The Sin David Could See in Someone Else

Projection and Narcissism, Part 4 of 6 โ€” David and Nathan

โ€œYou are the man!โ€ โ€” 2 Samuel 12:7, NASB 1995

David could see the injustice immediately.

A rich man with plenty had taken a poor manโ€™s only lamb. The powerful had used the vulnerable to satisfy his own desire. Davidโ€™s anger rose. Such a man deserved judgment.

Then Nathan turned the story toward the king.

Clear Judgment, Until It Came Home

In 2 Samuel 11, David had taken Bathsheba and arranged for her husband Uriah to be killed. In chapter 12, Nathanโ€™s account of the lamb brings the kingโ€™s own abuse of power into view.

Davidโ€™s judgment of the rich man reveals that he can recognize a wrong he has failed to face in himself. Nathan identifies David as the man and names what he has done.

The preceding post considered Jesusโ€™ warning about the log in our own eye (Matthew 7:3โ€“5). Davidโ€™s encounter with Nathan gives that warning a searching illustration. We may speak confidently about justice while refusing to examine how we have treated someone entrusted to our care.

Be Careful With the Word Projection

Davidโ€™s reaction is sometimes described as projection. There is a resemblance between condemning anotherโ€™s wrongdoing and remaining blind to oneโ€™s own. But Nathan deliberately presents the wrongdoing through a story. David is responding to conduct Nathan describes.

The text does not establish that David unconsciously attributed his own impulses to someone else. The clearer lesson concerns moral blindness, self-exemption, and the exposure of sin. Nor should we turn this episode into a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder.

It does show behavior that matters in discussions of narcissism: taking what one wants, using power against others, and arranging circumstances to conceal the wrong. Scripture names those deeds without minimizing their cost.

The Response to Exposure Matters

David acknowledges that he has sinned against the Lord (2 Samuel 12:13). That response gives this case a different direction from persistent blame-shifting. The accusation is no longer pushed outward.

Confession does not undo Uriahโ€™s death or erase the harm to Bathsheba. The chapter also records consequences. Forgiveness cannot be used to demand that injured people forget what happened, restore access immediately, or pretend trust has already returned.

For someone confronting another personโ€™s wrongdoing, this passage offers no promise that the right story will produce repentance. Nathan was sent by God. You are not responsible for finding a perfect sentence that finally changes someone.

For each of us, it raises a necessary question: when truth reaches my own door, will I receive it?

We can ask God to expose our sin while continuing to name real harm done by others. Honest self-examination does not require equal blame for unequal conduct.

Cross-References

  • Matthew 7:3โ€“5 โ€” Begin with what obstructs your own sight.
  • Psalm 51:1โ€“4, 10โ€“12 โ€” Davidโ€™s prayer turns toward mercy and a clean heart.

Prayer Prompt

Lord, make me willing to hear truth when it exposes me. Help me confess without excuses and respect the work needed to repair what can be repaired.


Projection and Narcissism: Previous: The Log in Our Own Eye. Next: When a Corrupt Heart Suspects Corruption Everywhere.



The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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Who Is Really Troubling Israel?

Projection and Narcissism, Part 2 of 6 โ€” Ahab and Elijah

โ€œIs this you, you troubler of Israel?โ€ โ€” 1 Kings 18:17, NASB 1995

You finally speak about what is wrong. The response comes quickly: you are causing trouble.

The lie was manageable until you named it. The demands were acceptable until you questioned them. Now the person asking for honesty becomes the problem everyone is expected to address.

Ahabโ€™s meeting with Elijah gives us a biblical example of responsibility turned outward.

The King Blames the Messenger

Israel was suffering through drought. Elijah had announced it at the Lordโ€™s word (1 Kings 17:1). When Ahab met him, the king called him the troubler of Israel.

Elijah answered by identifying Ahabโ€™s abandonment of the Lordโ€™s commands and pursuit of the Baals (1 Kings 18:18). The prophetโ€™s announcement had not made the kingโ€™s disobedience innocent.

The opening post in this series considered Romans 2:1: condemning someone else does not exempt us from Godโ€™s judgment. Ahab illustrates a related refusal of responsibility. The person who should face his own conduct directs the accusation toward the person confronting it.

Blame-Shifting Is Clearer Than a Diagnosis

Psychological projection involves attributing oneโ€™s own unacceptable feelings, impulses, or qualities to another person. Ahabโ€™s accusation resembles that reversal: he calls Elijah the source of trouble while Elijah identifies the kingโ€™s disobedience.

But this passage does not tell us whether Ahab unconsciously attributed his own qualities to Elijah. Blame-shifting is the clearer description of what we can observe. He assigns responsibility away from himself.

