Category Archives: Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism

When the Accuser Does the Same Things

October 29, 2026 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism Tags: , , ,

Projection and Narcissism, Part 1 of 6 — Romans 2:1

This six-part series moves from Scripture’s teaching to the lives of Ahab, David, and Saul. We will consider responsibility, honest self-examination, and accusations that must be tested against conduct.

“For you who judge practice the same things.” — Romans 2:1, NASB 1995

You bring up a lie. Suddenly, you are the dishonest one. You ask about controlling behavior. Suddenly, you are accused of trying to control everything.

The original question disappears. Now you are defending your character.

People living close to narcissistic patterns may recognize this reversal. But understanding what happened requires care. An accusation can be false without being projection.

What Paul Is Exposing

Romans 2 follows Paul’s account of human wickedness in Romans 1. He turns toward the person who condemns others while practicing the same things. Knowing how to identify another person’s sin does not place us beyond God’s judgment.

Paul is exposing hypocrisy and false confidence before God. He is not presenting a clinical definition of projection, and his warning reaches beyond people we might call narcissistic.

Psychological projection involves attributing one’s own unacceptable feelings, impulses, or qualities to someone else, often without recognizing them in oneself. Blame-shifting redirects responsibility for one’s conduct: “I only lied because you make honesty impossible.” The two can overlap, but they describe different things. Hypocrisy may be present even when neither can be established.

In a pattern of narcissistic self-exaltation, accusing someone else can protect a carefully guarded image. A person may condemn selfishness while demanding that everyone serve him. He may insist on honesty while rewriting what happened. We can identify that contradiction without claiming to know every motive behind it or assigning a personality-disorder diagnosis.

Stay With What Is True

If this happens to you, keep the issue specific. What was said? What was done? What responsibility remains unanswered?

Where conversation is safe and useful, you might say, “I will consider your concern. We still need to address the statement you made.” An accusation does not become true because it is forceful. Neither does calling it projection settle whether it contains anything you should examine.

God’s standard applies to both people. That does not mean both carry equal responsibility for what happened.

Paul goes on to speak of God’s kindness leading to repentance (Romans 2:4). That is the opening for each of us: stop defending the image, acknowledge the deed, and turn toward God.

Another person’s sin cannot excuse mine. My willingness to examine myself does not excuse theirs.

Cross-References

  • 2 Samuel 12:1–13 — David condemns wrongdoing before Nathan exposes his own.
  • Proverbs 28:13 — Confession and forsaking sin belong together.

Prayer Prompt

Lord, help me recognize false accusations without hiding from truthful correction. Give me courage to own my actions and wisdom to leave another person’s responsibility with them.

Projection and Narcissism: Next: Who Is Really Troubling Israel?.

The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Get the Book on Amazon
Learn More

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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Naming It Is the First Step. Boundaries Come Next.

October 8, 2026 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism, Books By DCRobertsson, Dealing With Narcissists
Naming It Is the First Step. Boundaries Come Next.

For many readers, The First Will Be Last was the book that finally put a name to what they were living with. Scripture calls it pride: self-exalting, insolent pride. Seeing it clearly is where healing begins.

But naming it is not the end of the road. Once you see the pattern, a harder question follows: what do I do now? For most people living close to a narcissist, part of the answer is boundaries. These are clear, honest limits on what you will accept and where you will stand.

This is where many Christians get stuck. We have been taught that love always says yes. So every refusal feels like failure, and the narcissist is quick to agree.

When Love Says No: A 30-Day Devotional Journey Through Biblical Boundaries was written for that place. It is one companion to The First Will Be Last, and it offers one biblical perspective on boundaries, drawn from the stories of Scripture:

  • Nehemiah, who would not come down from his wall
  • the Hebrew midwives, who told Pharaoh no
  • David, who left the room when the spear hit the wall
  • Jesus, who refused false claims and gave Himself fully to the true one

Each day takes about five minutes. It includes a passage (NASB 1995), a short reading, cross-references, three questions for reflection, and a prayer prompt.

Boundaries will not change a narcissist, and that is not their purpose. Their purpose is faithfulness: protecting what God has entrusted to you, without guilt and without revenge.

Get the paperback on Amazon →

If you haven’t read The First Will Be Last, start there.

When Love Says No - a 30-day devotional journey through biblical boundaries by D.C. Robertsson

If I Say No, Am I Failing to Love?

