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23 Thus says the Lord, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; 24 but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the Lord.
Jeremiah 9:23-24
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9 For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His……..”
2 Chronicles 16:9
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Narcissists* are driven to set themselves up in a position of power over us in some form. By extension, they seek to put us in a position of weakness versus them. Our natural response is to resist, and to somehow defend ourselves against them. This ultimately makes it a power play between us and the narcissist, even if it is of the passive-aggressive variety. The unappealing alternative to resisting is to become a doormat of the narcissist, and allow them to damage us as they run roughshod over us.
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God’s way is for us to be powerless in our own strength, but to then let Him take on the narcissist with His power. This allows us to be humble and learn trust, while He more fully shows His power, love, and goodness through protecting us. In this way, “He gets the glory, and we get the help”.
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Yes, we are to take wise action vis a vis our narcissist, when appropriate. And there may be a time to win a power play against them, especially in defending someone who is powerless.. But, there are times when God allows us to be in a position when the only solution is the one that only He can directly provide.
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The interesting thing is that our willing weakness in not defending ourselves gets us a “two-fer”, resulting in a second portion of His power – His power working inside us to give us the internal strength to move ahead without being damaged. Allowing ourselves to be humbled through our weakness results in His power working inside us through His grace.
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9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
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6 But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 7 Submit therefore to God…….
James 4:6-7
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God wants to show Himself strong on our behalf both externally against the narcissist, and internally by providing His grace and internal strength.
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32 And what more shall I say? For time will fail me if I tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets, 33 who by faith conquered kingdoms, performed acts of righteousness, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions, 34 quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, from weakness were made strong, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight.
Hebrews 11:32-34
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God showing His strength through our weakness also provides a much better testimony to our proud tormentor than our showing our own strength would provide. It shows God’s reality of His supremacy and sufficiency to the proud, in contrast to their self-exaltation and self-sufficiency. In one sense, our weakness is the stage on which God can more fully demonstrate Himself to everyone, and especially to the proud evildoers working against us.
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You may feel weak in the face of your narcissist, tempted to resist their attempts to lord it over you. Go ahead and be weak – it’s a good thing. But don’t stop there. Trust God to show Himself strong on your behalf in dealing with the N in your life, and in giving you the grace to be internally strong.
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Click here for initial steps on how to know God personally
- Narcissism is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” – see here
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Putting “Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism” Into Perspective