Narcissists Complain Alot

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If you notice, Narcissists [aka those with insolent pride], tend to complain – a lot.   The Bible of course speaks to this.

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Both the Pharisees and the scribes* began to grumble , saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.   Luke 15:2

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When they [Pharisees*] saw it, they all began to grumble, saying, “He has gone to be the guest of a man who is a sinner.”   Luke 19:7

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These are grumblers, finding fault, following after their own lusts; they speak arrogantly, flattering people for the sake of gaining an advantage.    Jude 1:16

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The Greek word for grumble is diagoggýzō , which means constantly, intensely murmuring (grumble, complain). It is an intensified form of goggýzō (“murmur”) to convey “heavy complaining,”.  Narcissists don’t just complain, they really gripe when things do not suit them.  Of course, this is consistent with their insolent pride, which believes that life’s events must conform to their wishes or views, and when they don’t somebody – or everybody – is going to hear about it.   This is a narcissistic trait, but it can also be one of their tactics – their loud complaints is an indirect way to force  others to comply with their wishes.

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*The Pharisees were classic narcissists – see here as a starting point.

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Narcissist Tactics – Flattery

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Jude 16-19

16 These are grumblers, finding fault, following after their own lusts; they speak arrogantly, flattering people for the sake of gaining an advantage.

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 17 But you, beloved, ought to remember the words that were spoken beforehand by the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ, 18 that they were saying to you, “In the last time there will be mockers, following after their own ungodly lusts.” 19 These are the ones who cause divisions…..

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Narcissists are big flatterers.  Many times it is obvious that they have something they are trying to get out of you through flattery and “buttering you up”, but sometimes it may not be so obvious.  Or they may be setting you up through flattery for something even worse than just trying to get something from you.  Either way, they they are using flattery in order to gain some kind of advantage over you in the pursuit of their desires, self-exaltation, or just plain winning.  They are doing it to entrap you into something that will hurt you and benefit them.  This flattery is not sincere, but instead is deceptive and manipulative – and the wise person will recognize it, see that it manipulative and NOT sincere praise), and avoid it.

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Romans 16:17-18

17 Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them. 18 For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting.

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Proverbs 29:5

A man who flatters his neighbor
Is spreading a net for his steps.

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Proverbs 26:28

28 A lying tongue hates those it crushes,
And a flattering mouth works ruin.

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Psalm 5:9

There is nothing reliable in what they say;
Their inward part is destruction itself.
Their throat is an open grave;
They flatter with their tongue.

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Psalm 12:2

They speak falsehood to one another;
With flattering lips and with a double heart they speak.

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