When Love Says No is a 30-day devotional journey through biblical boundaries, for believers in a hard relationship who want to love well without being controlled.

Get the Devotional on Amazon

For the full biblical study of narcissism, see The First Will Be Last.

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Hagar, and the God who sees

August 28, 2026 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism, Bible Case Studies

One of the cruelest features of dealing with a narcissist is how private it is.

In public, they are charming. Reasonable. Often well-liked. The damage happens where no one else is looking, and when you try to describe it, the words come out sounding small. He raises his voice sometimes. She rewrites what happened. People nod politely. Some of them wonder whether you are the difficult one.

That isolation is not incidental. It is part of how the thing works.

Hagar knew something of it. She was mistreated by Sarai and fled into the wilderness — pregnant, alone, and, from the outside, the one who had run off. No one followed her to hear her account of it.

But the angel of the Lord found her there and called her by name.

And she gave the Lord who spoke to her a name of her own:

“You are a God who sees.” (Genesis 16:13)

Notice what God did not do. He did not remove the situation. He sent her back to it. What He gave her, before anything else, was the knowledge that she had been seen — accurately, completely, without needing to prove her case.

That is not a small thing when you are the only witness to what is happening in your own home.

If this is where you are, I wrote a 30-day devotional on exactly this — The God Who Sees. It walks through the passages where God notices people no one else noticed. It will not fix your situation. It may help you carry it.

The God Who Sees book cover by D.C. Robertsson
Read The God Who Sees on Amazon

Grace and peace,
D.C. Robertsson

The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Get the Book on Amazon
Learn More

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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If I Say No, Am I Failing to Love? — Announcing “When Love Says No”

August 6, 2026 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism, Books By DCRobertsson, Dealing With Narcissists
If I Say No, Am I Failing to Love? — Announcing “When Love Says No”

If I say no, am I failing to love?

If you have lived close to narcissism, you have met this question at midnight. A request has been made — again. A pattern has repeated — again. And the moment you consider refusing, the accusation arrives, sometimes from the other person and sometimes from inside your own chest: a truly loving Christian wouldn’t say no.

Narcissistic relationships weaponize that question. Your conscience becomes the enforcement arm of someone else’s demands. And many of us, wanting sincerely to love like Jesus, have concluded that the only safe answer is to keep every door open, forever, at any cost.

But Scripture answers with a God who keeps doors. He set a limit in a perfect garden. He shut the ark behind Noah. He marked the doorposts in Egypt — and in His Son declared, “I am the door.” From beginning to end, the Bible reveals a God who loves boundlessly and draws lines — and who teaches His people to do the same without guilt and without cruelty.

A new 30-day journey: When Love Says No

When Love Says No: A 30-Day Devotional Journey Through Biblical Boundaries — book cover

I’m glad to announce the newest book in the 30-Day Journeys series: When Love Says No: A 30-Day Devotional Journey Through Biblical Boundaries.

Over thirty days, it walks you into the stories of Scripture: a builder who would not come down from his wall, two midwives who told a king no, a father who let the famine finish its work, and a Savior who refused a thousand false claims — then gave everything to the true one. Each day takes about five minutes: a Scripture passage (NASB 1995), a short reading, cross-references, three questions for reflection, and a prayer prompt.

Rather than tell you about it, let me give you a full day from the book — the one many readers of this site may need most.

Day 26 – The Spear in the Wall

“Now there was an evil spirit from the LORD on Saul as he was sitting in his house with his spear in his hand, and David was playing the harp with his hand. Saul tried to pin David to the wall with the spear, but he slipped away out of Saul’s presence, so that he stuck the spear into the wall. And David fled and escaped that night.”
— 1 Samuel 19:9–10

The spear was still quivering in the wall when David went out the door. He did not go back in to prove his loyalty.

He had done everything right—served in Saul’s house, soothed him with music, fought his wars, kept his oaths. And the spear came anyway. Not a hard conversation, not an unfair criticism: a weapon, thrown to kill, by the man he was serving. David slipped away, and fled, and did not return to his seat by the wall.

Scripture never scolds him for leaving. Heaven had no interest in David proving his devotion by remaining in range.