That pattern can appear in narcissistic relationships when protecting an image becomes more important than facing wrongdoing. A complaint about deception becomes an attack on your loyalty. A request for accountability becomes evidence that you are divisive.

The biblical account exposes conduct. It does not give us a clinical diagnosis of Ahab, or permission to diagnose everyone who resists correction.

Name the Conduct Without Taking the Bait

Elijah keeps his answer tied to the issue. He does not accept Ahabโ€™s accusation as the starting point for deciding who is guilty.

We can learn from that clarity without assuming that we possess a prophetโ€™s authority. Test your concern against Scripture and facts. Seek counsel that can challenge your interpretation as well as hear your pain.

If the concern remains sound, another personโ€™s displeasure does not erase it. Where conversation is safe, you can say, โ€œWe need to address what happened. Calling me difficult does not answer that concern.โ€

You are responsible for speaking truthfully and wisely. You cannot make someone accept responsibility by explaining forever.

And if correction comes to you, resist Ahabโ€™s response. Ask whether the person you resent is naming something you need to face.

Cross-References

  • Romans 2:1โ€“4 โ€” Accusation does not replace repentance.
  • Proverbs 15:31โ€“32 โ€” Receiving correction belongs to the pursuit of wisdom.

Prayer Prompt

Lord, give me courage to face what is wrong, humility to receive correction, and wisdom when truthful words are answered with blame.


Projection and Narcissism: Previous: When the Accuser Does the Same Things. Next: The Log in Our Own Eye.



The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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Hagar, and the God who sees

One of the cruelest features of dealing with a narcissist is how private it is.

In public, they are charming. Reasonable. Often well-liked. The damage happens where no one else is looking, and when you try to describe it, the words come out sounding small. He raises his voice sometimes. She rewrites what happened. People nod politely. Some of them wonder whether you are the difficult one.

That isolation is not incidental. It is part of how the thing works.

Hagar knew something of it. She was mistreated by Sarai and fled into the wilderness โ€” pregnant, alone, and, from the outside, the one who had run off. No one followed her to hear her account of it.

But the angel of the Lord found her there and called her by name.

And she gave the Lord who spoke to her a name of her own:

โ€œYou are a God who sees.โ€ (Genesis 16:13)

Notice what God did not do. He did not remove the situation. He sent her back to it. What He gave her, before anything else, was the knowledge that she had been seen โ€” accurately, completely, without needing to prove her case.

That is not a small thing when you are the only witness to what is happening in your own home.


If this is where you are, I wrote a 30-day devotional on exactly this โ€” The God Who Sees. It walks through the passages where God notices people no one else noticed. It will not fix your situation. It may help you carry it.

The God Who Sees book cover by D.C. Robertsson

Grace and peace,
D.C. Robertsson


The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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How Jesus Dealt With Narcissists

(Updated and Expanded)

Jesus dealt with narcissists often. He didnโ€™t use the word โ€œnarcissist,โ€ of course. He used clearer onesโ€”hypocrite, blind guide, whitewashed tomb, fool. But He knew what kind of people He was dealing with.

He didnโ€™t try to counsel them into humility. He didnโ€™t enter long, therapeutic conversations. He didnโ€™t chase after them to win them back. He exposed them. He rebuked them. And then He walked away.

If you’re dealing with narcissists in your own life, Jesus gives you a model.


1. He Recognized Their Pride and Called It What It Was

Jesus didnโ€™t flinch from naming what He saw. He told the Pharisees:

โ€œYou are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.โ€
โ€” Luke 16:15

They looked spiritual, but they were driven by image. They sat in the best seats and prayed long prayersโ€”not because they loved God, but because they loved how they looked.

Jesus saw through it. And He called it detestable.


2. He Confronted Them Directlyโ€”Not Indefinitely

Jesus didnโ€™t stay quiet. He confronted the narcissistic leaders of His day again and againโ€”with precision and clarity.

โ€œWoe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence.โ€
โ€” Matthew 23:25

But He didnโ€™t spend His whole ministry on them. He confronted them. Then He turned back to those who would listen.

He didnโ€™t cast pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6). He exposed the proudโ€”but He didnโ€™t entrust Himself to them.


3. He Walked Away from the Unrepentant

In John 8, after confronting the Pharisees with truth, He eventually left the temple. In Luke 23, when Herod tried to bait Him, Jesus answered him nothing.

There comes a time to stop talking.

Jesus modeled a boundary not rooted in bitterness, but in discernment. He wasnโ€™t afraid of conflictโ€”but He never let narcissists dictate the terms.


