Dealing With Narcissists* – Avoid Them

May 3, 2014 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

.

2 Timothy 3:1-5

3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. ²For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, ³unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, ⁴treacherous,reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, ⁵holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.

One possible action for dealing with narcissists is to simply stay away from them. This is not always possible, and at times may not even be the correct action (see here for a discussion of selecting the proper response at the proper time). But there are times when it is appropriate to avoid a narcissist / scoffer. We will discuss when it is appropriate at a later time.

Note: It is very important that actions to deal with narcissists / scoffers are appropriate for the particular situation. Please see here for a further discussion. “Avoiding them” might be most applicable as follows:

Dealing With Narcissists – “Avoid Them”

* Narcissist is the modern colloquial term for what the Bible calls “insolent pride”. Please see here for an explanation.

Dealing With Narcissists – It Depends on the Relationship

April 9, 2014 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

As we continue to explore how to Biblically and effectively deal with the Narcissists / Scoffers / Those with Insolent Pride in our lives, it is important to realize that not every verse applies to every situation. An analogy from the world of construction is the importance of using the proper tool that was designed for a specific task. For example:

Proverbs 22:10 – Drive out the scoffer, and contention will go out, Even strife and dishonor will cease.

.

(We discussed here and here how scoffers are narcissists). While this verse applies very well in some situations, it would not be appropriate to apply in the case of one of your children at home. So, your relationship to the Narcissist in question will have a big impact on how to appropriately apply scripture to the particular situation. Going forward, we will use the following framework for understanding how scripture applies in dealing with narcissists:

Narcissist Tactics – How They Attack

March 22, 2014 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

Psalm 56:1-6 (NASB)

56 Be gracious to me, O God, for man has trampled upon me;
Fighting all day long he oppresses me.
2 My foes have trampled upon me all day long,
For they are many who fight proudly against me.
3 When I am afraid,
I will put my trust in You.
4 In God, whose word I praise,
In God I have put my trust;
I shall not be afraid.
What can mere man do to me?
5 All day long they distort my words;
All their thoughts are against me for evil.
6 They attack, they lurk,
They watch my steps,
As they have waited to take my life.

I am still pondering this, so the following is a “work in progress’

This sounds like a Messianic Psalm – where at one level David is talking about his own situation, but at a prophetic level God is referring to the Pharisees vs. Jesus. If that’s the case, we saw from

http://biblicalperspectivesonnarcissism.com/2013/12/21/narcissist-case-studies-pharisees-foundations/

http://biblicalperspectivesonnarcissims.com/2014/03/03/narcissist-case-studies-pharisees-how-we-know-they-were-narcissists-part-2/

that the Pharisees were filled with insolent pride, were scoffers, and in today’s terminology were narcissists. Here are some key traits and tactics:

Fighting all day long he oppresses me.

The Pharisees (narcissists) made their fight against Jesus almost a full time occupation.

For they are many who fight proudly against me.

The fight was a fight to gain supremacy

5 All day long they distort my words;
All their thoughts are against me for evil.
6 They attack, they lurk,
They watch my steps,
As they have waited to take my life.

This describes pretty clearly how the narcissistic Pharisees approached things in their fight against Jesus – distorting his words, thinking “evilly” on how they could take him on, lurking and watching until they could see an opportunity to destroy him. So, to summarize traits and tactics of a narcissist who has decided to destroy you:

He will totally obsesse about destroying you
He will distort most of what you say
His thoughts toward you will only be evil thoughts on how he can destroy – he will not think any positive thoughts toward you (part of his obsession to destroy you)
He will attack you when he can, but he will also lurk, watch, and wait for the right opportunity to stick in the proverbial knife

——————————————

But, as we will discuss more in the future, ultimately we have to trust Him for protection from this kind of attack

Psalm 56:11 – In God I have put my [a]trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?

and

Psalm 127:1 (NASB) – Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain.

Narcissistic Traits – They’re Conflict Creators

February 15, 2014 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

Proverbs 21:24 – “Drive out the scoffer and contention will go out, even strife and dishonor will cease.”

For “contention”, “strife”, and “dishonor” to stop when a scoffer (narcissist) leaves the scene means that they were major sources of the conflict to begin with.

Being a conflict creator is a narcissist trait, but is also a tactic a narcissist uses to get what they want.

——————————————————————————————

From http://narc-attack.blogspot.ae/2008/03/narcissists-and-conflict.html

Narcissists and Conflict

One simple but easy-to-forget thing about narcissists is that, unlike normal people, they don’t mind conflict. They enjoy it.

Conflict makes normal people uncomfortable. We try to minimize it in our dealings with others. Oddly, we love it in fiction (Conflict is the gunpowder of fiction, and it’s near relative – controversy – is the gunpowder of journalism. Maintaining constant conflict is the secret to storytelling success). But note that this is “safe” conflict. In real life we hate what we love to see characters go through in fiction.

Narcissists have a whole different attitude toward conflict. They use it strategically to manipulate. They seek conflict. They become impossible people, flying into conflict with you over anything you think, say, do, feel, or wear. As if THEY have the right to determine what you say, think, do, feel, or wear.

