Dealing With Narcissists* – Avoiding Bitterness



Hebrews 12:15 – See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;


One of the easiest things to happen in your encounter with someone with insolent pride (aka narcissist) is to become bitter and angry.  Bitter at what they have done to you or to those close to you.  Bitter that they seem to get away with it.  Bitter that others don’t seem to recognize them for who they are.  Etc, etc.


That bitterness, while very “natural”, is also very destructive for you and others around you (“and by it many be defiled”).  So, somehow, we need to find a path for dealing with the situation and the narcissist that avoids becoming bitter.  As Hebrews 12:15 says, the antidote to bitterness is “God’s grace”.  What does this mean?  In simple terms, “God’s grace” is His provision of everything needed for a particular situation.  If we “come short of the grace of God”, we’re basically saying “I don’t need God, and I can do it on my own”.  That position, according to Hebrews 12:15 is very likely to result in our becoming bitter.


What does God’s grace (full provision) look like in dealing with a narcissist?  It would include

  • A full understanding of the narcissist
  • Wisdom regarding “why” we are in the situation
  • The ability to deal wisely and peacefully with the situation
  • The ability to be happy, independent of the circumstances


We will discuss more about how to not “come short of the grace of God” in future posts………




. * “Narcissist” is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” – see here for a further discussion





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