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Click here for the road map on this discussion about Why God Allows Narcissists* To Wreak Havoc
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Ephesians 1:8-12
8 ….. In all wisdom and insight 9 He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He (God) purposed in Him (Jesus) ……..11 …… who (God) works all things after the counsel of His will, 12 to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory.
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God’s will is based on a loving purpose (“kind intention”). That loving purpose is based on His inherent nature (“God is love” – 1 John 4:8). And He executes everything, down to the tiniest detail, according to the plan which he has created (“works all things after the counsel of His will”).
The end of all of it is that we will praise Him for his manifold excellence (“praise of His glory”) which He has shown in every possible way – and of which we have been made a prime beneficiary.
When we ask Why He is allowing a Narcissist to wreak havoc in our lives, we can be sure that it is not just some random thing going on – there is a much bigger plan in play, and the essence of that plan is love.
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To work this through more deeply……..
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In the very beginning – eternity past, before anything was created – was God
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John 1:1-3
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being.
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Revelation 22:13
13 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.”
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Who is God?….. when Moses asked this question, God’s response was simply “I AM” = I exist. There is no greater explanation than that.
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Exodus 3:13-14
13 Then Moses said to God, “Behold, I am going to the sons of Israel, and I will say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you.’ Now they may say to me, ‘What is His name?’ What shall I say to them?” 14 God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM”; and He said, “Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”
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God has a divine nature and unlimited power that is evident to us through simply looking up at the universe, as well as observing the rest of creation. In fact, creation is one of the “settings” for his plan of love to take place, in addition to being an ever-present revelation to the nature and power of God.
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Romans 1:20
20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse.
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God’s divine nature includes His character – God is loving, just, holy, wise, gracious, compassionate, merciful, kind, forgiving, long suffering, slow to anger, faithful and more. These are more than just traits, but the core of who He is – “God IS love” (I John 4:9).
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God is totally satisfied and fulfilled in Himself – HE did not ever, and still does not need anything:
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Acts 17:23-27
23 For while I was passing through and examining the objects of your worship, I also found an altar with this inscription, ‘TO AN UNKNOWN GOD.’ Therefore what you worship in ignorance, this I proclaim to you.24 The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; 25 nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; 26 and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, 27 that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us;
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If God does not need anything – and is fully satisfied in Himself – we can surmise that His initiatives and actions are not based upon fulfilling His own need, or trying to get something back in return (why would He?, He does not need it). So, what drives what God is doing?
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God is simply being who He is. His actions and initiatives flow from His core nature. He has acted and is acting based on what is in His heart – and His power is such that He can simply speak His will to become reality. His actions are not random, but based on plans.
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Psalm 33:6-11
6 By the word of the Lord the heavens were made,
And by the breath of His mouth all their host…….
9 For He spoke, and it was done;
He commanded, and it stood fast……….
11 The counsel of the Lord stands forever,
The plans of His heart from generation to generation……
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Isaiah 25:1
25 O Lord, You are my God;
I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name;
For You have worked wonders,
Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness..
His plans were formed long before He started working (“long ago” is a typical Biblical understatement for eternity past). And His plans were completely consistent with His nature (“perfect faithfulness”).
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Since His very nature and being is love (“God is Love” I John 4:8), a central part of his plan would be the fullest possible expression of His love. It would also at the same time be the fullest possible expression of the rest of His divine nature – holiness, patience, mercy, justice, faithfulness, wisdom, creativity, etc.
When God made a plan to fully express Himself, He could have done anything – the possibilities were endless. But He wisely and carefully created the plan which would most fully and consistently express His nature – including His essential nature of love.
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The way that we know that the plan that He created mostly fully expressed His inward nature of love is by His explanation on what “the greatest love is”, and by His actually showing His love in that very same way – to give up or lay down one’s life for another.
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John 15:13
13 (Jesus said) greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
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But God took it even further – instead of dying for His friends, He died for His enemies (sinners)
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Romans 5:7-8
7 For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
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So, the central, focal, pivot point of His plan was to express His nature of love in the fullest way possible – an infinitely holy God dying to save creatures (people) whom He had created and blessed, and who had rejected and rebelled against Him. Everything leading up to this focal point (all of creation), and resulting from this focal point (people’s acceptance or rejection, and the resulting wonderful or terrible eternal consequences) were designed by God as part of a plan with a goal of love.
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There are real implications to this with regard to how we view the narcissist in our lives. Did it happen randomly? Or are there reasons for it in keeping with a broader picture, which is not at all clear to us, but crystal clear to God?
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When we are in the middle of wrestling with a narcissist in our life, we may simply want relief – but willingness to pursue a deeper understanding can ultimately lead to the relief we are seeking.
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Romans 11:36
36 For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.
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- Narcissism is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride” – see here
- See here for more on how to know God personally