Narcissist Case Studies – Pharisees – How We Know They Were Narcissists, Part I

December 21, 2013 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

How do we know that Pharisees and especially their leaders the Chief Priests were full of insolent pride (Narcissists)? There are three ways:

Verses that directly refer to their insolent pride
Compare the traits and tactics of the Pharisees with what the Bible says about Narcissist traits and tactics
Compare the traits and tactics of the Pharisees with what the secular literature says about Narcissist traits and tactics

Number 1 above is by far the best – direct statements and linkages from the Bible. Number 2 above lends itself to circular reasoning – so it can be used, but best in conjunction with number 1. Number 3 would be similar to seeing someone in the news – lets say Kim Kardashian and Chris Jenner, and say “they’re obviously a narcissist” – but in this case the narcissist’s behavior is being reported “in print” by the Bible instead of today’s news.

There is no verse that outright says “the Pharisees were filled with insolent pride”. However, this comes close:

Luke 18:9-14

The Pharisee and the Publican

9 And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing some distance away,was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

.

The key phrases that infer that this Pharisee had insolent pride:

“Who trusted in themselves”

The essence of pride

“Viewed others with contempt”

The essence of insolence

“Praying this to himself”

He saw himself as the center of his universe, not God

“for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

.

Jesus linked all of the above with the Pharisee exalting himself in pride.

Especially through his ending statement in this story, Jesus was confirming that this Pharisee was exalting himself, the essence of pride.

Jesus began with the phrase “some people” – not all Pharisees were this way. But on the other hand by using a Pharisee as the example, he was making a point about the pride of the Pharisees as a group.

“Proud”, “Haughty”, “Scoffer” are his names, who acts with insolent pride. Proverbs 21:24

Since we can say as a group that the Pharisees were filled with insolent pride, we can now take key elements of the Pharisees’ behavior and look for clues on Narcissists traits and tactics.

Narcissism and the Sovereignty of God – Intro

November 23, 2013 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

Psalm 103:19

The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, And His sovereignty rules over all.

Narcissists can be very, very harmful to others. They can be harmful to “the work”, whatever work that may be – whether in an office, ministry, mission field, etc. This harm results from their putting their needs above the needs of others.

There are ways to deal with narcissists to try to mitigate or reduce the damage. But there are times – in the case of Haman in the book of Esther, for example – where the narcissist is in such a position of power over you that you have no choice but to trust God’s loving sovereignty in the situation.

This is a big subject. And it has to do with the difficult question of why God allows,evil in the world. And how He uses it for our good.

But, its something that has to be discussed in a biblical review of narcissism. And that’s the subject of this section.

Narcissist* Traits – They Like The Thought of Being Superior

November 23, 2013 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

.

Proverbs 1:22

“How long, O naive ones, will you love being simple-minded? And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing And fools hate knowledge?”

.

The secular literature discusses in depth about how narcissists become narcissists, and why they are the way they are. We will explore these in future posts. Some people believe that they are compensating for something. But a recent study has found that narcissists do think of themselves as superior, even if others don’t view them in the same way. The study went on to say that narcissists pretty much like themselves the way they are. Other writings have indicated that it isn’t until there is a drastic consequence arising from a person’s narcissism that they will even entertain the idea that something needs to change.

This finding is consistent with Proverbs 1:22’s indication that “scoffers delight themselves in scoffing”. As a reminder, the term “scoffer” is one of the “names” given to those with insolent pride, which is a Biblical term for narcissists. See here.

Narcissism Case Studies – the Pharisees, Overview

October 25, 2013 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

One of the prime examples of narcissists in the Bible are the Pharisees. Over many, many entries we will not only look at their narcissistic traits, but also how Jesus dealt with them. We’re looking for clues for how to successfully identify and deal with narcissists (insolent pride), but will also gain some heavenly insights in the process.

But, it would be good to read a key passage in its entirety, before we start parsing it. I have highlighted some key phrases which tip us off that we’re looking at narcissists when we look at the Pharisees. Of course, we should understand that a Pharisee was a type of official position, not a person per se. So, not every Pharisee was a narcissist – and there are examples of Pharisees who came to Jesus as genuine seekers. But many, if not most, were.

Matthew 23

23 Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples, 2 saying: “The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses; 3 therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds; for they say things and do not do them. 4 They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger.

[This is an example of a scoffer – Psalm 1 “sitting in the seat of scoffers”. Narcissists’ (insolent pride) goal is to lord it over others, to make others jump through hoops in order to prove that the narcissist is King, numero uno. The best way is to be the one to set the rules and then judge others as to whether they follow the rules or not. Secular literature describes the narcissist trait of believing rules are for the “little people”, and not for them. This is a classic example of that.

But it goes further than that. Narcissists (insolent pride) don’t really care about what rules they’re setting up for others – the more important issue is that they are the King who makes the rules and others are to follow. But this is why dealing with narcissists is so dangerous – their actions are totally arbitrary. Even if you do jump through some hoop (rule) that they set up and get to you to jump through, as soon as you have done that they can easily set up a different, even opposite rule and have you jump through that. Because their main point is getting you to jump through their hoop, whatever they decide it to be at that moment.]

5 But they do all their deeds to be noticed by men; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments. 6 They love the place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues, 7 and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called Rabbi by men.

[Narcissists’ (insolent pride) whole goal is to be number 1, honored and glorified by others. So, to get there they MUST look good in the eyes of others, and have that rewarded by receiving the honor due them.]

8 But do not be called Rabbi; for One is your Teacher, and you are all brothers.9 Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven. 10 Do not be called leaders; for One is your Leader, that is, Christ. 11 But the greatest among you shall be your servant. 12 Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.