4. He Focused on the Willing, Not the Proud

Jesus didnโ€™t waste His ministry trying to change hardened hearts. He said:

โ€œIt is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.โ€
โ€” Mark 2:17

Narcissists donโ€™t believe theyโ€™re sick. So Jesus spent His time with the broken, the humble, the receptive.

He still does.


Takeaway: You Donโ€™t Have to Fix the Narcissist

If you’re exhausted from trying to win over the narcissist in your lifeโ€”stop. Follow Jesusโ€™ example.

  • See them for who they are

  • Speak truth when needed

  • Donโ€™t get caught in endless arguments

  • Let go and walk away when the Spirit leads

  • Focus on the ones God has actually called you to love and serve

Jesus never begged narcissists to understand Him. And you donโ€™t need to either.


The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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Psalm 3 – David’s Prayer When Fleeing From His Narcissist Son Absalom

Psalm 3 is traditionally attributed to King David, written during one of the most tumultuous periods of his lifeโ€”his flight from his son Absalom, who led a rebellion against him (2 Samuel 15-18).ย  ย We discussed in previous blog posts how David’s son Absalom was a narcissist raised up by GOD as discipline to David for his adultery with Bathsheba and the killing of her husband Uriah. Even though David was complicit in creating his difficulty, he still had to deal with a narcissist – one from his own family – who was trying to bring him down and destroy him.ย  He did not simply say, “I caused it, I will just let it happen”.ย  He brought GOD right into the middle of it, and this prayer was part of that process. David’s situation was dire: he was betrayed by trusted advisors, abandoned by followers, and forced to flee Jerusalem. This psalm reflects his deep distress, personal vulnerability, and unwavering trust in God despite overwhelming circumstances.
Verses 1-2: A Cry of Distress David begins by acknowledging his desperate situation. He laments the growing number of enemies rising against him, emphasizing that many people are saying he has no hope in God’s deliverance:

โ€œO Lord, how my adversaries have increased! Many are rising up against me. Many are saying of my soul, โ€˜There is no deliverance for him in God.โ€™โ€ (vv. 1-2)

Verses 3-4: Confidence in God’s Protection Despite his predicament, David expresses confidence in God’s protection. He declares that God is his shield, source of glory, and the one who lifts his head in honor. David recalls crying out to the Lord and receiving an answer from His holy mountain, symbolizing God’s sovereign presence:

โ€œBut You, O Lord, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head. I was crying to the Lord with my voice, And He answered me from His holy mountain.โ€ (vv. 3-4)

Verses 5-6: Trust in God’s Sustenance David’s faith allows him to find peace and rest even in the face of mortal danger. He attributes his ability to sleep peacefully to God’s sustaining power, declaring he will not fear, regardless of how many enemies surround him:

โ€œI lay down and slept; I awoke, for the Lord sustains me. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people Who have set themselves against me round about.โ€ (vv. 5-6)

Verses 7-8: A Call for Deliverance and Victory David calls on God to rise and deliver him, using battle imagery to describe God’s power over his enemies. He ends the psalm with a declaration that salvation belongs to the Lord, and he asks for God’s blessing upon His people:

โ€œArise, O Lord; save me, O my God! For You have smitten all my enemies on the cheek; You have shattered the teeth of the wicked. Salvation belongs to the Lord; Your blessing be upon Your people!โ€ (vv. 7-8)


Psalm 3 serves as both a personal lament and a declaration of faith, offering comfort to believers facing trials by reminding them of God’s protection and deliverance.
Praying Powerful Prayers - a 30-day devotional by D.C. Robertsson

Keep Praying: Praying Powerful Prayers

A 30-day devotional from the 30-Day Journeys series on praying the way Scripture teaches. One short reading a day for those who need to bring a hard situation before God.

For the full biblical study of narcissism, see The First Will Be Last.

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Narcissist* Case Studies – Satan’s Narcissistic Traits

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Satan is the original and most clear example of a Narcissist / One with insolent pride. ย  (See hereย for an explanation on why Satan was the original narcissist). ย By understanding Satan’s insolent pride and his narcissistic traits, we can get another glimpse into the characteristics of narcissists. ย Here is a partial list of Satan’s narcissistic traits:

. Continue reading →

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Narcissist Case Studies – Satan, The Original Narcissist

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ย โ€œHow you have fallen from heaven, O star of the morning, son of the dawn! You have been cut down to the earth, You who have weakened the nations!ย ย โ€œBut you said in your heart, โ€˜I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God, And I will sit on the mount of assembly In the recesses of the north.ย ย โ€˜I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.โ€™ย  ย 

Isaiah 14:12-14

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The above passage is well-known as referring to satan, the devil, lucifer, beelzebub, or one of the other names used for one of God’s top angels who out of pride thought he could be be like God. ย To be in such close proximity to God, to see His power and glory, and to think that you could be like God — and then attempt to do it – was the height of arrogance. ย  (See here for how according to the Bible, narcissism = insolent pride.)

