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Matthew 23:23-28

²³ “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. ²⁴ You blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel!

²⁵ “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence. ²⁶ You blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the cup and of the dish, so that the outside of it may become clean also.

²⁷ “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. ²⁸ So you, too, outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

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See here and here on how we know that the scribes and Pharisees are a case study in narcissism

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Legalism is a focus on technical, outward conformance to a standard without regard for the spirit of the standard.  Legalistic people may adjust to comply with the external standard, while neglecting, ignoring, or outright rejecting any changes needed to their core heart attitutde.  The Pharisees were “legalistic” – they were focused on outward compliance with the rules (God’s law plus the ones they made up) rather than on being righteous on the inside.  But God had made it clear from the early days of their people that the focus should be on their hearts:

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Deuteronomy 6:4-6

⁴ “Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! ⁵ You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.⁶ These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart…….

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The scribes and Pharisees knew that commandment, as shown by the lawyer’s response to Jesus’ question….. Continue reading →

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Mark 7:5

⁵ The Pharisees and the scribes *asked Him, “Why do Your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders, but eat their bread with impure hands?”

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As we said here, scoffers (those with insolent pride, aka narcissists) set themselves up as judge.   Unless they can somehow get in an official position where they can judge others, they will unofficially compare themselves with others in a judgmental way.    They may not do this consciously, but their instinct for moral superiority makes it natural for them to frequently compare themselves with others, with an eye toward what the others are doing wrong and how they themselves are “better”.   In the verses, above, the Pharisees were comparing what Jesus and His disciples did with what they did.  In both cases, what Jesus did was not wrong – but the Pharisees set their own actions up as the standard to live by, and then judged Jesus and His disciples for not matching up to their standard.  Of course, they did not come right out and say, “you’re wrong”, but expressed their judgmental spirit through questions. Continue reading →

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As I come across particularly helpful Biblical perspectives provided by others in my quest for God’s wisdom on the subject of narcissism, I will pass them along.  Today’s daily devotional from John Piper is one of those.  The entire piece is below, including a link to the original.

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From John Piper’s Daily Devotional

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The Remedy for Pride

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. (James 4:13–16)

When you take three categories of temptation to self-reliance — wisdom, might, and riches — they form a powerful inducement toward the ultimate form of pride, namely, atheism. The safest way to stay supreme in our own estimation is to deny anything above us.

This is why the proud preoccupy themselves with looking down on others. “A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you” (C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity).

But to preserve pride, it may be simpler to proclaim that there is nothing above to look at. “In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him; all his thoughts are, ‘There is no God’” (Psalm 10:4). Ultimately, the proud must persuade themselves that there is no God.

One reason for this is that God’s reality is overwhelmingly intrusive in all the details of life. Pride cannot tolerate the intimate involvement of God in running even the ordinary affairs of life.

Pride does not like the sovereignty of God. Therefore pride does not like the existence of God, because God is sovereign. It might express this by saying, “There is no God.” Or it might express it by saying, “I am driving to Atlanta for Christmas.”

James says, “Don’t be so sure.” Instead, say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and we shall get to Atlanta for Christmas.” James’s point is that God rules over whether we get to Atlanta, and whether you live to the end of this devotional. This is extremely offensive to the self-sufficiency of pride — not even to have control over whether you get to the end of the devotional without having a stroke!

James says that not believing in the sovereign rights of God to manage the details of your future is arrogance.

The way to battle this arrogance is to yield to the sovereignty of God in all the details of life, and rest in his infallible promises to show himself mighty on our behalf (2 Chronicles 16:9), to pursue us with goodness and mercy every day (Psalm 23:6), to work for those who wait for him (Isaiah 64:4), and to equip us with all we need to live for his glory (Hebrews 13:21).

In other words, the remedy for pride is unwavering faith in God’s future grace.

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Additional reading

What the Bible Says About Heaven

Randy Alcorn’s book on Heaven

Can You Know You’re Going To Heaven?

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• Narcissisim is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” – see here.

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By the very nature of who they are, narcissists* tear down our self worth.  They do this through their condescending “scoffing”, or their need to exalt themselves at our expense.  There may be times where they flatter you – but this is just a short term tactic in order to get something.