[Jesus tells us God’s way – humility vs. pride, serving vs. being honored. More on this important key to successful living in other posts]

Eight Woes

13 “But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you shut off the kingdom of heaven from people; for you do not enter in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in.14 Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you devour widows’ houses, and for a pretense you make long prayers; therefore you will receive greater condemnation.

[Narcissists put on a show. The Pharisees’ long prayers was all about the show, it had nothing to do with actually communicating with God]

15 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you travel around on sea and land to make one proselyte; and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves.

.

16 “Woe to you, blind guides, who say, ‘Whoever swears by the temple, that is nothing; but whoever swears by the gold of the [i]temple is obligated.’ 17 You fools and blind men! Which is more important, the gold or the temple that sanctified the gold? 18 And, ‘Whoever swears by the altar,that is nothing, but whoever swears by the offering on it, he is obligated.’ 19 You blind men, which is more important, the offering, or the altar that sanctifies the offering? 20 Therefore, whoever swears by the altar, swears both by the altar and by everything on it. 21 And whoever swears by the temple, swears both by the temple and by Him who dwells within it. 22 And whoever swears by heaven, swears both by the throne of God and by Him who sits upon it.

.

23 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. 24 You blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel!

[One of the secular comments on narcissists is that they lack a sense of proportion – for example, they will work through the night on something that isn’t very useful. Jesus was confirming this about the Pharisees, but the above statement also implies that their focus on the little details was a means of avoiding obligations and escaping responsibility for the larger, more important moral requirements.]

25 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence. 26 You blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the cup and of the dish, so that the outside of it may become clean also. 27 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. 28 So you, too, outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

[Narcissists (insolent pride) make it look good. But what’s going on their hearts is a whole other matter. Ultimately, of course, what’s in their heart will come out. “The mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart”. (Matt 12:34)]

29 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you build the tombs of the prophets and adorn the monuments of the righteous, 30 and say, ‘If we had been living in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partners with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’

[This is a classic narcissist (insolent pride) approach…… with comments like “well, I never would have done that”]

31 So you testify against yourselves, that you are sons of those who murdered the prophets. 32 Fill up, then, the measure of the guilt of your fathers. 33 You serpents, you brood of vipers, how will you escape the sentence of hell?

Narcissism Case Studies in the Bible

October 21, 2013 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

Here is a list of Biblical case studies of potential narcissists (insolent pride) which we will be looking into going forward:

King Saul
Nebuchadnezzar
Haman
Pharisees
Diotrophes

….. and more.

How do we know that these are narcissists? There are 2 ways:

Cross-references and linking words or concepts

Proverbs 21:24

24 “Proud,” “Haughty,” “Scoffer,” are his names, who acts with insolent pride.

.

By clear evidence of their characteristics, traits, actions, fruit……………..

Matthew 7:16-17

15 “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? 17 So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit.

How To Deal With Narcissists – Introduction

October 19, 2013 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

We have been searching out Biblical wisdom of what narcissism is (insolent pride), what narcissists look like (characteristics, traits), and how they operate (their tactics). And understanding what we are facing is always the first step to dealing with it. But most of those reading this blog are also likely searching out how to deal with these difficult people – otherwise you would not have found your way here. The Bible speaks to this as well.

The consensus in the secular literature is that we should run for the hills when faced with a narcissist – low contact, no contact, etc. And there are portions of scripture that address this. But we should also remember that God redeems people and situations and says we are to overcome evil by doing good (Romans 12). How this might work out in our “real world” will be an important discussion. So, this section over time will attempt to search out answers on both tracks”.

“Scoffer” – More Hebrew Words on Narcissists from Proverbs 21:24

October 18, 2013 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

The ultimate goal of this blog is to understand narcissism and how to deal with it from not just the secular literature, but more importantly from a biblical perspective. There are many areas in common between the Bible and secular literature in defining narcissists and how to deal with them. But there are also areas of difference which we will see later.

“Proud”, “Haughty”, “Scoffer” are his names, who acts with insolent pride. Proverbs 21:24 (NASB)

To expand on Proverbs 21:24 in defining a narcissist (“Proud, Haughty, Scoffer are his names who acts with insolent pride”), we need to further expand the definition of the “names – Proud, Haughty, Scoffer”, just as we expanded “insolent pride” from http://insolentpride.blogspot.jp/2013/10/insolent-pride-hebrew-word.html . Following is the breakdown of the word “scoffer” from http://biblesuite.com/hebrew/3887.htm.

luts: ambassador, have in derision, interpreter, make a mock, mocker

Original Word: לִיץ

Part of Speech: Verb

Transliteration: luts

Phonetic Spelling: (loots)

Short Definition: ambassador

Word Origin

the same as lits, q.v.