This is the day for naming a distinction that confusion makes deadly: ordinary relational conflict and credible danger are different categories, and they require different responses. Violence, threats, stalking, coercion, sexual force, weapons, patterns that put children at risk—these are not communication problems to be solved with one more vulnerable conversation. When the spear is in the wall, distance is not a failure of love. It is stewardship of a life God entrusted to you.

Watch how David carried it, because he carried it with both hands. With one hand, distance: he never again sat within spear-range of Saul, never returned to the household on the strength of Saul’s tearful better moments—and Saul had tearful better moments, twice weeping and blessing David after his life was spared (1 Samuel 24, 26). David heard the weeping. He kept the distance. With the other hand, restraint: twice holding Saul’s life in his grip and refusing to take it, honoring the office while staying out of reach of the man.

Distance without vengeance. Honor without access. Both hands, all the way to the end.

Two cautions keep the day honest. Danger can be exaggerated—disagreement, criticism, and refusal to give us what we want are not abuse, and inflated language destroys both reputations and the word’s meaning for those who need it. But uncertainty must not keep anyone in range of a spear: God does not require perfect proof before you step away from an arm already in motion. Reach safety first. Sort out the long questions from there, with counsel, facts, and rightful authority.

If the spear is in the wall where you sit—go. Tonight if need be, as David went.

The God who anointed him did not walk him back into the room. He walked with him out of it.

Cross-References

  • Proverbs 27:12 – “A prudent man sees evil and hides himself; the naive proceed and pay the penalty.”
  • Acts 9:23–25 – When a plot arose to kill Saul of Tarsus, “his disciples took him by night and let him down through an opening in the wall, lowering him in a large basket.”
  • Psalm 18:2 – “The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer… my stronghold.”

Questions for Reflection

  • Is what you are facing ordinary relational pain—or is there a spear in the wall? What evidence answers that honestly?
  • Where have you been tempted to prove love or faith by remaining in range?
  • If danger is credible, what is the immediate step toward safety—and who are the counselors and rightful authorities for the longer questions?

Prayer Prompt

Lord, You never asked David to stay in the room, and You never asked me to prove faith by remaining in reach of harm. Give me clear eyes about danger, courage to go, restraint from vengeance, and refuge in You.

Where to find the book

When Love Says No is available now on Amazon in Kindle and paperback:

If The First Will Be Last: A Biblical Perspective on Narcissism helped you name what you were facing, When Love Says No is the companion for what comes next: what to actually do at the door — how to love someone and still say no, without guilt and without revenge.

Love does not hold every door open. It keeps every door for God.

Your responsibility is faithfulness. The outcome belongs to God.

When Love Says No - a 30-day devotional journey through biblical boundaries by D.C. Robertsson

If I Say No, Am I Failing to Love?

When Love Says No is a 30-day devotional journey through biblical boundaries, for believers in a hard relationship who want to love well without being controlled.

Get the Devotional on Amazon

For the full biblical study of narcissism, see The First Will Be Last.

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Narcissism Is Not New

November 21, 2025 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism

Narcissism is not new.
Long before psychology gave it a name, Scripture described it with precision: “Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the LORD; be assured, he will not go unpunished.” (Proverbs 16:5)

The Bible calls narcissism what it truly is — insolent pride. It is more than arrogance or selfishness; it is a deep inner posture that resists dependence on God and elevates the self as the ultimate standard. From Lucifer’s rebellion to Pharaoh’s hardness of heart, the pattern is the same: self-worship, self-justification, and eventually, self-destruction.

Modern language tends to soften narcissism into a personality pattern, but Scripture exposes it as a spiritual condition. It is the natural bent of the human heart apart from grace — “They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator.” (Romans 1:25)

The proud heart does not simply want attention; it wants to be God-like without God. It refuses correction, deflects conviction, and blames others for the fallout of its own sin. And yet, even here, the mercy of God breaks through. The same God who opposes the proud also offers grace to the humble (James 4:6). His goal is not merely to expose pride but to redeem the person trapped in it.

In The First Will Be Last, I explored how God’s kingdom reverses the order of pride and humility. Narcissism exalts self and ends in ruin; humility surrenders self and ends in glory. God humbles the proud so that He may lift them up. This reversal is not punishment — it is redemption in motion.

When God allows the proud to fall, it is His severe mercy calling them to repentance. And when He raises up the humble, it is His gracious reward for hearts that have learned dependence.

