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People who have dealt extensively with narcissists will often feel “beat up” by the narcissist – sometimes without understanding how or why they feel that way. This is because a narcissist frequently uses coercive behavior in order to get what they want in a specific situation, or to achieve or maintain a position of dominance over someone. Sometimes this bullying is overt (think playground bully) sometimes covert (manipulative, demeaning comments).
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From Dictionary.com – a bully is
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a blustering, mean, or predatory person who, from a perceived position of relative power, intimidates, abuses, harasses, or coerces people, especially those considered unlikely to defend themselves:
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The Pharisees – prime examples of insolent proud narcissists in the Bible – exemplified this. They tried to squelch anything and anyone supportive of Jesus by using their power to expel them from the synagogue – shaming and possibly even economically damaging that person. This was illustrated in John 9’s description of their response to Jesus healing a man blind from birth.
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The Jews then did not believe it of him, that he had been blind and had received sight, until they called the parents of the very one who had received his sight, and questioned them, saying, “Is this your son, who you say was born blind? Then how does he now see?” His parents answered them and said, “We know that this is our son, and that he was born blind; but how he now sees, we do not know; or who opened his eyes, we do not know..Ask him; he is of age, he will speak for himself.” His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jews; for the Jews had already agreed that if anyone confessed Him to be Christ, he was to be put out of the synagogue. For this reason his parents said, “He is of age; ask him.”.John 9:18-23.
The Pharisees’ bully tactics succeeded in silencing the (likely inwardly joyous) parents of the man whose blindness Jesus healed.
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The Pharisees then turned to the man whom Jesus had healed. Unlike his parents, his glorious healing was far more important to him than any threat from the Pharisees. He could not help but glorify God even in the face of the Pharisees’ threats – and he paid the price at the hands of the Pharisees.
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So a second time they called the man who had been blind, and said to him, “Give glory to God; we know that this man is a sinner.” He then answered, “Whether He is a sinner, I do not know; one thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see.” So they said to him, “What did He do to you? How did He open your eyes?”.He answered them, “I told you already and you did not listen; why do you want to hear it again? You do not want to become His disciples too, do you?” They reviled him and said, “You are His disciple, but we are disciples of Moses. We know that God has spoken to Moses, but as for this man, we do not know where He is from.”John 9:24-29.
Not only did the man healed from blindness give the credit to Jesus, but he then explained to the Pharisees that healing from blindness could only come from God. The prideful Pharisees could not take it.
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The man answered and said to them, “Well, here is an amazing thing, that you do not know where He is from, and yet He opened my eyes. We know that God does not hear sinners; but if anyone is God-fearing and does His will, He hears him. Since the beginning of time it has never been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a person born blind. If this man were not from God, He could do nothing.”.They answered him, “You were born entirely in sins, and are you teaching us?” So they put him out.John 9:30-34
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As typical of narcissistic bullies, the Pharisees were not content until opposition was squelched.
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Jesus could have left things as they were. He had already done the important work of healing the man’s blindness. But He showed the compassion of His full mission by coming back to the man after being expelled from the synagogue:
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Jesus heard that they had put him out, and finding him, He said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?” He answered, “Who is He, Lord, that I may believe in Him?” Jesus said to him, “You have both seen Him, and He is the one who is talking with you.” And he said, “Lord, I believe.” And he worshiped Him..And Jesus said, “For judgment I came into this world, so that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may become blind.” Those of the Pharisees who were with Him heard these things and said to Him, “We are not blind too, are we?” Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would have no sin; but since you say, ‘We see,’ your sin remains.John 9:35-40
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Jesus’ focus in coming back was not to plead with the Pharisees to “take him back” into the synagogue, but to ensure that not only the man’s physical but also spiritual blindness was healed. In the process He gave a warning to the Pharisees about their spiritual blindness. The Pharisees might have thought they are succeeding in controlling the narrative through their bully tactics, but in the end would pay a very heavy price.
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