[לִיץ] verb scorn (Late Hebrew id.; verb not in cognates; compare Phoenician מלץ interpreter CIS²²; CIS⁴⁴; CIS⁸⁸; Arabic is turn aside (intransitive); hence perhaps properly speak indirectly or obliquely, Fl^{De Pr.1, 6}); —Qal Perfect3masculine לַצְתָּ Proverbs 9:12; Imperfect יָלִיץ Proverbs 3:34 2t.; Participle לֵץ Proverbs 9:711t.; plural לֵצִים Psalm 1:1 3t.; — scorn, וְלַצְתָּ לְבַדְּךָ תִשָּׂא Proverbs 9:12 if thou scornest thou alone shalt bear it (opposed to חָכַמְתָּ), with accusative Proverbs 14:9; Proverbs 19:28; with לְ, לַלֵּצִים הוּאיָֿלִיץscorners he (God) scorneth Proverbs 3:34; הַלֵּץ the scorner is proud and haughty Proverbs 21:24, delights in scorning Proverbs 1:22, is incapable of discipline Proverbs 9:7, reproof Proverbs 9:8; is Proverbs 15:12, or rebuke is Proverbs 13:1, cannot find wisdom Proverbs 14:6; is an abomination Proverbs 24:9, should be avoided Psalm 1:1; smitten and punished for the benefit of the simple Proverbs 19:25; Proverbs 21:11 and banished for the removal of contention Proverbs 22:10; judgment is prepared for him Proverbs 19:29; “” עָרִיץIsaiah 29:20; wine is a scorner Proverbs 20:1. —

Hiph`il Perfect3masculine plural suffix הֱלִיצֻנִי Psalm 119:51; Participle מֵלִיץ Genesis 42:23; Job 33:23; plural construct מְלִיצֵי2Chronicles 32:31; suffix מְלִיצַי Job 16:20; מְלִיצֶיךָ Isaiah 43:27; —

1 deride Job 16:20; Psalm 119:51.

2 Participle interpreter Genesis 42:23 (E); figurative of intermediaries between God and man, Job 33:28;Isaiah 43:27; ambassador2Chronicles 32:31.

Po`lel Participle plural לֹצֲצִים (מְ dropped Kö^{ii. 479}) scorners Hosea 7:5.

Hithpa`el Imperfect תִּתְלוֺצָ֑צוּ act as a scorner, shew oneself a mocker, Isaiah 28:22.

ambassador, have in derision, interpreter, make a mock, mocker

A primitive root; properly, to make mouths at, i.e. To scoff; hence (from the effort to pronounce a foreign language) to interpret, or (generally) intercede — ambassador, have in derision, interpreter, make a mock, mocker, scorn(-er, -ful), teacher.

בִּמְלִיצֵ֣י ׀ במליצי הֱלִיצֻ֣נִי הַמֵּלִ֖יץ הליצני המליץ וְ֝לֵ֗ץ וְ֝לַ֗צְתָּ וְלֵצִ֗ים וּמְלִיצֶ֖יךָ ולץ ולצים ולצת ומליציך יָלִ֑יץ יָלִ֣יץ יליץ לֵ֑ץ לֵ֗ץ לֵ֝צִ֗ים לֵ֣ץ לֵ֭ץ לֵֽץ׃ לַלֵּצִ֣ים לַלֵּצִ֥ים ללצים לץ לץ׃ לצים מְלִיצַ֥י מֵלִ֗יץ מליץ מליצי תִּתְלוֹצָ֔צוּ תתלוצצו bim·lî·ṣê bimlîṣê bimliTzei ham·mê·lîṣ hammêlîṣ hammeLitz hĕ·lî·ṣu·nî hĕlîṣunî heliTzuni lal·lê·ṣîm lallêṣîm lalleTzim lê·ṣîm lêṣ lêṣîm Letz leTzim mə·lî·ṣay mê·lîṣ mêlîṣ məlîṣay meLitz meliTzai tiṯ·lō·w·ṣā·ṣū titloTzatzu tiṯlōwṣāṣū ū·mə·lî·ṣe·ḵā ūməlîṣeḵā umeliTzeicha veLatzta veLetz veleTzim wə·laṣ·tā wə·lê·ṣîm wə·lêṣ wəlaṣtā wəlêṣ wəlêṣîm yā·lîṣ yālîṣ, ya litz

Strong’s Hebrew 3887
27 Occurrencesbim·lî·ṣê — 1 Occ.

tiṯ·lō·w·ṣā·ṣū — 1 Occ.

ū·mə·lî·ṣe·ḵā — 1 Occ.

Genesis 42:23

BIB: יוֹסֵ֑ף כִּ֥י הַמֵּלִ֖יץ בֵּינֹתָֽם׃

KJV: understood [them]; for he spake unto them by an interpreter.

INT: Joseph by an interpreterbetween2 Chronicles 32:31

BIB: וְכֵ֞ן בִּמְלִיצֵ֣י ׀ שָׂרֵ֣י בָּבֶ֗ל

KJV: Howbeit in [the business of] the ambassadors of the princes

INT: Even the ambassadors of the rulers of Babylon

Job 16:20

BIB: מְלִיצַ֥י רֵעָ֑י אֶל־

KJV: My friends scorn me: [but] mine eye

INT: scorn my friends to

Job 33:23

BIB: עָלָ֨יו ׀ מַלְאָ֗ךְ מֵלִ֗יץ אֶחָ֥ד מִנִּי־

KJV: be a messenger with him, an interpreter, one

INT: and is an angel an interpreter One out

Psalm 1:1

BIB: עָמָ֑ד וּבְמוֹשַׁ֥ב לֵ֝צִ֗ים לֹ֣א יָשָֽׁב׃

KJV: in the seat of the scornful.

