The Biblical Perspective on Narcissism* = Hearts + Relationships


Another way to view our dealings with narcissists* is as a 3-way relationship.  Yes, it mostly feels as though it is “us vs. them”, and that we need to struggle through dealing with these difficult people on our own.  And while there is some truth to that, we will not be able to have full success in dealing with them until we understand God’s involvement in the equation (see here and here).    So, while we may succeed on our own in applying solid tactics in our dealings with the narcissist – which may definitely help us maintain sanity – we will not be able to achieve the full level of “victory” in our lives that is possible without bringing God into the equation.


The following diagram illustrates the 4 relationship dynamics involved in our dealing with narcissists:

  1. Us with the narcissist
  2. God with the narcissist
  3. God with us

NRel 5.1

…….. and God with us and the narcissist, AS we deal with the narcissist

NRel 5.2

It is important to recognize that Our / The Narcissist’s / God’s actions flow out of WHO each of us is on the inside – God, the narcissist, and us.  So, not only do we need to understand the inner workings of the narcissist, but ourselves as well.  And, to truly understand God’s actions in this equation, we need to better understand His nature, how He feels toward us and the narcissist, and His ability to act.


We will be using this template going forward as a tool and further roadmap to help organize and wade through our more difficult discussions on “why”, as well as breaking through to ultimate victory in this most difficult of relationships.



* Narcissism is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” (see here)

4 responses

  1. I have a great deal of trouble seeing God as loving, because I don’t see where He was in my childhood with an N/abusive mom and passive dad. I don’t know who wrote these blog posts but I am praying that I might comfort in one of these posts, or rather, in the Scripture used.

  2. Thank you so much for writing this website and sharing with the world what the Lord has shown you. I read it all and it has helped me immensely. I’d been looking for ways to deal with a N in my life and all the secular world would say was “break up with him”. But I know what the Lord can do,because I’ve seen Him change me a lot over the years, and I’ve even seen the N change too. So thank you for making the point that with God anything is possible. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who thinks that way. Your suggestions helped a lot too. I think at the end of the day it’s all about being assertive and drawaing lines with the N (as you’ve mentioned).
    If you have a paypal account or some other way to receive money, I’d like to give you a small donation in exchange for your help. Feel free to contact me if you’d like to receive that.
    Alternatively, I’m including the URL of my social enterprise startup. I can give you a discount on any of the products or services if you are interested.
    Thanks again and have a great weekend.

    • Thank you so much for your words of encouragement, Maria. That’s all the payment I need 🙂


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