Narcissists Will Never Celebrate Your Success (Because They’re Jealous)

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You may occasionally be surprised when a narcissistic “friend” fails to be happy for, or even acknowledge, some accomplishment in your life.  An exception might occur if they have already done the same thing before you, or at a higher level than you.  In that case, your accomplishment provides them with the opportunity to boast about what they did first or better.

Two examples from narcissists in the Bible illustrate this point:

The first came from Jesus’ parable of the “prodigal son”, where Jesus described the narcissistic brother of the lost son this way as the prodigal son returned:

 

“Now his older son was in the field, and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. And he summoned one of the servants and began inquiring what these things could be. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has slaughtered the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.’

But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him. But he answered and said to his father, ‘Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you never gave me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends;

Luke 15:25-29

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The older brother – who owned the full remaining inheritance after his little brother squandered his portion – was focused on what he did not get instead of celebrating his brother’s return.

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Another prime example is the Pharisees’ unwillingness to acknowledge the Messiah – Jesus – when He came.  They were jealous of His success and chided each other for losing their status among the people,

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For this reason [the healing of Lazarus] also the people went to meet Him, because they heard that He had performed this sign.  So the Pharisees said to one another, “You see that you are not accomplishing anything; look, the world has gone after Him!”

John 12:18-19

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in another instance, instead of being happy when a man was healed on a Sabbath (John 5:1-18), the Pharisees immediately began to criticize that it had happened on the Sabbath – looking for some spurious reason with which to undermine the miracle.

Failure to acknowledge another’s success – or going further to tear down or undermine it fits with the narcissistic modus operandi – in the insolent pride of their heart they must be first, best, top dog, ahead of you.  Everyone else’s purpose is to support their exaltation – and nothing less can be tolerated.

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In contrast to the Pharisees, John (the Baptist) – whom Jesus described as the greatest man who ever lived (Matthew 11:11) – readily deferred to Jesus when He came on the scene:

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And they came to John and said to him, “Rabbi, He who was with you beyond the Jordan, to whom you have testified—behold, He is baptizing and all the people are coming to Him.”  John replied, “A person can receive not even one thing unless it has been given to him from heaven.  

You yourselves are my witnesses that I said, ‘I am not the Christ,’ but, ‘I have been sent ahead of Him.’  He who has the bride is the groom; but the friend of the groom, who stands and listens to him, rejoices greatly because of the groom’s voice. So this joy of mine has been made full.  

He must increase, but I must decrease. 

John 3:26-30

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To those who have experienced this – we need not worry.  God sees and rewards actions which flow out of a right heart of love, and even if a narcissist ignores, discounts, or destroys your accomplishment in the eyes of man, God will have the last say – as He always does.

We do not need to defend ourselves or make sure we are acknowledged or recognized – God will take care of that in His way and in His time.  Ultimately God wants others to see that the true accomplishment was Him working in our lives – demonstrating it in a way that points people to Him, so that they can also experience His love and goodness for them.

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Your light must shine before people in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. 

Matthew 5:16

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BOOKS FOR THE SOUL

 

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Narcissists Are “Ungenerous”

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Out of their insolent pride and selfishness, and their “me first” attitude, narcissists lack a generosity of spirit.  Let’s call them “ungenerous”.  They believe that “charity begins at home” – and should mostly stay at home.   In other words, “me first”, and then you might get some of the left over crumbs if they feel magnanimous.

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The insolently proud Pharisees (see here ) exemplify this.  Jesus said to them,

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 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. 

Matthew 23:23-24

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Jesus was saying that the Pharisees scrupulously kept the tiniest letter of the law, while ignoring the things most on God’s heart – justice, mercy, and true faithfulness to God.  Also implied is an underlying motive that the Pharisees did not want to give to God any more than was absolutely required.

In Mark 7 Jesus also challenged the Pharisees for using a loophole in their traditions to keep from offering help to their parents, refusing the most basic element of generosity.

But even though narcissists are ungenerous, they still want to be seen as generous.

Jesus called the Pharisees out for making a big show of the few coins they would give to the poor – fake generosity done in a manner to get maximum attention.  He then used them as a counter-example to explain that genuine, quiet generosity is the path to true reward.

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“Take care not to practice your righteousness in the sight of people, to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.

 “So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, so that they will be praised by people. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. 

But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your charitable giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. 

Matthew 6:1-4

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In Acts, the narcissistic Ananias and Sapphira also wanted to quietly limit their generosity while appearing to be generous.