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And the devil said to Him [Jesus], โ€œI will give You all this domain and its glory; for it has been handed over to me, and I give it to whomever I wish. ย Therefore if Youย worship before me, it shall all be Yours.โ€ Jesus answered him,ย โ€œIt is written, โ€˜You shall worship the Lord your God and serve Him only.โ€™โ€ย 

Luke 4:6-8

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Satan also showed his true nature when one of the 3 temptations he presented to Jesus was designed to force Jesus to worship him. ย Satan could have offered any other temptation, but was was so proud, arrogant, and haughty that he took the moment of Jesus’ physical weakness from fasting to take a shot at getting what he really wanted – to be the #1 being. ย He wanted somehow to be above God. ย Narcissists will NEVER stop trying to exalt themselves until they are #1 in “their world”, with some even attempting to be “king of the world”.ย  They will use whatever opportunities they are presented with to continue working toward that goal.

Notice in the above passage that Satan claimed the earth was his to give.ย  This was a deluded and arrogant lie, as the earth was definitely not his to give. ย Satan knew Psalm 24:1 – that the earth and world belonged to God, not him.

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Theย earthย isย theย Lordโ€™s, and all it contains, The world, and those who dwell in it.ย 
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Psalm 24:1
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This is a classic Narcissist trait – to co-opt other’s work, authority, rights as their own – as part of their self-aggrandizement and self-exaltation.
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Further confirming that satan was the original narcissist – one with insolent pride – was the direct link Jesus made between the Big narcissist (Satan) and the earthly examples of narcissists in His time – the Pharisees. ย (See here and here how we know that the Pharisees were narcissists / filled with insolent pride).
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You (Pharisees) are of yourย father the devil, andย you want to do the desires of your father.ย He (satan, the devil) was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth becauseย there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaksย a lie, heย speaks from his ownย nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.ย 

John 8:44

. *ย Narcissist is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” ย please seeย hereย for an explanation . Click here for initial steps on how to know God personally    
The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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Narcissist Tactics – Sniping At Those of Whom They’re Jealous (Pharisee Case Study)

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29ย And Levi gave a big reception for Him in his house; and there was a great crowd of tax collectors and other people who were reclining at the table with them. ย The Pharisees and their scribes began grumbling at His disciples, saying, โ€œWhy do you eat and drink with the tax collectors and sinners?โ€ ย And Jesus answered and said to them, โ€œIt is not those who are well who need a physician, but those who are sick. ย I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.โ€ย 

 

Luke 5:29-32

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The Pharisees were jealous that Jesus, instead of themselves, was getting the attention and honor from a great crowd at this reception organized especially for Him. ย Rather than recognize their own jealously, they began to sneeringly condemn and criticize everyone else at the reception. ย They took a condescending, judgmental, holier-than-thou attitude toward the entire crowd by labeling them all as sinners, and then arrogantly judged Jesus for not separating from the guests. ย They showed their insincere cowardice by whispering against Jesus behind his back instead of directly addressing him with their concerns. ย  This was all an arrogant outflowing of their jealously – cloaked as “holiness”. . Jesus knew about the Pharisees grumbling to His disciples. ย He could have rebuked them for the jealously at the root of their comments, or for their insolent pride at looking down their nose at virtually everyone in the room. ย However, instead of getting down in the mud with the Pharisees, He pointed them and anyone else listening to a much higher point – the need for everyone who was willing to recognize (by admitting they were spiritually “sick”) their need for repentance. ย The Pharisees in their pride would, of course, not recognize their need, and therefore would not receive healing. . This was a subtle rebuke to the Pharisees’s self-centered blind jealously, andย in the process, Jesus communicated to His listening disciples His willingness to engage with people for their benefit. ย And inย the process, He demonstrated Proverbs 26:4-5: .

Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Or you will also be like him. Answer a fool as his folly deserves, That he not be wise in his own eyes.ย 

 

Proverbs 26:4-5

,

Click here for steps on how to know GOD personally .

