blind. And if a blind man guides a blind man, both will fall into a pit.”Matthew 15:14.
Then it happened that as Jesus was reclining at the table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were dining with Jesus and His disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they said to His disciples, “Why is your Teacher eating with the tax collectors and sinners?” But when Jesus heard this, He said, “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick.Matthew 9:10-12
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There are several Psalms that describe and address those with insolent pride (aka narcissists – see here). Psalm 12 is one of those Psalms. It describes them strutting about with the insolently prideful attitude that no one can tell them what to do (“who is lord over us”). They flatter and speak lies , believing that they can get what they want through manipulating people and situations by what they say (“with our tongue we will prevail”). Classic narcissistic approach.
But it also invites the Lord to cut them off, and describes how, ultimately, God will protect His people from these evil people.
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12 Help, Lord, for the godly man ceases to be,
For the faithful disappear from among the sons of men.
2 They speak falsehood to one another;
With flattering lips and with a double heart they speak.
3 May the Lord cut off all flattering lips,
The tongue that speaks great things;
4 Who have said, “With our tongue we will prevail;
Our lips are our own; who is lord over us?”
5 “Because of the devastation of the afflicted, because of the groaning of the needy,
Now I will arise,” says the Lord; “I will set him in the safety for which he longs.”
6 The words of the Lord are pure words;
As silver tried in a furnace on the earth, refined seven times.
7 You, O Lord, will keep them;
You will preserve him from this generation forever.
8 The wicked strut about on every side
When vileness is exalted among the sons of men.Psalm 12
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* Narcissism is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible describes as “insolent pride” (see here)
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The Pharisees are a prominent example of Insolent Pride / Narcissism in the Bible (see here and here). They were described as “scoffers” in Isaiah 28, and “scoffers” are one of the “names” given to those with insolent pride – [“‘Proud’, ‘haughty’, ‘scoffer’ are his names who acts with insolent pride” – Proverbs 21:24]. And insolent pride = narcissism (see here).
A prime characteristic of a scoffer is that they set themselves up as judge over others, based on an arbitrary standard of their own creation. They will not try to keep their own standard, as they see themselves as above the rules. And they will change the standard as necessary to suit their primary objective of being “above” others (that’s one of the reasons its an “arbitrary” standard). The imperative of scoffers / insolent pride / narcissists is to maintain their superiority over others.
Here are some examples of the Pharisees acting as judge:
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When the Pharisees saw this, they said to His disciples, “Why is your Teacher eating with the tax collectors and sinners?”
Matthew 9:11
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The Pharisees set an implied arbitrary rule as to who “righteous” people should eat with, and then judged Jesus against that rule]
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Then the disciples of John *came to Him, asking, “Why do we and the Pharisees fast, but Your disciples do not fast?”
Matthew 9:14
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The Pharisees took something they were doing (fasting), and turned it into a standard they could use with which to judge others]
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But the Pharisees were saying, “He casts out the demons by the ruler of the demons.”
Matthew 9:34
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Rather than carefully exploring how Jesus was able to cast out demons, the Pharisees jumped to the conclusion that since Jesus’ power could not be from God (based on the Pharisees’ own pre-determined view), it had to come from Satan. Since falsely attributing Jesus’ miracles to Satan’s power would clearly undermine Jesus’ ministry, the Pharisees were quick to take the opportunity to do this.
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But when the Pharisees saw this, they said to Him, “Look, Your disciples do what is not lawful to do on a Sabbath.”
Matthew 12:2
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The Pharisees were interpreting the law according to their own opinion, and using their interpretation as the basis for judging Jesus]
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But when the Pharisees heard this, they said, “This man casts out demons only by Beelzebul the ruler of the demons.”
Matthew 12:24
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Once again, rather than honestly exploring the true source Jesus’ ability to cast out demons, the Pharisees were quick to judge and condemn Him, based on an interpretation that would most fully demean and undermine Jesus.
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See here for initial steps on how to know God personally
* Narcissism is the colloquial secular term for what the Bible refers to as “insolent pride”.