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It is easy to understand the narcissist’s lack of a generous spirit.  Their self-exaltation always believes that they deserve more than others, deserve the best, deserve the first of everything.  But there is a deep fallacy in their thinking.

While they may mentally assent to God’s glory, in their hearts they either

    • Fail to truly understand God’s limitless love, wisdom, and power (they believe the economic pie is limited and therefore they must get whatever they can for themselves)  OR
    • Fail to truly understand that God is a rewarder of those seek Him and put Him first (Hebrews 11:7)  OR
    • Want to live life their way, according to their rules – forfeiting God’s blessing and forcing them to grab whatever they can in compensation.

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Their failure – in their hearts – to recognize, acknowledge, or submit to God as GOD – with His unlimited knowledge, love and power – makes them grab whatever they can.  This is in contrast to those generous in spirit willing to let go and give out of love – trusting the God of unlimited generosity and resources to make everything good in the end.

In contrast to the ungenerous narcissists, Jesus said,

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Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.” 
Luke 6:38

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Psalm 91 – Security Of The One Who Trusts In The Lord

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Psalm 91

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91 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust!”

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For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper
And from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with His pinions,
And under His wings you may seek refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.

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You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
Or of the arrow that flies by day;
Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon.

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A thousand may fall at your side
And ten thousand at your right hand,
But it shall not approach you.
You will only look on with your eyes
And see the recompense of the wicked.

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For you have made the Lord, my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place.
10 No evil will befall you,
Nor will any plague come near your tent.

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11 For He will give His angels charge concerning you,
To guard you in all your ways.
12 They will bear you up in their hands,
That you do not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you will trample down.

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14 “Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
15 “He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16 “With a long life I will satisfy him
And let him see My salvation.”

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Narcissists Are Quick To Take Credit For Other’s Work

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Most of us have likely observed a narcissist who focuses on taking credit instead of getting a job done well – even to the extreme of  taking credit for something they had absolutely nothing to do with.  It’s infuriating when it happens, and makes you wonder if they are intentionally lying or just delusional.  It could be either – most of my experiences have been of the delusional variety.  This is consistent with the fact that their heart drives their mind.

The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart. 
Luke 6:45
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Because their root heart attitude is “I’m best” or “I’m better than you”, the narcissist’s heart believes that if  something good happens it must have been them, and if something bad happens it must have been you.

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Many times you can’t argue with or fight their assertion, because it’s a “he said, she said” situation that is unprovable.  I once had a lady take credit for an answer to prayer I mentioned.  I was highly suspect, but it was not something to argue about – I just let it go and left it in God’s hands.

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There may be a time that you really need to set the record straight.  But be aware that you’re doing this vs. someone who will pull every trick in the book to not be wrong.  It would be wise to be very, very, very selective on when you fight the battle.  In most cases, it is better to simply trust God to defend you or to make it work all out for your good in the end.  When you bring the sovereign, loving, powerful God of the universe into the equation, it changes how you approach your response.

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You can step back and ask God to humble their hearts, and to enlighten their eyes so that they would see themselves in comparison with God’s greatness (they are small, He is big).  And you can pray specifically that God would help you and deal with, fix, and overcome the specific negative circumstances created by the N’s proud and evil response.  Rather than make your fight with the N, tactically use the circumstance as an opportunity for God to show His love and power and grace in working on your behalf.

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This may sound trite.  Our natural instinct is to fight for our justice and win.  But letting God fight the battle in their heart, and exercising His great power to defend and counteract the effects of their evil action (or better yet to use that evil action for our even greater good), is often a wiser, more peaceful course of action.

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Back to a narcissist possibly taking credit for our work.  Can we toot our own horn if we do something good?  In the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30) the guys given ten talents and five talents came back with tangible, measurable results.  They didn’t boast of their results, but were pleased to present to their boss tangible results.  Jesus didn’t rebuke their presentation of those results.  He only rebuked the “no results”.  (This was a business reference illustrating investing in God’s kingdom).  There is a difference between boasting and presenting facts.

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Measurable, identifiable results can be one means of countering a narcissists false claim.  Proverbs says,

The first to plead his case seems right, until another comes and examines him.
Proverbs 18:17

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The narcissist may be the first to plead his case, but if you calmly present your provable, measurable, tangible results, you can let the facts speak for themselves in response – without getting into an unwinnable contest with a lying narcissist.

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Click here for initial steps on how to find peace with God.

 

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Narcissist Traits – They Set Themselves Up As Lawgiver

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James 4:11-12

11 Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?