Putting “Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism” Into Perspective

     
The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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Narcissistic* Traits Case Study – Acting As Judge (Pharisees)

. The Pharisees are a prominent example of Insolent Pride / Narcissism in the Bible (see here and here). ย They were described as “scoffers” in Isaiah 28, and “scoffers” are one of the “names” given to those with insolent pride – [“‘Proud’, ‘haughty’, ‘scoffer’ are his names who acts with insolent pride” – Proverbs 21:24]. ย And insolent pride = narcissism (see here). A prime characteristic of a scoffer is that they set themselves up as judge over others, based on an arbitrary standard of their own creation. ย  They will not try to keep their own standard, as they see themselves as above the rules. ย And they will change the standard as necessary to suit their primary objective of being “above” others (that’s one of the reasons its an “arbitrary” standard). ย The imperative of scoffers / insolent pride / narcissists is to maintain their superiority over others. Here are some examples of the Pharisees acting as judge: .

When theย Phariseesย sawย this, they said to His disciples, โ€œWhy is your Teacher eating with the tax collectors and sinners?โ€ย 

Matthew 9:11

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The Pharisees set an implied arbitrary rule as to who “righteous” people should eat with, and then judged Jesus against that rule] .

Then the disciples of John *came to Him, asking, โ€œWhy do we and theย Pharisees fast, but Your disciples do not fast?โ€ย 

Matthew 9:14

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The Pharisees took something they were doing (fasting), and turned it into a standard they could use with which to judge others] .

But theย Pharisees were saying, โ€œHe casts out the demons by the ruler of the demons.โ€ย 

Matthew 9:34

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Rather than carefully exploring how Jesus was able to cast out demons, the Pharisees jumped to the conclusion that since Jesus’ power could not be from God (based on the Pharisees’ own pre-determined view), it had to come from Satan.ย  Since falsely attributing Jesus’ miracles to Satan’s power would clearly undermine Jesus’ ministry, the Pharisees were quick to take the opportunity to do this. .

But when theย Phariseesย sawย this, they said to Him, โ€œLook, Your disciples do what is not lawful to do on a Sabbath.โ€ย 

Matthew 12:2

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The Pharisees were interpreting the law according to their own opinion, and using their interpretation as the basis for judging Jesus] .

But when theย Phariseesย heardย this, they said, โ€œThis man casts out demons only by Beelzebul the ruler of the demons.โ€ย 

Matthew 12:24

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Once again, rather than honestly exploring the true source Jesus’ ability to cast out demons, the Pharisees were quick to judge and condemn Him, based on an interpretation that would most fully demean and undermine Jesus. . . See here for initial steps on how to know God personally * Narcissism is the colloquial secular term for what the Bible refers to as “insolent pride”.
The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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Narcissist Case Studies – Cain, The First Human Narcissist

. While it may not be obvious through a cursory look, Cain was likely the first human narcissist (Satan was the very first narcissist, see here). ย  Let’s go through the Biblical evidence: . The first clue that Cain was a narcissist with insolent pride is found here: .
“not as Cain,ย who was of the evil one and slew his brother. And for what reason did he slay him? Because his deeds were evil, and his brotherโ€™s were righteous.”
I John 3:12
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Being “of the evil one (Satan)” is similar to the way Jesus described the Pharisees…..
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“Youย areย ofย yourย fatherย theย devil, andย youย want to doย theย desiresย ofย yourย father. He was a murderer fromย theย beginning, and does not stand inย theย truth becauseย there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his ownย nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”ย  ย 
John 8:44
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Since the Pharisees were narcissists (see here and here) just like their father, Satan (see hereย and here), describing Cain in the same way as the Pharisees puts him in the same category.
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The other clues on Cain’s narcissism and insolent pride come from his actions and reactions. ย There was a clear sequence……
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……..Evil was in Cain’s heart (repeating I John 3:12)
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not asย Cain,ย who was of the evil one and slew his brother. And for what reason did he slay him? Because his deeds were evil, and his brotherโ€™s were righteous.ย 
I John 3:12
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…….But Cain still expected God to “like” the offering he made.ย  However, God views obedience as much more important than the sacrifice (I Samuel 15:22). ย When Cain did not get the positive response from God that he wanted, instead of repentance he 1.ย  became very angry, and 2.ย  began to mope
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but for Cain and for his offering He had no regard. So Cain became very angry and his countenance fell.ย 
Genesis 4:5
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……God then told Cain what he needed to do to fix things
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If youย doย well, will notย your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.โ€ย 
Genesis 4:7
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Note: ย God’s instructions to the first narcissist (Cain) provides a clue to narcissists (scoffers with insolent pride) on how to deal with what is in their heart.
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Cain had a decision. ย He could take God’s instruction to “master” the sin inside him. ย But instead of repenting and seeking God, he decided to accept what was in his heart and get rid of the competition who was “making him look bad”.
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Cain told Abel his brother. And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.ย  ย Genesis 4:8
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Then he lied about it
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Then theย Lordย said toย Cain, โ€œWhere is Abel your brother?โ€ And he said, โ€œI do not know. Am I my brotherโ€™s keeper?โ€ย 
Genesis 4:9
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When he got caught in this 3rd infraction (evil heart, murder, lying about the murder) and was going to receive final judgment from the Lord, he instead of repenting continued to whine, complain, and fight against his judgment – twisting what God said.
Cain first twisted what God had said in Genesis 4:11-12,
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Cain said to theย Lord, โ€œMy punishment is too great to bear! ย ย 14ย Behold, You have driven me this day from the face of the ground (NOT true)
Then he lied about what God had said
“and from Your face I will be hidden” (NOT true)
Then he made a “drama king” kind of statement
and I will be a vagrant and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.โ€ย  (a grossly overstated fear)
ย Genesis 4:13
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Cain’s response to his judgment was a classic narcissistic response to the consequences of his actions.
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The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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Narcissist Case Studies – They Make Fatal Mistakes (Haman)