So what is narcissism? It is the old lie of Eden, repackaged for every generation: “You will be like God.” (Genesis 3:5) And yet, through Christ, God offers a new way — to become like Christ instead. The path downward becomes the path upward. The cross becomes the cure for the disease of pride.

The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Get the Book on Amazon
Learn More

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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Welcome to Biblical Perspectives on Narcissism

November 14, 2025 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism

Welcome to Biblical Perspectives on Narcissism.
This blog began with one simple burden: to understand pride, self-exaltation, and relational destruction in light of God’s Word. Over time, it has grown into a deeper journey—one that traces how God diagnoses the problem of the proud heart and offers a path toward healing and humility.

The Bible has always spoken about what modern psychology calls narcissism. Scripture calls it insolent pride—a heart that refuses correction, seeks its own glory, and resists the gentle authority of God. From Pharaoh to the Pharisees, from Haman to Herod, pride has always been at the root of ruin. Yet in every generation, God continues to oppose the proud and give grace to the humble.

This blog is not about labeling people. It’s about learning God’s ways—how He humbles the proud, lifts up the lowly, and teaches His children to reflect His character rather than our own image. Each post explores a different angle of that truth—sometimes from Scripture, sometimes from life, and often from hard-won lessons in relationships where pride collides with grace.

The journey flows out of what I explored in The First Will Be Last: that God’s kingdom reverses everything we think we know about greatness. The proud rise only to fall. The humble fall only to rise. In that reversal, we see both the justice and the mercy of God at work.

Whether you are studying narcissism biblically, walking through a painful relationship, or confronting your own pride before God, my hope is that you find here both truth that convicts and grace that restores.

Get the book here More by DC Robertsson
The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Get the Book on Amazon
Learn More

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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When God Doesn’t Answer

May 30, 2025 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism


“How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me?” — Psalm 13:1


David doesn’t start this psalm with faith. He starts with frustration. He doesn’t begin by declaring God’s goodness—he questions it. Four times he says, “How long?” He feels forgotten. Abandoned. Unheard.

And he tells God about it.

Sometimes we think faith is silent endurance. But the Bible shows us something else. Real faith brings its pain to God. Real trust laments. David wasn’t punished for this prayer—he was recorded in Scripture for it.

God can handle your questions. He’s not threatened by your honesty. He doesn’t withdraw when you bring your raw emotion to Him—in fact, that’s when He often draws near.

David ends the psalm not in despair, but in trust: “But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.” He didn’t deny his pain. But he refused to let it define his view of God.

If God is silent, it does not mean He is absent. If He delays, it does not mean He doesn’t care. And if your prayers seem to bounce off the ceiling, remember—they are still heard. Sometimes, the deepest prayers are those we barely manage to utter. Sometimes, God’s answer begins with our surrender.

When God doesn’t answer, don’t stop praying. Don’t stop hoping. Don’t stop trusting.

Cross-References:

  • “I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry.” — Psalm 40:1

  • “Evening and morning and at noon, I will complain and murmur, and He will hear my voice.” — Psalm 55:17

  • “The righteous cry, and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.” — Psalm 34:17

Prayer Prompt:
Tell God exactly how you feel today—then choose to trust His heart.

📖 From the book: When God Is Silent: A 30-Day Devotional

The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Get the Book on Amazon
Learn More

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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How Jesus Dealt With Narcissists

May 21, 2025 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism, Dealing With Narcissists, Bible Case Studies

(Updated and Expanded)

Jesus dealt with narcissists often. He didn’t use the word “narcissist,” of course. He used clearer ones—hypocrite, blind guide, whitewashed tomb, fool. But He knew what kind of people He was dealing with.

He didn’t try to counsel them into humility. He didn’t enter long, therapeutic conversations. He didn’t chase after them to win them back. He exposed them. He rebuked them. And then He walked away.

If you’re dealing with narcissists in your own life, Jesus gives you a model.

1. He Recognized Their Pride and Called It What It Was

Jesus didn’t flinch from naming what He saw. He told the Pharisees:

“You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.”
— Luke 16:15

They looked spiritual, but they were driven by image. They sat in the best seats and prayed long prayers—not because they loved God, but because they loved how they looked.

Jesus saw through it. And He called it detestable.