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Someone who “speaks against a brother” is doing something far more serious than may appear on the surface.  James says that he is actually setting himself up (in his mind) higher than God as the law-setter and judge of what is right and wrong.  He then uses the standard he has created as the basis for passing judgment on others for not matching up to his standard.  This is exactly how a scoffer (aka narcissist) operates. Continue reading

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Is God Narcissistic? (No)

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I receive the occasional comment from haters saying something to the effect that “your God is the biggest narcissist of all”.  I erase those immediately so as to not let blaspheme continue, but let’s address it.

People may make such a comment for a variety of reasons, but let’s assume they mean that God is narcissistic because He wants worship and obedience.  Yes, He does – but the “why” is where they get things backwards, and is the starting point of their blasphemous error. Continue reading

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Why Do Narcissists Have Addictive Personalities?

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Consider this blog post as “thinking out loud” about something.  It is not intended to be definitive, but simply the start of working through a subject.

Conventional wisdom holds that narcissists tend toward addictive personalities.  I have no reason to dispute it, and have seen traces in my own life in the past – a sample size of one.  However, assuming this is true, what could be the cause?

Here are some overlapping possibiilties:

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  • ONE – they forfeit God-given grace.

James says,

But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 

James 4:6

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A working definition I use for grace is “God gives us what we need (in abundance), when we need it”.  The big example of course is salvation by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9) – something we all desperately need.  But grace can include many other things, ranging from the “common grace” of sunshine to the grace to live properly – God giving us the desire and the power to do the right thing.  Paul describes that in Philippians.

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So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to desire and to work for His good pleasure. 

Philippians 4:12-13

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If we are proud and determined that our way is best, God says, “OK, go ahead, do it your way.  But you’re on your own for this one”.  In doing this we reject His help, His grace, forfeiting the desire and power from His hand to rise above sinful practices, and increasing the likelihood of sinking into destructive patterns.

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  • TWOthey are naive and think that consequences are for someone else

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Narcissists are smart and very clever, but lack good judgment – a popular phrase is that they know the price of everything but the value of nothing.  This lack of good judgment results in not clearly anticipating the full consequences of their actions.  Proverbs says,

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A prudent person sees evil and hides himself, But the naive proceed, and pay the penalty.
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Proverbs 22:3, 27:12
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This lack of prudent caution means they have no solid boundaries, resulting in leaping before looking, jumping into things.  They will look at something that could lead to addiction – let’s say alcohol or gambling – and assume that outcome won’t happen to them.
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  • THREE – opening themselves to the wrong side

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This one is going to be a bit more difficult, but let’s try.

Spiritual warfare is real.  In Paul’s famous statement on the armor of God he explained that the real battle is in the spiritual realm, not the earthly realm.

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Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 

Ephesians 6:10-12

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There is no neutral territory in the spiritual world.   Jesus said

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The one who is not with Me is against Me; and the one who does not gather with Me scatters. 

Matthew 12:30

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This goes deeper than you may think.  When King Saul disobeyed God, the prophet Samuel told him.

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For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king. 

I Samuel 15:23 (KJV)

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This is the flip side of point number one.  When someone says to God “my way is best, I don’t need you”, they are proud, but proudly rebellious.  So, not only do they forfeit God’s grace, but they open themselves up to “the other side”.

Witchcraft is inviting the influence of Satan, the most wicked taskmaster possible, into your  life.  Samuel said that rebellion is “like” witchcraft.  There is no neutral territory in the spiritual world – if we rebel against God we implicitly choose the other side, giving Satan a much stronger foothold.  Since Satan is out to destroy us, he (and his demons) will use their greater influence to ensnare us in whatever way they can.

(This is a much deeper subject than we can discuss here – I can recommend the book “Spiritual Warfare” by Karl Payne for those who want to dig deeper.)

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The antidote is to have a full view of God and who He is – His unlimited knowledge, wisdom, power, holiness, and love – and to yield (humbling ourselves) to Him – resulting in an abundance of His grace.  If we are trapped in a pattern as a result of our proud rebellion, we also need to confess our sins (I John 1:9) – not only for His forgiveness but as also part of the humbling process which results in greater grace.  He is then able to reclaim ground that we have yielded to the opposing kingdom (see Karl Payne’s book).

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As I said at the beginning, view this as simply food for thought and a starting point for further exploration.

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Why Does God Allow Evil People To Remain?

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When we deal with narcissists there is always a big question lingering in the background.  This question is the same whether dealing with them on an individual basis.