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Prideย goes before destruction,
And a haughty spirit before stumbling.ย 
Proverbs 16:18
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and
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Theย way of the wicked is like darkness;
They do not know over what they stumble.ย 
Proverbs 4:19
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Narcissists (aka those with insolent pride) stumble alot (see here),ย  ย Their stumbling often prevents them from making much progress in their self-exalting goals. ย But even if a narcissist manages to achieve ย or maneuver his way to a top position, his insolent pride can still blind his judgment to the point of making a fatal mistake (See “They Have Poor Judgement”).

In our final post about Haman for awhile, we clearly see this.ย  Once he had been promoted to the king’s right hand man, Haman thought he was invincible.ย  As a result, he felt he was free to destroy the entire population of Mordecai’s ethnicity, the Jews, with no consequences to himself. Continue reading →

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Narcissist* Case Studies – Haman

. As mentioned recently, the person called Haman in the Old Testament book of Esther was most likely a narcissist (scoffer, one filled with insolent pride). ย How do we know that Haman was a narcissist? ย Look at some of the descriptions: .

10 Haman ……. went to his house andย sent for his friends and his wife Zeresh.ย 11ย Then Haman recounted to them the glory of his riches, and theย number of his sons, and everyย instanceย where the king had magnified him and how he hadย promoted him above the princes and servants of the king.ย 12ย Haman also said, โ€œEven Esther the queen let no one but me come with the king to the banquet which she had prepared; and tomorrow also I am invited by her with the king.ย 

Esther 5:10-12

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This is clear narcissistic self-aggrandisement. ย See hereย and hereย and here for more. In his insolent pride, Haman created a plan to get rid of Mordecai’s people, the Jews.ย  The book of Esther is an illustration of how God prepares a slippery slope leading to sudden destruction for such people, as described in Psalm 73. Setting the stage as part of God’s rescue plan and the revelation of Haman’s evil plan arising from his insolent pride, God actively worked behind the scenes.ย  We often assume that God does not see and hear our cry for help, totally blind to what He is actually doing. .

6ย During that nightย the kingย could not sleep so he gave an order to bringย the book of records, the chronicles, and they were read before the king.ย 2ย It was found written whatย Mordecai had reported concerning Bigthana and Teresh, two of the kingโ€™s eunuchs who were doorkeepers, that they had sought to lay hands on King Ahasuerus.

3ย The king said, โ€œWhat honor or dignity has been bestowed on Mordecai for this?โ€ Then the kingโ€™s servants who attended him said, โ€œNothing has been done for him.โ€4ย So the king said, โ€œWho is in the court?โ€ Now Haman had justย entered the outer court of the kingโ€™s palace in order to speak to the king aboutย hanging Mordecai on the gallows which he had prepared for him.ย 5ย The kingโ€™s servants said to him, โ€œBehold, Haman is standing in the court.โ€ And the king said, โ€œLet him come in.โ€ย 

Esther 6:1-5

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Typical of narcisissts, Haman delusionally assumed that he was the one whom the king was preparing to honor, oblivious to the reality of what was taking place.

