For many readers, The First Will Be Last was the book that finally put a name to what they were living with. Scripture calls it pride: self-exalting, insolent pride. Seeing it clearly is where healing begins.
But naming it is not the end of the road. Once you see the pattern, a harder question follows: what do I do now? For most people living close to a narcissist, part of the answer is boundaries. These are clear, honest limits on what you will accept and where you will stand.
This is where many Christians get stuck. We have been taught that love always says yes. So every refusal feels like failure, and the narcissist is quick to agree.
When Love Says No: A 30-Day Devotional Journey Through Biblical Boundaries was written for that place. It is one companion to The First Will Be Last, and it offers one biblical perspective on boundaries, drawn from the stories of Scripture:
- Nehemiah, who would not come down from his wall
- the Hebrew midwives, who told Pharaoh no
- David, who left the room when the spear hit the wall
- Jesus, who refused false claims and gave Himself fully to the true one
Each day takes about five minutes. It includes a passage (NASB 1995), a short reading, cross-references, three questions for reflection, and a prayer prompt.
Boundaries will not change a narcissist, and that is not their purpose. Their purpose is faithfulness: protecting what God has entrusted to you, without guilt and without revenge.
If you haven’t read The First Will Be Last, start there.
