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Obadiah 1:3
3 “The arrogance of your heart has deceived you, You who live in the clefts of the rock, In the loftiness of your dwelling place, Who say in your heart, ‘Who will bring me down to earth?’
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Narcissists / Those With Insolent Pride / Scoffers focus are naturally deceptive as to who they really are, what is really in their heart, and the nature of their real intentions. But one of the people they deceive the most is themselves. Continue reading
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19 And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
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When we are in a difficult situation, it is a natural human response to say “it’s too hard” and look for a way out. However, God promises that He will provide what we need – physically, emotionally, spiritually – commensurate to every situation, enabling us to walk the difficult road when needed. This provision and enabling is called “grace”.
[Note: there are times when the correct action is to “avoid” narcissists – this blog post refers specifically to situations when God-given commitments and responsibilities prevent us from being able to avoid the situation].
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2 Corinthians 12:9
9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
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2 Corinthians 9:8
8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed;
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Grace has been defined in various ways. The most encompassing way of understanding it is that grace is God’s free and abundant supply of everything we as humans need. This supply begins with life itself, continues with everything needed for sustaining life, and extends to the ultimate solution for our separation from God. It also includes God’s inner influence and empowerment which woos us to Him and imparts the desire and strength to endure trial and resist temptation.
Grace flows from His love for us, even when we do not deserve it (“unmerited favor”). It is a free unearned gift from God whenever it is given, it comes through Jesus by faith, and it is so great that it should result in us joyfully thanking the Lord for it’s provision. It will find it’s fulfillment in our being infinitely blessed by Him for eternity. While God’s goodness provides “common grace” (e.g. – sunshine, etc.) to everyone, there are only two requirements for receiving His specific provision (grace) for specific situations we face in life – faith and humility.
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Digging deeper into this river of God’s supply called grace……. Continue reading
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Psalm 28
To You, O Lord, I call;
My rock, do not be deaf to me,
For if You are silent to me,
I will become like those who go down to the pit.
2 Hear the voice of my supplications when I cry to You for help,
When I lift up my hands toward Your holy sanctuary..
3 Do not drag me away with the wicked
And with those who work iniquity,
Who speak peace with their neighbors,
While evil is in their hearts.
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Matthew 23:23-24
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cummin [see note], and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. 24 You blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel!
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In case you have any doubt about what God thinks of those who have the heart and actions of narcissists, Proverbs 6 makes it very clear
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Proverbs 6:16-19
16 There are six things which the Lord hates,
Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:
17 Haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
And hands that shed innocent blood,
18 A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that run rapidly to evil,
19 A false witness who utters lies,
And one who spreads strife among brothers..
Several characteristics in the above list stand out as narcissistic traits
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The bottom line is that God HATES insolent pride. It results in much harm to others, and is the single biggest barrier to the prideful person experiencing His true love and goodness.
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Sorry, I have been travelling, and am just now getting back on track.
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I just came across a good read on how Daniel wisely dealt with a big narcissist in his life, Nebuchadnezzar.
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Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.
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14 Stand firm therefore,
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having girded your loins with truth,
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Isaiah 43:1-3
43 But now, thus says the Lord, your Creator, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel,
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
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This classic, beautiful statement by God to His beloved Israel is a clear reminder to us that when God allows us to go through deep waters He will be with us in it, and that He will not allow those deep waters to overcome us.
But we might say, “that applies to Israel, and not me”. He repeats the same sentiment toward believers in Romans 8:28-39 when He says that nothing can separate us from His love.
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There is much to learn from how Jesus dealt with the narcissists of His day, the Pharisees (see here and here on how we know the Pharisees were narcissists/scoffers filled with insolent pride). It is instructive as to what He did and said in His dealings with them, but also what did not do, and did not say. It is very interesting that in some cases, rather than trying to defend against the narcissists’ actions, He put His focus on ministering to those whom the narcissists “hurt”. Here are a couple of examples: . Continue reading
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Romans 8:28-39
28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. 29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;30 and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.
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31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?
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How Jesus handled His encounters with the narcissistic* Pharisees are very instructive. The following encounter is a case in point.
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Matthew 15
15 Then some Pharisees and scribes* came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, 2 “Why do Your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat bread.” 3 And He answered and said to them, “Why do you yourselves transgress the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? 4 For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death.’ 5 But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, “Whatever I have that would help you has been given to God,” 6 he is not to honor his father or his mother.’ And by this you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition.7 You hypocrites, rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you:
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8 ‘This people honors Me with their lips,
But their heart is far away from Me.