2. He Confronted Them Directly—Not Indefinitely

Jesus didn’t stay quiet. He confronted the narcissistic leaders of His day again and again—with precision and clarity.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence.”
— Matthew 23:25

But He didn’t spend His whole ministry on them. He confronted them. Then He turned back to those who would listen.

He didn’t cast pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6). He exposed the proud—but He didn’t entrust Himself to them.

3. He Walked Away from the Unrepentant

In John 8, after confronting the Pharisees with truth, He eventually left the temple. In Luke 23, when Herod tried to bait Him, Jesus answered him nothing.

There comes a time to stop talking.

Jesus modeled a boundary not rooted in bitterness, but in discernment. He wasn’t afraid of conflict—but He never let narcissists dictate the terms.

4. He Focused on the Willing, Not the Proud

Jesus didn’t waste His ministry trying to change hardened hearts. He said:

“It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”
— Mark 2:17

Narcissists don’t believe they’re sick. So Jesus spent His time with the broken, the humble, the receptive.

He still does.

Takeaway: You Don’t Have to Fix the Narcissist

If you’re exhausted from trying to win over the narcissist in your life—stop. Follow Jesus’ example.

  • See them for who they are

  • Speak truth when needed

  • Don’t get caught in endless arguments

  • Let go and walk away when the Spirit leads

  • Focus on the ones God has actually called you to love and serve

Jesus never begged narcissists to understand Him. And you don’t need to either.

The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Get the Book on Amazon
Learn More

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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Pride Before a Fall – How God Humbles Narcissists

May 17, 2025 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism
 
“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling.” — Proverbs 16:18 It’s one of the most quoted verses in the Bible—because it’s one of the most visibly true. And yet, the narcissist never sees it coming. He believes he’s untouchable. He gathers power. He wins praise. He rises. The people around him may suffer, but his life keeps improving. So he concludes what proud people always conclude: God must be okay with it. Maybe even pleased. But pride is a snare. And God is never mocked.

The Trap Is Already Set

Narcissism—what the Bible calls insolent pride—always leads somewhere. The narcissist exalts himself through lies, manipulation, flattery, control, and intimidation. At first, it works. That’s part of the deception. The rise is real, but it is not permanent. God uses the narcissist’s own pride to engineer his downfall. Think of Absalom—charming, persuasive, beloved by the people. But it was his vanity that led him to rebellion and his long hair that caught him in the tree. He died hanging between heaven and earth—rejected by both. Think of Nebuchadnezzar—boasting from his palace rooftop, claiming glory for Babylon. God stripped him of reason and made him eat grass like cattle until he acknowledged who truly rules (Daniel 4:30–37). The narcissist’s rise only fuels his crash. The higher the pride, the harder the fall.

Why Does God Wait?

It’s tempting to ask why God lets the proud rise so high. Why not expose them sooner? But Scripture gives the answer.
“Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?” — Romans 2:4
God is not slow. He’s patient. He gives time to repent. He lets pride grow to fullness so that the fall is unmistakable. That’s why God told Edom:
“Though you build high like the eagle, though you set your nest among the stars, from there I will bring you down,” declares the Lord. — Obadiah 1:4
He is never unaware. He is never indifferent. He is simply working on a different timeline.

What Should You Do While You Wait?

If you’re under the influence of a narcissist, you know what it’s like to wait. You cry out for justice. You want relief. You want God to bring it down now. But the calling isn’t to bring them down. It’s to trust God until He does.
  • Wait quietly – “Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him… Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way.” (Psalm 37:7)
  • Guard your heart – Don’t retaliate in kind. Don’t become like them.
  • Stay faithful – “Never take your own revenge… overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:19–21)
When God humbles the proud, He does it right. And when He vindicates the humble, He does it fully.
The narcissist doesn’t believe Proverbs 16:18. But you should. God will bring them down. The question is not if. The question is when.
 
The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Get the Book on Amazon
Learn More

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

Share

Leave Room For GOD

August 31, 2024 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism
Here are some challenging words: .

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.  Respect what is right in the sight of all men.   If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. 

Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 2

 “But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. 