INT: stand the seat of the scornful Nor sit

Psalm 119:51

BIB: זֵ֭דִים הֱלִיצֻ֣נִי עַד־ מְאֹ֑ד

KJV: have had me greatly in derision: [yet] have I not declined

INT: the arrogant derisionagainst greatly

Proverbs 1:22

BIB: תְּֽאֵהֲב֫וּ פֶ֥תִי וְלֵצִ֗ים לָ֭צוֹן חָמְד֣וּ

KJV: simplicity? and the scorners delight

INT: love ones ambassadorscoffing delight

Proverbs 3:34

BIB: אִם־ לַלֵּצִ֥ים הֽוּא־ יָלִ֑יץ

KJV: Surely he scorneth the scorners:

INT: Though scorneth he the scorners

Proverbs 3:34

BIB: לַלֵּצִ֥ים הֽוּא־ יָלִ֑יץ [וְלַעֲנִיִּים כ]

KJV: Surely he scorneth the scorners: but he giveth

INT: scorneth he the scornersafflicted gives

Proverbs 9:7

BIB: יֹ֤סֵ֨ר ׀ לֵ֗ץ לֹקֵ֣חַֽ ל֣וֹ

KJV: He that reproveth a scorner getteth

INT: corrects A scorner gets dishonor

Proverbs 9:8

BIB: אַל־ תּ֣וֹכַח לֵ֭ץ פֶּן־ יִשְׂנָאֶ֑ךָּ

KJV: Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate

INT: not reprove A scorner or will hate

Proverbs 9:12

BIB: חָכַ֣מְתָּ לָּ֑ךְ וְ֝לַ֗צְתָּ לְֽבַדְּךָ֥ תִשָּֽׂא׃

KJV: thou shalt be wise for thyself: but [if] thou scornest,thou alone shalt bear

INT: are wise are wise scornestalone will bear

Proverbs 13:1

BIB: מ֣וּסַר אָ֑ב וְ֝לֵ֗ץ לֹא־ שָׁמַ֥ע

KJV: instruction: but a scornerheareth

INT: discipline father’s A scornerdoes not listen

Proverbs 14:6

BIB: בִּקֶּשׁ־ לֵ֣ץ חָכְמָ֣ה וָאָ֑יִן

KJV: A scorner seeketh wisdom,

INT: seeks A scorner wisdom and none

Proverbs 14:9

BIB: אֱ֭וִלִים יָלִ֣יץ אָשָׁ֑ם וּבֵ֖ין

KJV: Fools make a mock at sin:

INT: Fools A mock sin among

Proverbs 15:12

BIB: לֹ֣א יֶאֱהַב־ לֵ֭ץ הוֹכֵ֣חַֽ ל֑וֹ

KJV: A scorner loveth

INT: does not love A scornerreproves to

Proverbs 19:25

BIB: לֵ֣ץ תַּ֭כֶּה וּפֶ֣תִי

KJV: Smite a scorner, and the simple

INT: A scorner Strike and the naive

Proverbs 19:28

BIB: עֵ֣ד בְּ֭לִיַּעַל יָלִ֣יץ מִשְׁפָּ֑ט וּפִ֥י

KJV: witness scornethjudgment:

INT: witness A rascally scornethof justice and the mouth

Proverbs 19:29

BIB: נָכ֣וֹנוּ לַלֵּצִ֣ים שְׁפָטִ֑ים וּ֝מַהֲלֻמ֗וֹת

KJV: are prepared for scorners,and stripes

INT: are prepared scornersJudgments and blows

Proverbs 20:1

BIB: לֵ֣ץ הַ֭יַּין הֹמֶ֣ה

KJV: Wine [is] a mocker, strong drink

INT: a mocker Wine A brawler

Proverbs 21:11

BIB: בַּעְנָשׁ־ לֵ֭ץ יֶחְכַּם־ פֶּ֑תִי

KJV: When the scorner is punished,

INT: is punished the scornerbecomes the naive

Proverbs 21:24

BIB: זֵ֣ד יָ֭הִיר לֵ֣ץ שְׁמ֑וֹ ע֝וֹשֶׂ֗ה

KJV: [and] haughty scorner [is] his name,

INT: Proud Haughty scorner are his names acts

Proverbs 22:10

BIB: גָּ֣רֵֽשׁ לֵ֭ץ וְיֵצֵ֣א מָד֑וֹן

KJV: Cast out the scorner, and contention

INT: Drive the scorner will go and contention

Proverbs 24:9

BIB: וְתוֹעֲבַ֖ת לְאָדָ֣ם לֵֽץ׃

KJV: [is] sin: and the scorner [is] an abomination

INT: is an abomination to menand the scorner

Isaiah 28:22

BIB: וְעַתָּה֙ אַל־ תִּתְלוֹצָ֔צוּ פֶּֽן־ יֶחְזְק֖וּ

KJV: Now therefore be ye not mockers, lest your bands

INT: and now nay mockers Or will be made

27 Occurrences

“Haughty” – More Hebrew Words on Narcissists from Proverbs 21:24

October 18, 2013 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

“Proud”, “Haughty”, “Scoffer” are his names, who acts with insolent pride. Proverbs 21:24 (NASB)

To expand on Proverbs 21:24 in defining a narcissist (“Proud, Haughty, Scoffer are his names who acts with insolent pride”), we need to further expand the definition of the “names – Proud, Haughty, Scoffer”, just as we expanded “insolent pride” from http://insolentpride.blogspot.jp/2013/10/insolent-pride-hebrew-word.html . Following is the breakdown of the word “proud” from http://biblesuite.com/hebrew/3093.htm.

yahir: proud, haughty

Original Word: יָהִיר

Part of Speech: Adjective

Transliteration: yahir

Phonetic Spelling: (yaw-here’)

Short Definition: haughty

Word Origin

from an unused word

Definition

proud, haughty

NASB Translation

haughty (2).