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In order to be strong in the face of a narcissist’s tearing us down, we need to ignore the narcissist’s opinion and get our self-worth from another source.  Ultimately, the strongest foundation for a consistently positive self-worth is our own view of our value, derived from the one person really cares for us, and who doesn’t change their opinion based on their own self-centered goals.  This foundation for a strong, consistently positive self-worth is to have a clear understanding at all times about how God views you – and it is the best shield against the attacks on your self-worth which come from the N in your life.

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God has uniquely and specially made us……….

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Psalm 139:13-15

Continue reading →

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16 Therefore thus says the Lord God,

“Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a tested stone,
A costly cornerstone for the foundation, firmly placed.
He who believes in it will not be disturbed.

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The “cornerstone” reference is clearly is clearly referring to Jesus:

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Matthew 21:42 – Jesus *said to them, “Did you never read in the Scriptures, ‘The stone which the builders rejected,This became the chief corner stone; This came about from the Lord, And it is marvelous in our eyes’?

Mark 12:10 – Have you not even read this Scripture: ‘The stone which the builders rejected, This became the chief corner stone;

Luke 20:17 – But Jesus looked at them and said, “What then is this that is written: ‘The stone which the builders rejected, This became the chief corner stone’?

Acts 4:11 – He is the stone which was rejected by you, the builders, but which became the chief corner stone.

Ephesians 2:20 – having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the corner stone,

1 Peter 2:6 – For this is contained in Scripture: “Behold, I lay in Zion a choice stone, a precious corner stone, And he who believes in Him will not be disappointed.”

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Therefore, God says in Isaiah 28 that He was sending Jesus in response to the rulers in Jerusalem, whom He called scoffers.  The rulers in Jerusalem at the time of Jesus’ arrival were the religious leaders (Scribes, Pharisees, Chief Priest, etc.) – so God was clearly calling them “scoffers”.   And according to Proverbs 21:24, scoffers is one of the names for those filled with insolent pride.

“Proud”, “Haughty”, “Scoffer” are his names, who acts with insolent pride. Proverbs 21:24

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Matthew 7:16-18

¹⁶ You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thornbushes nor figs from thistles, are they? ¹⁷ So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. ¹⁸ A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit.

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They Like The Thought of Being Superior .

They Actually Think They’re Better

Sitting in the Seat of Scoffers / Narcissists as Judge .

They Refuse To Listen

Looking On Others With Contempt

They Deceive Themselves

They Never Learn

They’re Impossible To Please

Religious (Maybe), But Not Truly Moral or Righteous .

They Are Deceivers (and Liars)

Big Time Hypocrites

Making It Look Good

They’re Conflict Creators

They Lack Perspective On What’s Important

They Have Poor Judgment

They Add Fuel To Fires

Nothing But Strife

They Focus On Your Version Of Their Problem .

They Want To Be The Center of Attention

What is Narcissism

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• Narcissist is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” – see here

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3 John 1:9 – I wrote something to the church; but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, does not accept what we say.

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Matthew 7:15 – Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.

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In a very recent study discussed in the paper “FREQUENCY OF NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER IN PASTORS: A PRELIMINARY STUDY“, the researchers found a relatively higher percentage of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (“NPD”) among the clergy than in the regular population.  The study discussed the impact of the NPD pastors’ approach to ministry as well as the negative impact on their congregations.

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Continue reading →

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Proverbs 24:17-18

¹⁷ Do not rejoice when your enemy falls,
And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles;
¹⁸ Or the Lord will see it and be displeased,
And turn His anger away from him.

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As we said previously, one key to having peace in the midst of dealing with a difficult narcissist is the understanding that God is a Just Judge, and will, in the end, give to the narcissist everything that they deserve.  This trust that God will deal out the proper consequences can give us the freedom to focus on our own inner peace and happiness (which ultimately comes from Him), as well as “doing what is right” in our situation.  If we are a genuinely loving person, we will not take delight in what God does to the the narcissist – but we will be at peace with it.

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Proverbs 17:5

⁵ ……He who rejoices at calamity will not go unpunished.

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* Narcissism is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” – see here

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Psalm 31:23

²³ ……. The Lord preserves the faithful
And fully recompenses the proud doer.

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Galatians 6:7

⁷ Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.

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Jeremiah 17:10 – “I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds.

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Continue reading →