Narcissist* v. Narcissist* – A Pure Power Play

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Many of the posts in this blog are about how narcissists (scoffers, haughty, those with insolent pride) relate to non-narcissists, whom they manipulate and push around in order to achieve their “rightful” place of superiority and/or dominance.  But what happens when narcissists come up against each other?

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The following can take place:

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#1 – Initially they play a game of flattery with each other.  At this point, they’re not really engaging in a contest for dominance, although in the middle of their flattery each narcissist is likely dropping hints to the other narcissist about their “greatness”.  Even though each N may know that the flattery is fake and a possible trap, they accept it because it appeals to their pride.

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Psalm 12:2-4 –

They speak falsehood to one another; With flattering lips and with a double heart they speak.  May the Lord cut off all flattering lips, The tongue that speaks great things; Who have said, “With our tongue we will prevail; Our lips are our own; who is lord over us?”

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Proverbs 29:5

A man who flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his steps.

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Proverbs 26:28
A lying tongue hates those it crushes, and a flattering mouth works ruin.
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The narcs are (most likely) knowingly allowing themselves to be baited, probably thinking they are smart enough to escape any consequences.
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#2 – They may attempt to use their standard tactics, but this is not likely to succeed since they both know the game each other is playing.  Therefore, since their normal schemes won’t work to gain an advantage, they may either

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A – Avoid each other, and avoid an outright conflict – based on both N’s not seeing much value in winning that particular power play (see below) vs. the effort required.  In other words, their greatness means they have bigger fish to fry, and this “little” skirmish is not worth bothering with

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OR

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B – Engage in a pure power play.  In this case both of the N’s feel compelled that their position is inherently right either based on the merits or their personal “worthiness”.   Therefore, in their mind and heart it is correct and right for them to prevail.

As it is right for them to win/achieve dominance, they are unwilling to cede any ground to anyone.  And, since to a narcissist anything goes in the pursuit of their superiority, its a fight with no “rules” .   A pure power play means a fight until one of the two N’s comes out victorious.  It could be a simple fight where the N with the strongest position easily prevails and vanquishes his opponent, or it could be a protracted contest of equal power that focuses on tactics and manipulations.

There may be a lot of collateral damage in the fight (others getting hurt in the process), but true narcissists absolutely do not care about that.  The only thing that counts is their winning.  If you see two N’s in a fight, get out of the way so that you do not become part of the collateral damage.

You’ve heard of “power politics” – it’s one example of a pure power play.

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Even though we need to understand scoffers and their tactics, we are not to be like them

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Matthew 10:16 –
“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.
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God has a different way of dealing with N’s than merely engage in a human vs human power play.  God in the equation changes everything.    We dig deeper into this in the book, “The First Will Be Last:  A Biblical Perspective On Narcissism”.
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