Romans 12:17-21

. Avoiding thoughts of “getting back” or “getting even” may be difficult for us when we have been wronged.  It is a very natural response.   But GOD says to never take our own revenge.  Why does He say that?  Because He’s “got it” and His solution will be far better than ours.  But how can we trust this to be so?  Consider this:
  • GOD is a completely unlimited and perfectly pure (i.e. – “holy”) supreme spiritual being
  • His limitlessness means that He sees and knows absolutely everything – He is everywhere at once and knows every thought and action.  He knows what happened to you, why the perpetrator did it, the consequences to you, how you are feeling – EVERYTHING
  • His perfect purity / holiness is the foundation of His unlimited goodness AND His justice.
  • Every violation of His pure nature – His righteousness – will have consequences.  He says in Galatians 6:7 – “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.”
  • GOD WILL repay those who have wronged us, but He will do it in His perfect wisdom and timing – and we may not see it.  (Of course, for those perpetrators with faith in Christ, their eternal security is secure – but GOD will still deal with them in the context of their redeemed state).
  • His handling the justice side of the equation frees us to emulate Him on the goodness side of the equation.
Of course, in dealing with those who have wronged us, wisdom is always appropriate.  But GOD has given us the framework – leave the justice to Him and focus our attention on the possibility of doing good. If we take justice into our own hands it sidetracks the entire process.   Find me on X @  https://x.com/DcRobertsson
The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Get the Book on Amazon
Learn More

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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An Update

August 29, 2024 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism
Greetings everyone. I have been absent from writing on this blog for quite awhile.  There are lots of reasons:
  1. Family needs (kids and parents)
  2. Working on other writing projects.  Which I will discuss soon.
  3. Working on missions projects
  4. Not having a clear view on where to go with this blog.
But in the last couple of months clarity on the right path forward has returned. So I am going to start blogging here again.   My initial focus is on two things:
  1. How Jesus handled the narcissists in His life (the Pharisees)
  2. How David handled and prayed through the situations with the three narcissists in his life – his brother, King Saul, and Absalom his son.
I will then turn those blog posts into corresponding books, as follow up I also want to write something on a biblical perspective on co-dependency (an issue for me in the past), but don’t have a clear idea yet on how to handle it. In addition I am working on one or more books how to truly trust GOD’s love, wisdom, power, and faithfulness.  This is a subject near and dear which I am diving deeply into. If you want to follow me on a slightly more personal level, I’ve launched on “X”.   You can find me at https://x.com/DcRobertsson Sorry for the absence, I hope what is to come will be helpful. Sincerely, David  
The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Get the Book on Amazon
Learn More

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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40 Ideas For Non-Monetary Christmas Gifts

December 20, 2022 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism
. My wife and I have a long-standing tradition of giving each other only “non-monetary” Christmas gifts.  Occasionally we break the rule but we want to put the focus on giving something that actually “costs us” something of ourselves.  I won’t share what we have done, but here is a list of ideas in case you’re looking for inspiration. .
  1. Write a heartfelt letter or poem expressing your love and appreciation for the recipient.
  2. Create a personalized playlist of songs that have special meaning to you and your relationship.
  3. Make a homemade meal or baked goods for the recipient.
  4. Create a custom piece of art or craft for the recipient.
  5. Plan a fun outing or activity to do together, such as a hike or a trip to a local attraction.
  6. Offer to do a chore or task for the recipient, such as cleaning their house or running errands for them.
  7. Give the gift of your time and attention by setting aside an entire day to spend together.
  8. Give the gift of relaxation by offering a massage or creating a DIY spa day.
  9. Create a memory jar filled with special trinkets and mementos that represent your relationship.
  10. Write and perform a song or skit for the recipient.
  11. Offer to help the recipient achieve a goal or learn a new skill, such as taking a dance lesson or starting a garden.
  12. Give the gift of relaxation by offering a home-cooked meal or a gift certificate to a restaurant.
  13. Plan a game night with a selection of the recipient’s favorite games.
  14. Offer to do a fun activity together, such as painting, cooking, or going to the movies.
  15. Give the gift of self-care by creating a basket with items like scented candles, bubble bath, and face masks.
  16. Plan a movie marathon with the recipient’s favorite films.
  17. Give the gift of organization by helping the recipient declutter and reorganize a space in their home.
  18. Offer to take the recipient on a scenic drive or to a nearby town for a day trip.
  19. Create a personalized photo album or frame featuring special memories and moments from your relationship.
  20. Offer to teach the recipient a new hobby or skill that you enjoy.
  21. Give the gift of relaxation by offering a yoga or meditation class.
  22. Plan a date night and make all the arrangements, such as reservations and transportation.
  23. Write a list of reasons why you appreciate and value the recipient.
  24. Give the gift of a handwritten recipe book filled with your favorite dishes.
  25. Plan a fun outdoor activity, such as a picnic or a walk in a local park.
  26. Give the gift of a home-cooked meal and offer to do the grocery shopping and cooking.
  27. Offer to take the recipient on a shopping spree and provide style advice.
  28. Give the gift of a personalized workout routine or training plan.
  29. Plan a weekend getaway to a nearby destination.
  30. Create a custom playlist of your favorite workout songs to help the recipient stay motivated.
  31. Give the gift of a personalized nutrition plan or recipe ideas.
  32. Offer to do the recipient’s laundry and fold it for them.
  33. Plan a fun adventure, such as a hot air balloon ride or skydiving.
  34. Give the gift of a customized playlist of your favorite relaxing music or guided meditations.
  35. Offer to do a home improvement project for the recipient.
  36. Plan a day of pampering, including a manicure, pedicure, and massage.
  37. Give the gift of a customized playlist of your favorite tunes for a specific activity, such as working or studying.
  38. Offer to do the recipient’s grocery shopping and meal prep for a week.
  39. Plan a movie night in with homemade popcorn and the recipient’s favorite films.
  40. Give the gift of a personalized sleep routine or bedtime ritual.
. Please pardon my lack of blogging.  I had some heavy preparation work for a seminar on “parenting adult children” and another on “suffering” recently, as well as working on several writing projects.  I am hoping to get back into a better routine in the near future. . In the meantime, rather than wishing a trite “Merry Christmas” I simply want to say that I hope that we all deeply remember and savor the clear demonstration of God’s deep love for us through sending Jesus’ into this wicked world in order to rescue us. . But also, enjoy the lights and merriment.
The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Get the Book on Amazon
Learn More