9 ‘But in vain do they worship Me,
Teaching as doctrines the precepts of men.’”
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I had lunch with a friend a couple of weeks ago, who told me a moving story that underscores the importance of simply crying out to the Lord in times of trouble.
The friend’s mother was a serial “marry-er”, who was also on a quest for “power”. When he was young she was involved in witchcraft as a means of experiencing more power. He did not know his father at all. At one point he threw out all of his toys, because they were “talking to him” (demonic activity in his room).
His mom did occasionally go to church, so my friend had some awareness of Jesus. At one point sometime before age 8 he was so desperate he cried out “Jesus, SAVE ME!”. He believes that not only did he become a genuine Christian then, but the Lord took that cry for help and did much more.
At age eight his mom took him to a particular church down the street just one time in order to impress her current boyfriend. She did not go back, but he continued to go. After awhile a lady in the church noticed that he was always there by himself, and took him under her wing, picking him up for events, paying for him to go to camp, and more. At age 18, the pastor of the church started mentoring him further. Even though he had no earthly prospects for proper guidance in his life, Jesus provided. Later, God has blessed him further through having his own family and a prosperous business.
In response to my friend’s cry, Jesus saved him on several levels – not only for eternity, but also out of his seemingly impossible circumstances.
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For more on the importance of looking to the Lord for help, please see Dealing With Narcissists – Crying Out Seeking God and Dealing With Narcissists – Crying Out Seeking God Continued
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I prefer to have blog entries “locked down” before publishing, but in this case I felt it best to go with my work in progress of analyzing the difficult question of how someone might become a narcissist. This is an extra special case of “Putting “Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism” Into Perspective“, where this post should be taken simply as a fellow searcher sharing some thoughts and analysis which you could possibly use as a starting point for your own study rather than looking to it for “the answer”. Some of the following adds a bit of Biblical perspective to what is already discussed in secular literature.
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How does someone become a narcissist? In It’s Not NPD, It’s A Heart Issue, narcissism is discussed as a heart issue, but how does this happen? I am currently working through five possible reasons someone can become a narcissist. The following has to be considered in light of God’s ultimate Sovereignty as described in Proverbs 16:4, as well as the sin nature and pride inherent in every man. I want to emphasize again that this post is a work in progress, and should just be taken as food for thought.
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The five causes we’re considering are:
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These causes are likely interconnected in many cases. Let’s look at each of the five in a bit more detail.
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“The Lord will again take delight in prospering you.” (Deuteronomy 30:9)
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“God does not bless us begrudgingly. There is a kind of eagerness about the beneficence of God. He does not wait for us to come to him. He seeks us out, because it is his pleasure to do us good. God is not waiting for us; he is pursuing us. That, in fact, is the literal translation of Psalm 23:6, “Surely goodness and mercy shall pursue me all the days of my life.”
“God loves to show mercy. Let me say it again. God loves to show mercy. He is not hesitant or indecisive or tentative in his desires to do good to his people. His anger must be released by a stiff safety lock, but his mercy has a hair trigger. That’s what he meant when he came down on Mount Sinai and said to Moses, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love” (Exodus 34:6). It’s what he meant when he said in Jeremiah 9:24, “I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.”
“God is never irritable or edgy. His anger never has a short fuse. Instead he is infinitely energetic with absolutely unbounded and unending enthusiasm for the fulfillment of his delights.
“This is hard for us to comprehend, because we have to sleep every day just to cope, not to mention thrive. Our emotions go up and down. We get bored and discouraged one day and feel hopeful and excited another.
“We are like little geysers that gurgle and sputter and pop erratically. But God is like a great Niagara Falls — you look at 186,000 tons of water crashing over the precipice every minute, and think: Surely this can’t keep going at this force year after year after year. Yet it does.
“That’s the way God is about doing us good. He never grows weary of it. It never gets boring to him. The Niagara of his grace has no end.”
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Devotional excerpted from John Piper’s book, “The Pleasures of God”
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As I mentioned previously, the book “Boundlessly Good” is a modernized version of Stephen Charnock’s classic chapter on the goodness of God. As this blog has publishing rights to that book, I have created a second blog that gives small excerpts from the book every few days. It is a way to read the key excerpts from Boundlessly Good in bite size chunks, and thus rather painlessly read a Christian classic over time.
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The blog is called “Boundlessly Good”. I invite you to take a look.
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