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6ย So Haman came in and the king said to him, โ€œWhat is to be done for the man whom the king desires to honor?โ€ And Haman saidย to himself, โ€œWhom would the king desire to honor more than me?โ€7ย 

Then Haman said to the king, โ€œFor the man whom the king desires to honor,8ย let them bring a royal robe which the king has worn, andย the horse on which the king has ridden, and on whose headย a royal crown has been placed;ย 9ย and let the robe and the horse be handed over to one of the kingโ€™s most noble princes and let them array the man whom the king desires to honor and lead him on horseback through the city square, and proclaim before him, โ€˜Thus it shall be done to the man whom the king desires to honor.โ€™โ€ย 

Esther 6:6-9

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In his pride, Haman immediately and mistakenly assumed that he was the most deserving of the king’s honor. ย His advice to the king on how to honor him was to create an image that effectively exalted Haman to be on the same level as the king in the eyes of the public – wearing the king’s robe, riding the king’s horse, and having someone go in front proclaiming the greatness of the man being exalted. This is exactly what the original narcissist satan attempted – to be exalted to the same level as his king, in this case God. . In the end, Haman’s insolent pride led to his sudden downfall. . . *ย Narcissist is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride”. ย Seeย hereย and hereย for an explanation . See here for initial steps to peace with God  

The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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Narcissist Traits – They Avoid Accountability (Pharisee Case Study)

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Narcissists (the secular term for scoffers or those with insolent pride) act to achieve their self-exalting, self-centered goals, but then aggressively avoid blame when called to account for their actions.ย  The Pharisees provide a prominent case study.ย  They stirred up the crowds against Jesus…..
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20ย But the chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowds to ask for Barabbas and to put Jesus to death. But the governor said to them, โ€œWhich of the two do you want me to release for you?โ€ And they said, โ€œBarabbas.โ€ย  Pilate *said to them, โ€œThen what shall I do with Jesus who is called Christ?โ€ They all *said, โ€œCrucify Him!โ€ ย And he said, โ€œWhy, what evil has He done?โ€ But they kept shouting all the more, saying, โ€œCrucify Him!โ€

When Pilate saw that he was accomplishing nothing, but rather that a riot was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd, saying, โ€œI am innocent of this Manโ€™s blood; see to that yourselves.โ€ And all the people said, โ€œHis blood shall be on us and on our children!โ€ย  ย 

Matthew 27:20-25

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But when Peter and other apostles publicly shared the gospel, the religious leaders objected greatly to being accused of their complicity in the death of Jesus.

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27ย When they had brought them [Peter and others], they stood them before the Council. The high priest questioned them, saying, โ€œWe gave you strict orders not to continue teaching in this name, and yet, you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and intend to bring this manโ€™s blood upon us.โ€ย 

Acts 5:27-28

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We know from here that Pharisees were examples of narcissists / those with insolent pride. ย The very people who stirred up the crowds to ask Pilate to release Barabbas and crucify Jesus were the same ones who later tried to avoid being pegged with responsibility for Jesus’ death. ย This is a classic narcissist move – seeking to be above accountability for their actions. ย Even when there is clear evidence to the contrary.
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While our encounter with the narcissist in our life is far less prominent and far less dramatic, his drive to never be wrong is the same – even in the smallest of things.ย  He (or she) will blame, deflect, defend, and accuse you of meanness in attacking him – but he will not acknowledge what he’s done or admit to being wrong.
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Note: ย The point of this entry is not to say “the Jews killed Jesus”, but to illustrate the narcissistic tendency to avoid accountability for the very actions for which the narcissist is responsible. ย The Pharisees were not all narcissists,ย and the actions of Matthew 27 and Acts 5 were ultimately done by individuals. ย  See here for an additional discussion on calling the Pharisees “narcissists”.
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Also, there is additional reading on the various Jewish theological schools of thought and practice @ http://www.centralcal.com/crist2.htm
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*Narcissist is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” – see hereย for more
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The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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The First Example Of Covert Narcissism In The Bible

. The lies, manipulation, and deceit of covert narcissism are in many ways far more destructive than the in-your-face approach of overt narcissists.ย  When a covert narcissist successfully portrays their lie as the truth, they change the life course of everyone who believes their lie. – as well as their intended target.ย  Most of us want to believe that what we are hearing from someone is the truth, and most of us start by believing the best of others – as this is a more positive way to live.ย  That makes us more vulnerable to believing the lies of a covert narcissist. . The Bible illustrates this multiple times, starting with the original narcissist, Satan.ย  When he first appeared to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, he did not say “I’m a big powerful angel – in fact the most beautiful angel.ย  I can do great things for you, so you should follow me and let me help you”.ย  Instead his tool for getting them to follow him started by very subtly and deceitfully undermining a constraint which God had established. God clearly told Adam and Eve not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and outlined the consequences if they did…. .

15ย Then theย Lordย God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.ย 16ย Theย Lordย Godย commanded the man, saying, โ€œFrom any tree of the garden you may eat freely;ย 17ย but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall notย [n]eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.โ€ย 

Genesis 2:15-17

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Satan did not use the overt narcissist tactic of, “I’m great, follow me”.ย  Instead he first created doubt by asking a seemingly “innocent” question – “did God really say that?”  