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Narcissists (or those with insolent pride, see here), frequently “use” others as tools to achieve their goals. Once the narcissists have gotten what they want, they easily discard the people they used without any further consideration. An example is how the narcissistic Pharisees (see here and here) treated Judas after Judas had betrayed Jesus.
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Now when morning came, all the chief priests and the elders of the people conferred together against Jesus to put Him to death; 2 and they bound Him, and led Him away and delivered Him to Pilate the governor.
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3 Then when Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that He [Jesus] had been condemned, he [Judas] felt remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, 4 saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” But they said, “What is that to us? See to that yourself!”5 And he threw the pieces of silver into the temple sanctuary and departed; and he went away and hanged himself.
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6 The chief priests took the pieces of silver and said, “It is not lawful to put them into the temple treasury, since it is the price of blood.” 7 And they conferred together and with the money bought the Potter’s Field as a burial place for strangers. 8 For this reason that field has been called the Field of Blood to this day.9 Then that which was spoken through Jeremiah the prophet was fulfilled: “And they took the thirty pieces of silver, the price of the one whose price had been set by the sons of Israel; 10 and they gave them for the Potter’s Field, as the Lord directed me.”
Matthew 27:1-10
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In this case, after the Pharisees (chief priests and elders) were more than happy to use Judas as a tool to get what they wanted (the destruction of Jesus), they did not care the slightest about what happened to Judas. He was just someone to be used as means to their end. This is consistent with insolent pride – looking down on others as of much less importance, and therefore merely to be used and then easily discarded with no further consideration of their needs.
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This principle has a second application in this case. Judas was not only a tool of the Pharisees, but was also a tool of Satan in Satan’s quest to destroy Jesus. Satan (a “narcissist” filled with insolent pride, see here) also uses people for his evil purposes, and then drives them to their destruction.
* Narcissist is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride”. Please see here for an explanation.
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While it may not be obvious through a cursory look, Cain was likely the first human narcissist (Satan was the very first narcissist, see here). Let’s go through the Biblical evidence:
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The first clue that Cain was a narcissist with insolent pride is found here:
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“not as Cain, who was of the evil one and slew his brother. And for what reason did he slay him? Because his deeds were evil, and his brother’s were righteous.”I John 3:12
“You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”John 8:44
not as Cain, who was of the evil one and slew his brother. And for what reason did he slay him? Because his deeds were evil, and his brother’s were righteous.
but for Cain and for his offering He had no regard. So Cain became very angry and his countenance fell.Genesis 4:5.
If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.”Genesis 4:7.
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Cain told Abel his brother. And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him. Genesis 4:8
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” And he said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”Genesis 4:9
.Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is too great to bear! 14 Behold, You have driven me this day from the face of the ground (NOT true)
“and from Your face I will be hidden” (NOT true)
and I will be a vagrant and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.” (a grossly overstated fear)Genesis 4:13
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The way of the wicked is like darkness;
They do not know over what they stumble.Proverbs 4:19
Narcissists (aka those with insolent pride) stumble alot (see here), Their stumbling often prevents them from making much progress in their self-exalting goals. But even if a narcissist manages to achieve or maneuver his way to a top position, his insolent pride can still blind his judgment to the point of making a fatal mistake (See “They Have Poor Judgement”).
In our final post about Haman for awhile, we clearly see this. Once he had been promoted to the king’s right hand man, Haman thought he was invincible. As a result, he felt he was free to destroy the entire population of Mordecai’s ethnicity, the Jews, with no consequences to himself. Continue reading
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Continuing in our case study of Haman. Even though Haman had achieved “everything”, he was obsessed with the one thing he didn’t have – Mordecai’s recognition of Haman’s “glory”. That is typical of narcissists* – they can have everything going “right” in their world, but in the middle of that will obsess about one little slight that they think they have received from someone.
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3 After these events King Ahasuerus promoted Haman, the son of Hammedatha the Agagite, and advanced him and established his authority over all the princes who were with him. All the king’s servants who were at the king’s gate bowed down and paid homage to Haman; for so the king had commanded concerning him. But Mordecai neither bowed down nor paid homage……….When Haman saw that Mordecai neither bowed down nor paid homage to him, Haman was filled with rage.
