Dealing With Bullies

. In our previous post we discussed how insolently proud, narcissistic bullies will use a position of power to coerce compliance on the part of others through bullying tactics.ย  Sadly, until Jesus returns to set everything right, this will be part of the world we must navigate. . How do we deal with the bullies that inevitably cross our paths?ย  Here are options we have:
  1. Avoid them – bullies may have the upper hand on their turf, but who says we have to stay on their turf and play their game?
  2. Try a power play – sometimes we’re in a position to “fight back”
  3. Get our “big brother” – sometimes we can recruit someone stronger (the image of bringing your big brother to the playground) to defend us
. I had a friend tell me the story of his children bullied on the school bus on the way to school.ย  One morning he got on the bus and told the bullies “This is going to end.ย  The only question is how much pain you are going to take before you stop, because I will do whatever it takes until you stop”.ย  In the face of what the bullies knew was an unwinnable battle, they stopped their bullying. . What if none of the above three options are available to us?ย  We can take a bigger view of the situation and invite God to be our defender and protector.

Theย Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.ย 

Psalm 18:2

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He is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and he in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.ย 

Psalm 144:2

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The name of theย Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.ย 

Proverbs 18:10

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I will say to the Lord, โ€œMy refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.โ€ย 

Psalm 91:2

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He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.ย 

Psalm 62:2

. Psalm 94 addresses this perfectly.ย  I encourage you to read it in its entirety. .

O Lord, God of vengeance,

God of vengeance, shine forth! 2ย Rise up, Oย Judge of the earth, Render recompenseย to the proud. 3ย How long shall the wicked, Oย Lord, How long shall theย wicked exult? 4ย They pour forthย words, theyย speak arrogantly; All who do wickednessย vaunt themselves. 5ย Theyย crush Your people, Oย Lord, Andย afflict Your heritage.

6ย They slay the widow and theย stranger And murder the orphans. 7ย They have said, โ€œTheย Lordย does not see, Nor does the God of Jacob pay heed.โ€

8ย Pay heed, youย senseless among the people; And when will you understand,ย stupid ones? 9ย He who planted the ear,ย does He not hear? He who formed the eye, does He not see? 10ย He who chastens the nations, will He not rebuke, Evenย He whoย teaches man knowledge? 11ย Theย Lordย knows the thoughts of man, [i]That they are aย mereย breath.

12ย Blessed is the man whom You chasten, Oย Lord, Andย whom You teach out of Your law; 13ย That You may grant himย relief from theย days of adversity, Untilย a pit is dug for the wicked. 14ย Forย theย Lordย will not abandon His people, Nor will Heย forsake His inheritance. 15ย For judgment will again be righteous, And all the upright in heart will follow it. 16ย Who willย stand up for me against evildoers? Who will take his stand for meย against those who do wickedness?

17ย Ifย theย Lordย had not been my help, My soul would soon have dwelt inย the abode ofย silence. 18ย If I should say, โ€œMy foot has slipped,โ€ Your lovingkindness, Oย Lord, will hold me up. 19ย When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Yourย consolations delight my soul. 20ย Can a throne of destruction be allied with You, One which devisesย mischief by decree? 21ย They band themselves together against the life of the righteous And condemnย the innocent to death. 22ย But theย Lordย has been myย stronghold, And my God theย rock of my refuge. 23ย He hasย brought back their wickedness upon them And will destroy them in their evil; Theย Lord our God willย destroy them.ย 

Psalm 94

. We can know for 3 things for certain:
      • God sees what the bully is doing
      • God is far stronger than the bully
      • He cares about us
. We always want a 1 on 1 power play that is obvious to all.ย  God can and has done that – the Israelites exodus from Egypt is a prime example – an obvious power play.ย ย But He may work in other ways, seemingly less visible and less obviously direct.ย  In His infinite wisdom He may deal with our bully in a way that does not obviously make us “the winner”, but He is nonetheless working.ย  We may not even know until eternity how He dealt with them – but He will. . Click here for initial steps on how to know God personally
The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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