Strong’s Hebrew 3093
2 Occurrencesyā·hîr — 2 Occ.Proverbs 21:24 BIB: זֵ֣ד יָ֭הִיר לֵ֣ץ שְׁמ֑וֹ

NAS: Proud, Haughty, Scoffer,

KJV: Proud [and] haughtyscorner

INT: Proud Haughty scorner are his names

Habakkuk 2:5

BIB: בּוֹגֵ֔ד גֶּ֥בֶר יָהִ֖יר וְלֹ֣א יִנְוֶ֑ה

NAS: betrays the haughty man,

KJV: by wine, [he is] a proudman,

INT: betrays man the haughtynever stay

2 Occurrences

“Proud” – More Hebrew Words on Narcissists from Proverbs 21:24

October 18, 2013 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

“Proud”, “Haughty”, “Scoffer” are his names, who acts with insolent pride. Proverbs 21:24 (NASB)

To expand on Proverbs 21:24 in defining a narcissist (“Proud, Haughty, Scoffer are his names who acts with insolent pride”), we need to further expand the definition of the “names – Proud, Haughty, Scoffer”, just as we expanded “insolent pride” from http://insolentpride.blogspot.jp/2013/10/insolent-pride-hebrew-word.html . Following is the breakdown of the word “proud” from http://biblesuite.com/hebrew/2086.htm.

————————————————————————————————–

Proud

zed: insolent, presumptuous

Original Word: זֵד

Part of Speech: Noun Masculine

Transliteration: zed

Phonetic Spelling: (zade’)

Short Definition: arrogant

Word Origin

from zud

Definition

insolent, presumptuous

NASB Translation

arrogant (9), arrogant men (1), presumptuous (1), proud (2).

זֵד adjective insolent, presumptuous: — ׳ז Proverbs 21:24; plural זֵדִים Jeremiah 43:2 11t.; — always masculine, and always of opposition to ׳י, wickedness; with qualified noun expressed, only הָאֲנָשִׁים הַזֵּדִים Jeremiah 43:2, of opponents of Jeremiah; elsewhere used substantively, as technical term for godless, rebellious men; once singular זֵד יָהִיר לֵץ שְׁמוֺ Proverbs 21:24 a haughty insolent one, scorner is his name(“” עוֺשֶׂה בְּעֶבְרַת זָדוֺן); usually plural Isaiah 13:11(׳גְּאוֺן ז; “” גַּאֲוַת עָרִיצִים); Malachi 3:13 (“” עשֵֹׁי רִשְׁעָה), Malachi 4:19 (“” רִשְׁעָה עשֵֹׁה); and in Psalm 86:14 (“” עָרִיצִים), Psalm 119:21(“” מִמִּצְוֺתֶיךָ הַשֹּׁגִים), Psalm 119:51; Psalm 119:69; Psalm 119:78; Psalm 119:85; Psalm 119:122; so probably also Psalm 19:14 גַּם מִזֵּדִים חֲשׂךְ עַבְדֶּ֑ךָ also from presumptuous men hold back thy servant (Ew Ol Hup Che RVm); > presumptuous sins Deal. (AV RV).

presumptuous, proud

From zuwd; arrogant — presumptuous, proud.

see HEBREW zuwd

הַזֵּדִ֑ים הזדים זֵ֘דִ֤ים זֵ֣ד זֵ֭דִים זֵדִ֑ים זֵדִ֔ים זֵדִ֜ים זֵדִ֣ים זֵדִֽים׃ זד זדים זדים׃ מִזֵּדִ֨ים ׀ מזדים haz·zê·ḏîm hazzeDim hazzêḏîm miz·zê·ḏîm mizzeDim mizzêḏîm zê·ḏîm zed zêḏ zeDim zêḏîm

——————————————————————————————————————

Strong’s Hebrew 2086
13 Occurrences

Psalm 19:13

BIB: גַּ֤ם מִזֵּדִ֨ים ׀ חֲשֹׂ֬ךְ עַבְדֶּ֗ךָ

NAS: Your servant from presumptuous [sins]; Let them not rule

KJV: thy servant also from presumptuous [sins]; let them not have dominion

INT: Also presumptuous keep your servant

Psalm 86:14

BIB: אֱלֹהִ֤ים ׀ זֵ֘דִ֤ים קָֽמוּ־ עָלַ֗י

NAS: O God, arrogant menhave risen

KJV: O God, the proud are risen

INT: God arrogant have risen against

Psalm 119:21

BIB: גָּ֭עַרְתָּ זֵדִ֣ים אֲרוּרִ֑ים הַ֝שֹּׁגִים

NAS: You rebuke the arrogant,the cursed,

KJV: Thou hast rebuked the proud [that are] cursed,

INT: rebuke the arrogant the cursed wander

Psalm 119:51

BIB: זֵ֭דִים הֱלִיצֻ֣נִי עַד־

NAS: The arrogant utterly deride

KJV: The proud have had me greatly

INT: the arrogant derision against

Psalm 119:69

BIB: עָלַ֣י שֶׁ֣קֶר זֵדִ֑ים אֲ֝נִ֗י בְּכָל־

NAS: The arrogant have forged a lie

KJV: The proud have forged a lie

INT: against A lie the arrogant I all

Psalm 119:78

BIB: יֵבֹ֣שׁוּ זֵ֭דִים כִּי־ שֶׁ֣קֶר

NAS: May the arrogant be ashamed,

KJV: Let the proud be ashamed;

