Dealing With Narcissists – Fact Check Everything

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As a narcissist is notoriously unreliable, it is important to fact check (at least to yourself) what comes out of their mouth rather than accept they say at face value.

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Proverbs 14.15 – “The naive believes everything, But the sensible man considers his steps.”

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Proverbs 18.17 – “The first to plead his case seems right, Until another comes and examines him.”

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Matthew 18.16 – “so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed.”

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2 Corinthians 13.1 – “This is the third time I am coming to you. Every fact is to be confirmed by the testimony of two or three witnesses.”

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1 Timothy 5.19 – “Do not receive an accusation against an elder except on the basis of two or three witnesses.”

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Narcissists / those with insolent pride tend to exaggerate their skills, accomplishments, track record, commitment to the cause, etc.   They also will stretch the truth or outright lie in order to get what they want.   And they do not hesitate to trash the reputation of those who get in their way.  So while this basic biblical principle of confirming things instead of believing every thing you are told is always appropriate – it is especially applicable when dealing with narcissists.

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Please see Putting “Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism” Into Perspective for an overview and frame of reference on what this blog is about.

 

3 responses

  1. Pingback: Dealing With Narcissists – Fact Check Everything, continued « Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism

  2. Lord bless you for your blog! I have a NPD wife and find much (I Sam 30:6) encouragement through you in my walk of focusing on being more Christ-like while minimizing the often-resulting despair. One word I have discovered that helps me better understand her is ‘confabulation’:

    In psychiatry, confabulation is a disturbance of memory, defined as the production of fabricated, distorted, or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive. People who confabulate present incorrect memories ranging from “subtle alterations to bizarre fabrications”, and are generally very confident about their recollections, despite contradictory evidence.

    I pray that God continues to reveal truth to you in His word in your ministry to so many others!

    • Thanks much for your comment. I had never heard the term, but your confabulation comment sounds reasonable. I have found that the secular NPD writers do a pretty good job of recognizing NPD traits, but do not have the God-perspective to understand the true causes and solutions. In my view, the cause of “confabulation” can be traced to pride and an unwillingness to be wrong, with the mind doing gymnastics to prove the prideful heart correct. So even though the person is not consciously trying to deceive, their heart is unconsciously doing so. Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?”

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