Esther 3:1-5
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This happened more than once.
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9 Then Haman went out that day glad and pleased of heart; but when Haman saw Mordecai in the king’s gate and that he did not stand up or[tremble before him, Haman was filled with anger against Mordecai. Haman controlled himsef, however, went to his house and sent for his friends and his wife Zeresh.
Then Haman recounted to them the glory of his riches, and the number of his sons, and every instance where the king had magnified him and how he had promoted him above the princes and servants of the king. Haman also said, “Even Esther the queen let no one but me come with the king to the banquet which she had prepared; and tomorrow also I am invited by her with the king.
Yet all of this does not satisfy me every time I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the king’s gate.”
Esther 5:9-13
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By his own words, even though the king promoted Haman to 2nd in command in the kingdom, Haman said, “yet all of this does not satisfy me every time I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the king’s gate”.
One prime characteristic of one with insolent pride (narcissists) is that they want it ALL, they are never completely satisfied, they want to be unquestionably #1 with no exceptions, they want everyone’s love and admiration. This drive is so entrenched in their hearts that they obsess over any “slight” that challenges it.
A story circulated a years ago about a famous, obviously narcissistic politician who could be in a room of admirers, but would spend an entire evening trying to win over the one person in the room whom he sensed had less than complete admiration. He could not tolerate less than complete admiration.
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When they are slighted it can lead to anger, and even retribution, as Haman’s case study shows.
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* Narcissist is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” please see here for an explanation
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As mentioned recently, the person called Haman in the Old Testament book of Esther was most likely a narcissist (scoffer, one filled with insolent pride). How do we know that Haman was a narcissist? Look at some of the descriptions:
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10 Haman ……. went to his house and sent for his friends and his wife Zeresh. 11 Then Haman recounted to them the glory of his riches, and the number of his sons, and every instance where the king had magnified him and how he had promoted him above the princes and servants of the king. 12 Haman also said, “Even Esther the queen let no one but me come with the king to the banquet which she had prepared; and tomorrow also I am invited by her with the king.
Esther 5:10-12
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This is clear narcissistic self-aggrandisement. See here and here and here for more.
In his insolent pride, Haman created a plan to get rid of Mordecai’s people, the Jews. The book of Esther is an illustration of how God prepares a slippery slope leading to sudden destruction for such people, as described in Psalm 73.
Setting the stage as part of God’s rescue plan and the revelation of Haman’s evil plan arising from his insolent pride, God actively worked behind the scenes. We often assume that God does not see and hear our cry for help, totally blind to what He is actually doing.
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6 During that night the king could not sleep so he gave an order to bring the book of records, the chronicles, and they were read before the king. 2 It was found written what Mordecai had reported concerning Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king’s eunuchs who were doorkeepers, that they had sought to lay hands on King Ahasuerus.
3 The king said, “What honor or dignity has been bestowed on Mordecai for this?” Then the king’s servants who attended him said, “Nothing has been done for him.”4 So the king said, “Who is in the court?” Now Haman had just entered the outer court of the king’s palace in order to speak to the king about hanging Mordecai on the gallows which he had prepared for him. 5 The king’s servants said to him, “Behold, Haman is standing in the court.” And the king said, “Let him come in.”
Esther 6:1-5
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Typical of narcisissts, Haman delusionally assumed that he was the one whom the king was preparing to honor, oblivious to the reality of what was taking place.
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6 So Haman came in and the king said to him, “What is to be done for the man whom the king desires to honor?” And Haman said to himself, “Whom would the king desire to honor more than me?”7
Then Haman said to the king, “For the man whom the king desires to honor,8 let them bring a royal robe which the king has worn, and the horse on which the king has ridden, and on whose head a royal crown has been placed; 9 and let the robe and the horse be handed over to one of the king’s most noble princes and let them array the man whom the king desires to honor and lead him on horseback through the city square, and proclaim before him, ‘Thus it shall be done to the man whom the king desires to honor.’”