INT: be ashamed may the arrogant with A lie

Psalm 119:85

BIB: כָּֽרוּ־ לִ֣י זֵדִ֣ים שִׁיח֑וֹת אֲ֝שֶׁ֗ר

NAS: The arrogant have dug pits

KJV: The proud have digged pits

INT: have dug the arrogant pits me who

Psalm 119:122

BIB: אַֽל־ יַעַשְׁקֻ֥נִי זֵדִֽים׃

NAS: for good; Do not let the arrogant oppress

KJV: for good: let not the proudoppress

INT: nay oppress the arrogant

Proverbs 21:24

BIB: זֵ֣ד יָ֭הִיר לֵ֣ץ

NAS: Proud, Haughty, Scoffer,

KJV: Proud [and] haughty scorner

INT: Proud Haughty scorner

Isaiah 13:11

BIB: וְהִשְׁבַּתִּי֙ גְּא֣וֹן זֵדִ֔ים וְגַאֲוַ֥ת עָרִיצִ֖ים

NAS: to the arrogance of the proud And abase

KJV: and I will cause the arrogancy of the proud to cease,

INT: put to the arrogance of the proud the haughtiness of the ruthless

Jeremiah 43:2

BIB: וְכָל־ הָאֲנָשִׁ֖ים הַזֵּדִ֑יםאֹמְרִ֣ים אֶֽל־

NAS: and all the arrogant men

KJV: of Kareah, and all the proud men,

INT: and all men the arrogant to say to

Malachi 3:15

BIB: אֲנַ֖חְנוּ מְאַשְּׁרִ֣ים זֵדִ֑ים גַּם־ נִבְנוּ֙

NAS: we call the arrogantblessed;

KJV: And now we call the proudhappy;

INT: we call the arrogant only built

Malachi 4:1

BIB: וְהָי֨וּ כָל־ זֵדִ֜ים וְכָל־ עֹשֵׂ֤ה

NAS: and all the arrogant and every

KJV: as an oven; and all the proud, yea, and all that do

INT: become and all the arrogant and every do

13 Occurrences

Narcissism / Insolent Pride – The Hebrew Word

October 18, 2013 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

Since the word “insolent pride” used in Proverbs 21:24 is a foundation for this discussion, we need to take a closer look at the Hebrew word for it – “zadon”

From http://biblesuite.com/hebrew/2087.htm

zadon: insolence, presumptuousness

Original Word: זָדוֹן

Part of Speech: Noun Masculine

Transliteration: zadon

Phonetic Spelling: (zaw-done’)

Short Definition: arrogance

Word Origin

from zud

Definition

insolence, presumptuousness

NASB Translation

arrogance (3), arrogant (2), insolence (2), insolent pride (1), presumptuously (2), pride (1).

———————————————————————————————–

Here are the uses

Strong’s Hebrew 2087 – 11 Occurrences

bə·zā·ḏō·wn — 2 Occ.

haz·zā·ḏō·wn — 1 Occ.

Deuteronomy 17:12

BIB: אֲשֶׁר־ יַעֲשֶׂ֣ה בְזָד֗וֹן לְבִלְתִּ֨י שְׁמֹ֤עַ

NAS: acts presumptuously by not listening

KJV: that will dopresumptuously, and will not hearken

INT: who acts presumptuouslynot listening

Deuteronomy 18:22

BIB: דִבְּר֖וֹ יְהוָ֑ה בְּזָדוֹן֙ דִּבְּר֣וֹ הַנָּבִ֔יא

NAS: has spoken it presumptuously; you shall not be afraid

KJV: hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid

INT: spoken the LORDpresumptuously has spoken the prophet

1 Samuel 17:28

BIB: יָדַ֣עְתִּי אֶת־ זְדֹנְךָ֗ וְאֵת֙ רֹ֣עַ

NAS: I know your insolence and the wickedness

KJV: I know thy pride, and the naughtiness

INT: I acknowledge your insolence and the wickedness of your heart

Proverbs 11:2

BIB: בָּֽא־ זָ֭דוֹן וַיָּבֹ֣א קָל֑וֹן

NAS: When pride comes, then comes

KJV: [When] pride cometh, then cometh

INT: comes pride comes dishonor

Proverbs 13:10

BIB: רַק־ בְּ֭זָדוֹן יִתֵּ֣ן מַצָּ֑ה

NAS: Through insolence comes nothing

KJV: Only by pride cometh contention:

INT: but insolence comes strife

Proverbs 21:24

BIB: ע֝וֹשֶׂ֗ה בְּעֶבְרַ֥ת זָדֽוֹן׃

NAS: Who acts with insolent pride.

KJV: who dealeth in proudwrath.

INT: acts wrath insolent

Jeremiah 49:16

BIB: הִשִּׁ֤יא אֹתָךְ֙ זְד֣וֹן לִבֶּ֔ךָ שֹֽׁכְנִי֙

NAS: As for the terror of you, The arrogance of your heart

KJV: hath deceived thee, [and] the pride of thine heart,

INT: the terror deceived the arrogance of your heart live

Jeremiah 50:31

BIB: הִנְנִ֤י אֵלֶ֙יךָ֙ זָד֔וֹן נְאֻם־ אֲדֹנָ֥י

NAS: I am against you, O arrogant one, Declares

KJV: Behold, I [am] against thee, [O thou] most proud, saith

INT: behold I am againstarrogant Declares the Lord

Jeremiah 50:32

BIB: וְכָשַׁ֤ל זָדוֹן֙ וְנָפַ֔ל וְאֵ֥ין

NAS: The arrogant one will stumble

KJV: And the most proud shall stumble

INT: will stumble the arrogantand fall no

Ezekiel 7:10

BIB: הַמַּטֶּ֔ה פָּרַ֖ח הַזָּדֽוֹן׃

NAS: has budded, arrogancehas blossomed.