The question is “why”.  Why does God allow evil (including narcissistic) people to remain on the earth, and by extension, to continue to cause us trouble?

We will address here evil people as a group, not individuals.

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The answer is found in Jesus’ parable of the wheat and the tares: Continue reading

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A Great Example

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I came across something so compelling I just had to share.

I saw a small fraction of the Olympics, including the women’s 400 meter hurdles won in world record time by Sydney Maclaughlin.  I then heard that she was a believer in Jesus, and came across this quote from her Instagram page:

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“Let me start off by saying, what and honor it is to be able to represent not only my country, but also the kingdom of God. What I have in Christ is far greater than what I have or don’t have in life.

I pray my journey may be a clear depiction of submission and obedience to God. Even when it doesn’t make sense, even when it doesn’t seem possible. He will make a way out of no way. Not for my own gratification, but for His glory. I have never seen God fail in my life. In anyone’s life for that matter. Just because I may not win every race, or receive every one of my heart’s desires, does not mean God had failed. His will is PERFECT.

And He has prepared me for a moment such as this. That I may use the gifts He has given me to point all the attention back to Him. “

(https://www.instagram.com/p/CSMa9_mrhQU/)

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YES !!!

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God knew Sydney’s heart and her testimony – including her willingness to genuinely give God the glory – and provided her a platform so that HE would be made known to a much broader audience.

The narcissistic approach is to exalt ourselves first, with God possibly benefitting from OUR reflected glory as a secondary consideration.

But the non-narcissistic, humble approach is to “go low” in our hearts, seek to honor God first, and then let Him decide how He wants to use it – whether very visibly like Sydney Mclaughlin, or invisibly in a way that will only be revealed in eternity.

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They Think They’re Indispensable

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Narcissists tend to consider themselves indispensable, the “key” to the success of the enterprise at hand, whether it’s running the operation to handing out pencils.  Their insolent pride starts with their own importance, and then imputes that to the importance of their role and also to  the larger enterprise.

It is (proud) human nature to think our _____ is best, but N’s take this to an extreme.  This inflated view of themselves assumes they are more important than others and even God.

Paul told the Athenians at the Areopagus,

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The God who made the world and everything that is in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made by hands; nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; 

Acts 17:24-25

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N’s tend toward work and professions that allow themselves to “play God” (politics, etc.), but they can pursue their superiority no matter what venue they find themselves – even as simple as how to arrange the tables and chairs for the church social function.

It is one thing to have a healthy sense of responsibility and value the task at hand.  But, feeling as though our enterprise is the most important and that we are indispensable to it opens the door to all kinds of unkind and abusive behavior.  It can result in the N treating people with a haughty, superior attitude –

  • criticizing others for not doing things the way they would have
  • demanding that everyone around make their piece of the work the top priority
  • making sure that everyone is there to serve them and their needs
  • praising those who fall in line with their self-serving plans, and snubbing those who don’t
  • feeling justified in lashing out when things don’t go their way

As Paul told the Athenians, if we truly understand that  1.  it is God’s priorities that really matter – to love Him and others,  2.  that He is the source of all accomplishment and  3.  that He does not “need” our service, it would put ourselves and our service (even if it is “secular work”) in the right perspective – humbly and kindly serving in collaboration with others, with God and not ourselves at the center.

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Time To Prepare

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Are we there yet?

A friend recently surprised me at lunch by saying that many of his friends actively discussed the approaching return of Christ.  I thought I was alone in feeling that we’re getting close.  Could we actually be at the end?

How are we to know?  Which of the rapture positions are correct – pre-trib, post-trib, or pan-trib (it will all pan out in the end)?  And how do we prepare for what’s coming our way?

Until now we had the luxury to debate what the Scripture says, but at the actual end that debate crashes into reality.   When we are close to God’s destination our views will have real-world implications on how we proceed, and how to prepare.

God has provided “trip instructions” on the road to the end.  And He has provided a key signpost which will tell us which set of instructions are correct.  We are announcing a new book outlining those signposts, especially the one which will tell us that it really is “time to prepare”.

 

Click on the book

click for link to Amazon Books

 

As the title says, Time To Prepare:  Signposts On The Road To The End outlines

  • the Biblical signposts on the road to the end
  • the key signpost that will tell us which side of “the debate” is actually true
  • practical Biblical advice for what’s coming our way

 

 

 

 

 

 

The clear Biblical perspective in these pages will give you a solid base, and hope, for what looks to be a bumpy ride ahead.