Esther 6:6-9
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In his pride, Haman immediately and mistakenly assumed that he was the most deserving of the king’s honor. His advice to the king on how to honor him was to create an image that effectively exalted Haman to be on the same level as the king in the eyes of the public – wearing the king’s robe, riding the king’s horse, and having someone go in front proclaiming the greatness of the man being exalted.
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In the end, Haman’s insolent pride led to his sudden downfall.
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* Narcissist is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride”. See here and here for an explanation
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See here for initial steps to peace with God
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We are frequently tempted to lament that the arrogant “get away with it” – prospering, thinking far more highly of themselves than they should, and even speaking against God. This was certainly the case of the Psalmist in Psalm 73
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Surely God is good to Israel,
To those who are pure in heart!
But as for me, my feet came close to stumbling,
My steps had almost slipped.For I was envious of the arrogant
As I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
For there are no pains in their death,
And their body is fat.
They are not in trouble as other men,
Nor are they plagued like mankind.Therefore pride is their necklace;
The garment of violence covers them.
Their eye bulges from fatness;
The imaginations of their heart run riot.They mock and wickedly speak of oppression;
They speak from on high.
They have set their mouth against the heavens,
And their tongue ]parades through the earth.Psalm 73:1-9
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But little do they know that when God says “enough”, they will fall from grace with surprising speed.
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When I pondered to understand this,
It was troublesome in my sight
Until I came into the sanctuary of God;
Then I perceived their end.Surely You set them in slippery places;
You cast them down to destruction.
How they are destroyed in a moment!
They are utterly swept away by sudden terrors!Like a dream when one awakes,
O Lord, when aroused, You will despise their form.Psalm 73:16-20
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We see modern-day examples, but a prominent Biblical example of this sudden “fall from grace” iss Haman (book of Esther), a big-time narcissist. Haman had been given a position of highest prominence in the kingdom a year earlier, but used that position to orchestrate a national attack against God’s people. As a result he went from congratulating himself for Queen Esther’s invitation to a private banquet with the king, to being hung on the gallows in less than a week.
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God knows everything, is always aware, and always working in accordance with His purposes and ways. He is “opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” He always has the last say, in His way and in His timing.
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Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.
Galatians 6:7
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We may think N’s are getting away with it, but God says that in the end they will be humbled.
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Click here for initial steps to peace with God
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Narcissists (the secular term for scoffers or those with insolent pride) act to achieve their self-exalting, self-centered goals, but then aggressively avoid blame when called to account for their actions. The Pharisees provide a prominent case study. They stirred up the crowds against Jesus…..
.20 But the chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowds to ask for Barabbas and to put Jesus to death. But the governor said to them, “Which of the two do you want me to release for you?” And they said, “Barabbas.” Pilate *said to them, “Then what shall I do with Jesus who is called Christ?” They all *said, “Crucify Him!” And he said, “Why, what evil has He done?” But they kept shouting all the more, saying, “Crucify Him!”
When Pilate saw that he was accomplishing nothing, but rather that a riot was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd, saying, “I am innocent of this Man’s blood; see to that yourselves.” And all the people said, “His blood shall be on us and on our children!”
Matthew 27:20-25
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But when Peter and other apostles publicly shared the gospel, the religious leaders objected greatly to being accused of their complicity in the death of Jesus.
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27 When they had brought them [Peter and others], they stood them before the Council. The high priest questioned them, saying, “We gave you strict orders not to continue teaching in this name, and yet, you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and intend to bring this man’s blood upon us.”
Acts 5:27-28
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In the midst of our pain in dealing with the narcissist in our life, relevant Psalms are not only a source of insight and comfort into God’s ultimate dealing with them, but can at the same time be a great way to express what is in our heart. Just expressing what we are feeling in a way that is in sync with God’s perspective can itself be a source of comfort. Psalm 10 is one of those Psalms.
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Why do You stand afar off, O Lord?
Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?.
2 In pride the wicked hotly pursue the afflicted;
Let them be caught in the plots which they have devised..3 For the wicked boasts of his heart’s desire,
And the greedy man curses and spurns the Lord.
4 The wicked, in the haughtiness of his countenance, does not seek Him. All his thoughts are, “There is no God.”.
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