KJV: hath blossomed, pride hath budded.

INT: the rod has blossomedarrogance

Obadiah 1:3

BIB: זְד֤וֹן לִבְּךָ֙ הִשִּׁיאֶ֔ךָ

NAS: The arrogance of your heart

KJV: The pride of thine heart hath deceived

INT: the arrogance of your heart deceived

What is Narcissism

October 18, 2013 By DCRobertsson in Uncategorized

There are a lot of good sources to define Narcissism. Some characteristics from http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Living_With_a_Narcissist

Determining whether someone is a narcissist

It can be difficult to determine whether someone is a narcissist, even to experts. This is particularly true if you do not know the person very well or spend some time looking for the traits to be revealed. Non-professional diagnosis should be avoided, since there is a risk that they will be skewed closeness to the subject.

Narcissistic traits are the source of self-love/value and self-empowerment, everyone has the traits found in narcissism at different levels, it is only when it is pathological (akin to schizophrenia) that it can become detrimental to those around the sufferer of the disorder.

It is not uncommon between partners, couples and parents (in relation to children, especially teenagers) to at some point interpret a strong personality as being narcissist, labeling and explaining away behaviors as such is easier, more that to dedicated the necessary effort in a deeper analysis. Furthermore, only a qualified mental health professional can officially diagnose personality disorders or mental illnesses.

The following list of traits may provide clues, if someone is demonstrating strong narcissist behavior.

A narcissists typically require:

Attention from others (e.g. likes to be at the center of a discussion when visitors are in the house);

Adulation from others (i.e. likes to be admired by others and therefore presents a positive image of himself or herself to others in order to secure that admiration);

Subservience from others (especially those who live with him or her);

Recent research shows that narcissists sometimes are “ego dystonic” — that is, having thoughts or exhibiting behaviour that contradict their idealized self-image. Mostly, narcissists don’t care about the clash, and moreover they often rationalize the clash by blaming others. But many narcissists do develop permanent “ego-dystony” — that is, they constantly feel bad about themselves and their behaviour. When in such a mood of self-doubt, the narcissist is likely to utter things like “you deserve better” and “I can never please anyone”.

But these proclamations are meant to TEST the narcissist’s closest, nearest, or dearest. Will they abandon/humiliate/betray him once they discover his true face?

A narcissist often criticises or vilifies others but hates it when others criticise him or her.

The narcissist may also be very adept at vilifying, doing it in a gracious or innocent or humorous manner, and making his or her backbiting seem socially acceptable.

A narcissist likes to receive praise from others but often dislikes to hear other people being praised.

Therefore, if you are in the habit of often speaking well of people (always giving praise when praise is due) then you may soon encounter objections from narcissists who hate to see others being praised. In this way, you may start to see narcissists raising their heads above the parapet to take aim at others who you praise.

A narcissist likes to ask favours of others but dislikes it when others ask too many favours of him or her.

A narcissist can be dishonest but at the same time is a master of disguise and can lie very convincingly. The narcissist’s lies may take the form of exaggeration or, in some cases, complete fabrication. To many who live with the narcissist it seems that the narcissist has a cavalier disrespect for precise truth, and there is a strong temptation for other family members to adopt a similar disrespect for precise truth.

A narcissist thinks that he or she is entitled to special privileges or special treatment.

A narcissist is interpersonally exploitative and takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends, without regard for how their choices might effect others.

A narcissist has little or no empathy and is unwilling or unable to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

A lack of genuine empathy (e.g. feeling genuinely sad when seeing other people being sad) is a key aspect of pathological narcissism — although it should be borne in mind that a lack of empathy is exhibited not only by narcissists but by sociopaths as well. Moreover, one may feel genuine sympathy without expressing it, or may convincingly feign sympathy while feeling nothing.

A narcissist is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

A narcissist typically seeks to control the family finances.

A narcissist often has an arrogant affect (e.g. haughty behaviours or attitudes).

Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism

Recognizing It, Understanding It, Dealing With It …………………. DCRobertsson

Dealing With Narcissists* – Avoid Them

Dealing With Narcissists – It Depends on the Relationship

Narcissist Tactics – How They Attack

Narcissistic Traits – They’re Conflict Creators

Narcissists and Conflict

Narcissist Case Studies – Pharisees – How We Know They Were Narcissists, Part I

Narcissism and the Sovereignty of God – Intro

Narcissist* Traits – They Like The Thought of Being Superior

Narcissism Case Studies – the Pharisees, Overview

Narcissism Case Studies in the Bible

How To Deal With Narcissists – Introduction

“Scoffer” – More Hebrew Words on Narcissists from Proverbs 21:24

“Haughty” – More Hebrew Words on Narcissists from Proverbs 21:24

“Proud” – More Hebrew Words on Narcissists from Proverbs 21:24

Narcissism / Insolent Pride – The Hebrew Word

What is Narcissism