Why Do Narcissists Have Addictive Personalities?

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Consider this blog post as “thinking out loud” about something.  It is not intended to be definitive, but simply the start of working through a subject.

Conventional wisdom holds that narcissists tend toward addictive personalities.  I have no reason to dispute it, and have seen traces in my own life in the past – a sample size of one.  However, assuming this is true, what could be the cause?

Here are some overlapping possibiilties:

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  • ONE – they forfeit God-given grace.

James says,

But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 

James 4:6

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A working definition I use for grace is “God gives us what we need (in abundance), when we need it”.  The big example of course is salvation by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9) – something we all desperately need.  But grace can include many other things, ranging from the “common grace” of sunshine to the grace to live properly – God giving us the desire and the power to do the right thing.  Paul describes that in Philippians.

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So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to desire and to work for His good pleasure. 

Philippians 4:12-13

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If we are proud and determined that our way is best, God says, “OK, go ahead, do it your way.  But you’re on your own for this one”.  In doing this we reject His help, His grace, forfeiting the desire and power from His hand to rise above sinful practices, and increasing the likelihood of sinking into destructive patterns.

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  • TWOthey are naive and think that consequences are for someone else

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Narcissists are smart and very clever, but lack good judgment – a popular phrase is that they know the price of everything but the value of nothing.  This lack of good judgment results in not clearly anticipating the full consequences of their actions.  Proverbs says,

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A prudent person sees evil and hides himself, But the naive proceed, and pay the penalty.
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Proverbs 22:3, 27:12
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This lack of prudent caution means they have no solid boundaries, resulting in leaping before looking, jumping into things.  They will look at something that could lead to addiction – let’s say alcohol or gambling – and assume that outcome won’t happen to them.
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  • THREE – opening themselves to the wrong side

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This one is going to be a bit more difficult, but let’s try.

Spiritual warfare is real.  In Paul’s famous statement on the armor of God he explained that the real battle is in the spiritual realm, not the earthly realm.

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Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 

Ephesians 6:10-12

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There is no neutral territory in the spiritual world.   Jesus said

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The one who is not with Me is against Me; and the one who does not gather with Me scatters. 

Matthew 12:30

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This goes deeper than you may think.  When King Saul disobeyed God, the prophet Samuel told him.

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For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king. 

I Samuel 15:23 (KJV)

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This is the flip side of point number one.  When someone says to God “my way is best, I don’t need you”, they are proud, but proudly rebellious.  So, not only do they forfeit God’s grace, but they open themselves up to “the other side”.

Witchcraft is inviting the influence of Satan, the most wicked taskmaster possible, into your  life.  Samuel said that rebellion is “like” witchcraft.  There is no neutral territory in the spiritual world – if we rebel against God we implicitly choose the other side, giving Satan a much stronger foothold.  Since Satan is out to destroy us, he (and his demons) will use their greater influence to ensnare us in whatever way they can.

(This is a much deeper subject than we can discuss here – I can recommend the book “Spiritual Warfare” by Karl Payne for those who want to dig deeper.)

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The antidote is to have a full view of God and who He is – His unlimited knowledge, wisdom, power, holiness, and love – and to yield (humbling ourselves) to Him – resulting in an abundance of His grace.  If we are trapped in a pattern as a result of our proud rebellion, we also need to confess our sins (I John 1:9) – not only for His forgiveness but as also part of the humbling process which results in greater grace.  He is then able to reclaim ground that we have yielded to the opposing kingdom (see Karl Payne’s book).

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As I said at the beginning, view this as simply food for thought and a starting point for further exploration.

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Click here for initial steps on how to know God personally

 

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