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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Narcissist* Case Studies – Satan’s Narcissistic Traits

November 13, 2022 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism, Narcissist Traits & Tactics, Bible Case Studies Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

.

Satan is the original and most clear example of a Narcissist / One with insolent pride.   (See here for an explanation on why Satan was the original narcissist).  By understanding Satan’s insolent pride and his narcissistic traits, we can get another glimpse into the characteristics of narcissists.  Here is a partial list of Satan’s narcissistic traits:

. Continue reading →

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A Response To Those Who Say God Can’t Or Won’t Help You

November 9, 2022 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism
. The challenge for those dealing with a narcissist who is “close” is to deal with the situation in a practical way while also walking in faith.  How do we allow God right into the middle of the situation?  On top of this, we are frequently told some form of “God can’t or won’t help you” – urging us to take things into our hands to solve it on our own apart from God. David was in the same situation.   His son Absalom was a narcissist whom God raised up to chastise David for his sin with Bathsheba. David was forced to flee for his life.  In the process, many said that God would not deliver him from the adversaries that were coming at him.  But David had a different view, which he declared in Psalm 3.  

A Psalm of David, when he fled from Absalom his son.

3 O Lord, how my adversaries have increased! Many are rising up against me. 2 Many are saying of my soul, “There is no deliverance for him in God.” Selah.

3 But You, O Lord, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head. 4 I was crying to the Lord with my voice, And He answered me from His holy mountain. Selah. I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the Lord sustains me. 6 I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people Who have set themselves against me round about.

7 Arise, O Lord; save me, O my God! For You have smitten all my enemies on the cheek; You have shattered the teeth of the wicked. 8 Salvation belongs to the Lord; Your blessing be upon Your people! Selah. 

Psalm 3

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David cried out to the Lord and then trusted God for help, allowing him to sleep peacefully even before the deliverance came.  David did not succumb to other’s lack of faith, and in the end God executed judgment on Absalom and rescued David. . . See here for initial steps on how to know God personally .
 
The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Get the Book on Amazon
Learn More

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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A Great Reminder

October 20, 2022 By in Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism
I recently came across the following phrase which is a great reminder: .
“When David faced Goliath, he didn’t talk about how dangerous Goliath was.  He talked about how great God is.  Don’t talk fear, talk faith.”
. And I might add, especially talk faith to yourself. . . See here for initial steps on how to know God personally  
The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Get the Book on Amazon
Learn More

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

Share