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19 And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
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When we are in a difficult situation, it is a natural human response to say “it’s too hard” and look for a way out. However, God promises that He will provide what we need – physically, emotionally, spiritually – commensurate to every situation, enabling us to walk the difficult road when needed. This provision and enabling is called “grace”.
[Note: there are times when the correct action is to “avoid” narcissists – this blog post refers specifically to situations when God-given commitments and responsibilities prevent us from being able to avoid the situation].
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2 Corinthians 12:9
9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
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2 Corinthians 9:8
8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed;
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Grace has been defined in various ways. The most encompassing way of understanding it is that grace is God’s free and abundant supply of everything we as humans need. This supply begins with life itself, continues with everything needed for sustaining life, and extends to the ultimate solution for our separation from God. It also includes God’s inner influence and empowerment which woos us to Him and imparts the desire and strength to endure trial and resist temptation.
Grace flows from His love for us, even when we do not deserve it (“unmerited favor”). It is a free unearned gift from God whenever it is given, it comes through Jesus by faith, and it is so great that it should result in us joyfully thanking the Lord for it’s provision. It will find it’s fulfillment in our being infinitely blessed by Him for eternity. While God’s goodness provides “common grace” (e.g. – sunshine, etc.) to everyone, there are only two requirements for receiving His specific provision (grace) for specific situations we face in life – faith and humility.
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Digging deeper into this river of God’s supply called grace…….
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It comes in many forms ……
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1 Peter 4:10
10 As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
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“Manifold”, means grace comes in many forms. This can include external things – the air we breathe, the energy God gives us, His provision of physical things we need, sending someone with a word of encouragement or help when needed, etc. It can also include internal things such as His emotional comfort of us, His strength to persevere, His providing the wisdom needed to deal with a situation, and much more.
The ways that God can and does provide for us is unlimited – “manifold”. Manifold means that whatever the need, God is there with the right thing at the right time and in the right way. Of course, the ultimate expression of His grace was His provision of Jesus as the solution to our problem of separation from Him as a result of our sin. “At the right time, Christ died for the ungodly” (Romans 5:6)
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We can get it in multiples ……
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2 Peter 1:2
2 Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord;
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We can grow in it ……
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2 Peter 3:18
18 but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory, both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.
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We can confidently ask for it ……
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Hebrews 4:16
16 Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
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We can be strong in it ……
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2 Timothy 2:1
2 You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.
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It is given to us NOT through our own merit and efforts, but through Jesus ……
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2 Timothy 1:9
9 who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity,
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Ephesians 2:8-9
8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and [a]that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.
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God abundantly provides more than what we need ……
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1 Timothy 1:14
14 and the grace of our Lord was more than abundant, with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus.
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The ultimate grace of God was His provision of Jesus as the sacrifice for our sins ……
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Ephesians 2:8-9
8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.
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Ephesians 1:7
7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace
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His free and bountiful provision reveals His excellencies (reveals His glory), resulting in us saying “Hallelujah!” (ie – “praise the Lord”) ……
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Ephesians 1:6
6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.
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His provision includes providing us with the opportunity to serve Him (and thereby have reward in Heaven) ……
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Galatians 1:15
15 But when God, who had set me apart even from my mother’s womb and called me through His grace, was pleased….
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His grace not only provides us with the opportunity to serve Him, but also provides us with everything we need to serve Him ……
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1 Corinthians 15:10
10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me.
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God gives different applications of His grace as He individually chooses ……
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Romans 12:6
6 Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith;
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The ultimate grace He gives is the gift of Himself to us ……
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Ephesians 2:4-9
4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.
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God’s grace is a powerful thing, but there’s a catch. The condition for getting God’s specific grace for a situation is that we humble ourselves.
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James 4:6-10 (also I Peter 5:5)
6 But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”…….
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LESS of OUR strength, striving, and “fixing it” means MORE of HIS provision (grace) – both internally (inside our hearts and minds and energy and strength) and externally (God working on our behalf in both small and large things).
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In the face of a narcissist’s pride, rather than us pridefully resist the N – mono e mono – and rather than humble ourselves before the N, we should humble ourselves before God – God will then give us the grace (and wisdom) for HIS response in the situation. As a result – it’s not us vs. the N. It’s us with God, and as a result, God vs. the N. A key to dealing with narcissists is to take advantage of God’s grace, whose only requirement is to be the opposite of a narcissist (humble) in order to get it.
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As you deal with the narcissist in your life, a practical suggestion is to every morning ask God to give you over-and-above grace (and wisdom) for the day.
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Philippians 4:19
19 And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
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To read further on the subject, one suggestion is “Future Grace” by John Piper.