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Dealing With Narcissists – Jesus, Simon, and the Woman

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While Jesus often taught about how to respond to life situations from a “Heavenly perspective”, He also frequently demonstrated it.  One example that is relevant to our study on how to deal with narcissists is when Jesus was invited to dinner by the Pharisee, Simon.

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Luke 7:36-50

36 Now one of the Pharisees was requesting Him to dine with him, and He entered the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. 37 And there was a woman in the city who was a sinner; and when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster vial of perfume,38 and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet and anointing them with the perfume.

39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort of person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner.”

40 And Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” Continue reading

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Narcissist Case Study – Eliab, David’s Oldest Brother

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Psalm 19:7

The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul;
The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.

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A “testimony of the Lord” is a Biblical account of God’s dealing with someone in accordance with His nature and His ways.  While those accounts often do not specifically outline the Biblical principles at play, they are excellent illustrations of truth gleaned in other parts of the Bible.  A “case study” or a “cautionary tale” might be modern ways of referring to these accounts.  And as Psalm 19:7 and I Corinthians 10:11 state, these accounts can provide wisdom to those who are naive (or simple).

One such account is that of Eliab, David’s oldest brother.

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1 Chronicles 2:13-15

13 and Jesse became the father of Eliab his firstborn, then Abinadab the second, Shimea the third, 14 Nethanel the fourth, Raddai the fifth, 15 Ozem the sixth, David the seventh;

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Continue reading

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Narcissism Case Studies – Diotrephes

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3 John 1:9-10

9 I wrote something to the church; but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, does not accept what we say. 10 For this reason, if I come, I will call attention to his deeds which he does, unjustly accusing us with wicked words; and not satisfied with this, he himself does not receive the brethren, either, and he forbids those who desire to do so and puts them out of the church.

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The tip-off to Diotrephes’ narcissism / insolent pride was his “love to be first among them”.   His insolent pride resulted in

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  • Not accepting what the apostle John was saying.
  • Accusing John with wicked words
  • Not receiving (ie – providing the opportunity) others who might challenge him
  • Getting rid of those who might possibly side with others

Classic narcissist behavior.

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Tragically, there are too many pastors and leaders of ministries who have the “Diotrephes Syndrome”.  Their core purpose is self-exaltation instead of shepherding the flock of God.  They construct their “ministries” and message around what will best serve their delusions of grandeur.  These are some of the false prophets whom Jesus warned us about

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Matthew 7:15-16

15 “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits.

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God will ultimately deal with these guys.  One way of protecting against them is to use a Biblically-based church leadership model of shared leadership.
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Gaslighting

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Gaslighting.  You hear this pop-psychology term-du-jour a lot lately.  It is kind of cringeworthy, often making me wonder, “what do they really mean”?

The term “gaslighting” originated from the British play Gas Light (1938), and its 1940 and 1944 film adaptations.  It is now used in clinical psychological literature, as well as in political commentary and philosophy.

The name of a play / movie is used to describe behavior.  This is similar to the origin of the psychological term “narcissism” which uses a character from Greek mythology in the “science” of psychology.  Hmmm…..

Here’s how Wikipedia defines it.

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Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgement.  It may evoke changes in them such as cognitive dissonance or low self-esteem, rendering the victim additionally dependent on the gaslighter for emotional support and validation. Using denial, misdirection, contradiction and disinformation,  Gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim’s beliefs.

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A shorthand way to get your mind around it is to think of gaslighting as “deceptive manipulation”.   It is a particularly subtle, underhanded, tricky, manipulative form of lying.  Lying is very difficult to detect and guard against.  This “deceptive manipulation” form of lying is even more difficult to detect and guard against.

Of course, the Bible is way ahead on this as well as “narcissism”.  There is nothing new under the sun.

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Satan is the original liar…

You (Pharisees) are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He (Satan, the devil) was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.  John 8:44

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…. and the original practitioner of “deceptive manipulation”.

But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness….  2 Corinthians 11:3
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Since deception is one of the primary tools of the narcissist, “gaslighting” or more precisely “deceptive manipulation” can be one of the tools in their toolbox.  Prudently guarding against it is foundational.  We cannot prevent them from lying to us and attempting to deceive us.  They will speak according to their internal nature, and God will hold them accountable for their lies.  However, there are things we can do.

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How can we defeat lies?  With truth.

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Click here for initial steps on how to know God personally

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you might imagine, I have a strong bias toward using Biblical terms rather than the popular secular term of the moment.

 

 

 

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