3ย Nowย the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which theย Lordย God had made. And he said to the woman, โ€œIndeed, has God said, โ€˜You shall not eat fromย [a]any tree of the gardenโ€™?โ€ย 2ย The woman said to the serpent, โ€œFrom the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat;ย 3ย but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, โ€˜You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.โ€™โ€ย 4ย The serpent said to the woman, โ€œYou surely will not die!ย 5ย For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.โ€ย 

Genesis 2:3-5

. Satan’s first question was in fact not innocent because of his underlying intention to drive a wedge between Adam and Eve, and God.ย  In our interactions with our covert narcissist we might consider such an “innocent” question as simply a request to double back and confirm the truth.ย  In this case, since God had already clearly stated His boundary, questioning if God really said it was an invitation to disobedience. After Eve’s not-quite-accurate answer to Satan’s setup question, Satan next directly lied in contradiction to God by saying, “you surely will not die!”ย  He followed the lie by undermining God’s goodness by implying that God was withholding something good from Adam and Eve through the boundary He had set – “For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil”. . Satan used the setup question, the follow-up lie,ย  and the questioning of God’s motive to turn the desires of Eve’s heart into successfully separating Adam and Eve from their Creator.ย  We all know the result of Adam and Eve naively falling for this covert narcissist’s (Satan) tactics. . How can we avoid being duped by the covert narcissist? We need to seek to replace our naivete with prudence.ย  God says twice in Proverbs
Theย prudentย seesย theย evilย and hides himself, Butย the naive go on, and are punished for it.ย 
Proverbs 22:3
Aย prudentย manย seesย evilย andย hides himself,ย Theย naive proceedย andย payย the penalty.ย 
Proverbs 27:12
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When God repeats something, pay attention.ย  Even though normal people want to take a constructive approach to others, it is important to understand that evil lurks in the heart of man, and not simply believe everything. One way to do that is to fact check,
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The first to pleadย his caseย seemsย right,ย Until another comes and examines him.
Proverbs 18:17
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A covert narcissist will typically “go first” in his steps to manipulate a situation.ย  He is the one with the plan, the intention to get what he wants.ย  By going first he gets to set the agenda, to define the playing field, and to put his target on the defensive.ย  Those whom the covert narcissist is trying to manipulate for there agenda must realize that these people exist, and not accept everything we hear at face value.
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One other thing that we can do is to ask God to thwart the covert narcissist’s efforts.ย  Psalm 5 is one of several Psalms to use as a prayer guide
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For You are not a Godย who takes pleasure in wickedness; No evil dwells with You. 5ย Theย boastful shall notย stand before Your eyes; Youย hate all who do iniquity. 6ย Youย destroy those who speak falsehood; Theย Lordย abhorsย the man of bloodshed and deceit.
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Oย Lord, lead me in Your righteousness because ofย my foes; Make Your way straight before me. 9ย There is nothingย reliable in what they say; Theirย inward part is destructionย itself. Theirย throat is an open grave; They flatter with their tongue.
10ย Hold them guilty, O God; By their own devices let them fall! In the multitude of their transgressionsย thrust them out, For they are rebellious against You.ย  ย 
Psalm 5:4-6, 8-10
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I believe that most covert narcissists would be overt narcissists if they got the chance.ย  But in the meantime we should have a goal of becoming far more discerning to identify the covert narcissists in our midst and be alert to their tactics.
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The First Will Be Last book cover - a biblical perspective on narcissism by D.C. Robertsson

Go Deeper: The First Will Be Last

What does the Bible say about narcissism, and how should a believer respond? This book walks through Scripture’s case studies, the key words the Bible uses, and practical counsel for those living or working with a narcissist.

Paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. For daily encouragement, see the 30-Day Journeys devotional series.

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Narcissist Case Study – Uzziah

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When seemingly “normal” people become arrogant and abusive after they get a little power or success, we may reasonably wonder whether the seeds of that pride were latent in their heart prior to their success.ย  Uzziah, King of Judah is a case in point, as described in 2 Chronicles 26

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26:1 And all the people of Judah tookย Uzziah, whoย wasย sixteen years old, and made him king in the place of his father Amaziah…….

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ย 4ย He did right in the sight of theย Lordย according to all that his father Amaziah had done.ย 5ย He continued to seek God in the days of Zechariah,ย who had understandingย through the vision of God; andย as long as he sought theย Lord, God prospered him…….

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……Hence his fame spread afar, for he was marvelously helped until he wasย strong.ย ย 16ย Butย when he became strong, his heart was soย proud that he acted corruptly, and he was unfaithful to theย Lordย his God, forย he entered the temple of theย Lordย to burn incense on the altar of incense.ย 

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